Me: “Mom wants to know if we want to go camping for a weekend, but she thinks that all the cabins might be booked, so we’d have to do the tent thing.”
Alfred: “Um, well, up to you. I’m up for whatever, but I’ve never really camped or put up a tent or done anything outdoorsy. I’d be pretty much useless.”
Alfred: “I’d be useless in case of a Zombie Apocalypse, too.”
Me: “Oh, I know. I’ve already decided to throw you under the proverbial bus if that happens.”
Alfred: (joking) “Well, I can run faster scared, than the zombies can mad!”
…bless him. He thinks I’m kidding.