It's GRADapalooza, if you're Canadian

So I challenged everyone yesterday to ante up with their prom pics, as requested by Blissfully Caffeinated and the Stiletto Mom. And apparently Jen over at Sprite's Keeper also made it the Spin this week, so hey! you can't lose!

Other than the rest of us snickering at you, that is. We're snickering out of love, though, I swear.

As it turns out I don't have a lot of my prom pics floating around. I know I've seen better ones, but other people must have them. FoN?

This first pic is actually not from MY grad. Pretty much all my friends graduated the year before me.

It's because I am YOUNGER, you guys. Not dumber. Although the pics may say differently.

Anyway, I was my friend J's date to go to their grad, because that was the "real" party. I was a real prom slut that year, too, I went to THREE in total (and wore the same hideous dress each time. It may have been rather ripe by the end).

(I was showing off my black Lee press-on nails. Rawr!)

The next year (my lonely, lonely senior year), my actual grad, I pretty much just went to the ceremony and then wandered off. It was the first year the school did a 'dry' grad, and much to my chagrin, everybody went. Sheep.

My friend J accompanied me again, and as you can see I was rockin' the goth look (with a dress I found at a second-hand store):

(What you can't see is that I had to wear flat sandals instead of heels, because a couple of weeks earlier I'd broken my baby toe in the most spectacular fashion. So I was like...hippy goth. Or something. It bothered me more than it should have, considering I didn't have many friends in my own graduating class)

(Also what you can't really see is J's super long hair that he pulled back into a half-ponytail. We pretty much had the same hair there. He held on to that hair for WAY longer than he should have)

I know, my pics turned out to be kind of lame. I know you guys came here looking for some big hair, so here's a parting shot:

Oh yeah, baby.

In lieu of a real post, a challenge. En garde!

Often, on Thursdays, I post a retro pic for ya'll in conjunction with Bex's fun new meme, Funky Foto Flashback. But this week I'm saving the painful memories til tomorrow because Jen at Blissfully Caffeinated and Mary Anne, the Stiletto Mom, have put their twisted brains together and challenged us all to celebrate prom season by posting our own prom photos.

(Up here we don't call it 'prom' much. We usually just say 'grad'. But it's the same concept: the hair! the satin! the underage drinking!)

If you want to play - and you know you therapist will say it's probably a good idea - just post your own pic tomorrow and make sure you give those two ladies credit. We have to blame SOMEONE for those mental scars, right? Then leave them a comment telling them where to find your shame, and they'll direct the entire internet your way.

Well, maybe half.

I have the Discovery Channel now, and it's terrifying: Random Tuesday Thoughts


It's that time again, kids! And it almost snuck up on me AGAIN. One of these weeks I'm going to be blithely looking through my reader, thinking, "Why does everybody have these old RTT posts up?", and then going, oooohhhhhhhhh.

(I'm thinking that will be some time in June. Does that work for you guys?)

Let us begin!

This morning I thought I should start my week out right by scaring the crap out of someone, so I sent this link to Steenky Bee. You know how everyone keeps sending me zombie stuff? Yeah, that's what I did there. If you're afraid of the impending robot attack too, I wouldn't click on it. It's like HAL and that girl from The Ring got together and had a kid. And then stuffed it into a Chuckie doll.

Anyway, she retaliated by telling me about how the Japanese (Honda, to be specific) have invented a device that you attach to your head and it reads your thoughts. And then bosses a human-shaped robot into doing what you thought about. So you can like, close the trunk of your car with YOUR MIND.

Is this really necessary?

I mean, how long until someone (*cough*therobot*cough*) hacks the technology and uses it to control your mind?

...I'm sorry, I had something else important to say, but I have this overwhelming urge to go and buy a Civic.

I wonder what ever happened to that atom smasher they built under Switzerland? You know, the one they were trying to use to recreate the Big Bang that had the potential to suck us all into a black hole instead? A bunch of nuclear physicists stated their concerns and then we never heard any more about it. I mean, I think we'd notice if we were suddenly BAMF'D into an alternate dimension.

Or maybe not. Maybe there are some alien beings in our old galaxy wondering, "Hey, what happened to that nice little blue planet? You know, the one full of apes with cell phones?".

Chocolate you huff. Can it be that good?

They should invent alcohol you huff, too.

Oh, wait...Lysol.

Why aren't the inventors of huffable chocolate, mind control devices, and Snuggies all working on a cure for cancer?

Do they not have the space? I'm planning to clean out my garage, they can come here. Seriously. I have wine, and some Oreos.

That bag I posted about yesterday? It was this one. I was sad I didn't win it, too, but uh - I'm pretty sure it's not very "me". Or something. If I chant that long enough I could almost believe it.

Oh well, next fashion show.

(I love how the site suggests I pair it with a $300 wedge sandal and a $1600 satchel. Oooh, yes, why don't I pick up TWO? You know, for emergencies).

And this week there is no segue. How random. So! You know what to do! Or, if you're new here, in brief: grab the button. Put it on your random-style post. Leave your deets with Mr. Linky. And then visit some of your fellow bloggers for a peek inside their brain!

Um, well their thoughts. Not their brain. That might be icky.

And always, don't forget to go visit co-host Kelly at Baby Boogers and leave your link too! Happy Tuesday!

Zombie Roundup

I'm having a busy week and I don't really have my poop in a group to pull together a REAL post, so I thought I would share with you the things that people share with me.

That's right, the zombie things. That people send me. Because obviously they all really hate me.

For instance, did you know there is an entire organization dedicated to zombie preparedness? That's right, I'm not the ONLY whack job out there. Other people think dead things are coming to get them, too, and they're even going so far as to put together task forces. With tanks. And face shields, for the ones that like to nibble.

Peggy knows I like to read, I mean who could miss my rave review of World War Z? So she sent me this link to Pride and Prejudice (and zombies). Didn't think Jane Austen did zombies? Oh yeah, you were wrong. So very wrong. I think I'd seen that before but this time I actually read a few pages and...d'oh. I may have to buy it.

I'll be sending Peggy a bill for the therapy required after that.

Robin at Cinnamon & Honey figures me for a stiletto girl, so she sent me a link to these: Zombie high heels. Possibly she also thinks I'm a drag queen?

A while back Erin, the Head Bag Lady at Durtbagz, sent me a link to her new 'zombie crossing' t-shirts. Because obviously, zombies have the right of way. Unless you're driving the tank. Then I think you win.

And, just in case you thought this was all getting too silly, here are 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen. Because that kind of information is EXACTLY what someone with my fear and rabid imagination needs.

You're welcome.

In fact, I may forget I posted this at all, and then panic later: Random Tuesday Thoughts


Back when I started Random Tuesday Thoughts, I originally had a co-host, Kelly the Neurotic Mom. But then she got smacked with a major bloggy disappointment and one of those exhausting pregnancy things to boot, so she took a bit of a leave. But she's back! New and improved!

Um. Or older and wiser. Or something. Anyway, you should visit her at her new home, Baby Boogers, and leave your linky with her as well. And while you're at it, visit the rest of the participants this week too!

And if you're new here, well, this is how it works: Write a random post. Get the button and place it with care. And then leave your link with Mr. Linky. Easy, right? You could probably do it in your sleep after a couple of bottles of wine and a Percocet.

Let us begin!

I'm not blogging and drinking this time. I'm stoned on muscle relaxants instead. Could make for a mellow post.

I'm hitting the horse pills because I effed up my back somehow. I'm thinking that I over-exerted it last night. Here's the part where I tell you it was some fabulous new workout and oh, aren't I a dedicated little fitness buff, but no. My toddler woke up from a nightmare and it took 45 minutes of standing and rocking his 30-lb self to get him to calm down.

It also took approximately 3817 repetitions of singing the alphabet. I hope this doesn't create any bad associations for him. I guess if he runs screaming from the room during his first eye exam, we'll know for sure.

A haiku:

Naked! I feel naked!
Leaving cel phone at home is
like forgetting pants.

I wonder who first decided that having someone hug themselves and then flinging yourself bodily onto their shoulders in order to crack their back would be a medically sound decision?

I think I need another horse pill. My brain is tensing up. And my teeth feel like they might stay in their sockets, after all.

I'm a little disturbed by all the robot creations lately. Like robot teachers. And robot fish. Not to mention robot supermodels.

Also, botnets. Do I have to start worrying about the possibility of Skynet gaining sentience as well as zombies? I can only handle so many irrational fears, people.

Hm. ONE glass of wine probably wouldn't hurt, would it?

I mean, I'd PROBABLY wake up if the toddler was crying or the house burned down.


You guys are spoilsports.

Fine, I'll just get my pain relief from your RTT posts and loving comments. So hook me up, yo. Grab the button and make it happen!

Spin Cycle: It's no secret

So this week Jen over at Sprite's Keeper mixed it up a bit for the Spin Cycle. She doesn't want us to talk about ourselves.

I know - what the hell?

Anyway, in the giving spirit of the season, she wanted us to be 'Secret Santa' to one of our favorite blogs, and sing their praises in a post dedicated just to them. From my list of favorite blogs she assigned me Get the Stink Off, because, as she said, "it should be a challenge".

I'm pretty sure she meant because it's just so awesome, I wouldn't know where to start.

I'm full of booze Christmas cheer so it seemed like a good time to wax poetic about Cameron's blog. Except that if you spend any time here, you'll know how poetic I'm NOT. I'll just say it's awesome. It sounds more believable anyway.

Cameron at Get the Stink Off is one of those semi-rare creatures, a "daddy blogger" running with the pack of the rest of us mommy bloggers. I love reading his posts, because you never know what you're going to get. I mean, it's always well-written and clever, but one day he can write a poignant and gut-wrenching post about the horrifying possibility that you accidentally harmed your own child, and the next day write something so hysterically, typically MALE. Like wanting hot lesbian sex for Christmas. Or an entire post about the pride of being a carnivore. He writes things that we're all thinking but would never say out loud. And - a total bonus around this joint - he regularly makes shit up.

Cameron was one of the first people to spot the genius that is my other blog, and he leaves witty and sarcastic comments there that make me laugh, and then make me want to lobotomize myself before my son gets to his kids' age. I don't comment on his blog as often as I should, usually because my scathing wit is not up to the task. I'm sarcastic - he's ACIDIC. If ya'll haven't visited his site, you should. Go on, git.

So, dude, this not-so-secret Santa's for you. It comes with a scotch on the rocks, but you have to come to Canada to get it. Merry merry!

5 lists I considered listing while I was listing THIS list

1. "Reasons why you should go check out my guest post today at Half As Good As You". Except that I thought it was kind of double-dipping to use another blog's meme to send you over to a third blog. Plus you might not come back. Anyway, all I could come up with for reasons was a) it's a post about how I let someone hook me up to electrical current and b)I'm asking really nicely.

2. "Christmas gifts I wanted to buy for my one-year-old but they were out of stock". But there are only two, Baby's First MP3 and a Melissa & Doug pull toy, and two does not a list make. I guess I could have added a Wii Fit, but that's not exactly for the kid.

3. "10 Ways to make Christmas better". That was actually a suggestion from my hubby, and I considered it (honest, honey), but it doesn't really lend itself to being entertaining. I just don't have the moral fibre required to write a whole post about volunteering in a soup kitchen or making peace with your extended family. Stealing the world's supply of Christmas carols, letting Santa get eaten by zombies, or converting to Judaism, sure. But it's probably only me that thinks those would make Christmas better.

4. "Ways to de-stress your holidays". The last list idea spun into that one, but again, too serious. I was mostly considering it because I like luring in innocent google searchers and SCARING THE CRAP OUT OF THEM.

5. "A list of a bunch of half-assed list ideas". Oh...right. That's the one I went with.


9 things I covet, or, oh hey is it Christmas time already?

What? This isn't an entirely self-serving list. How else are you going to know what to buy all the OTHER artsy, comic-obsessed, gaming nerd moms on your list?

1. The Bose SoundDock for iPods: Okay, really I just need some KIND of speaker for my iPod. But if I'm coveting, I should go all out, right? I'm tired of having all these really great songs on my iPod and only listening to them at the gym. I should be able to belt them out in my living room and assault my son's ears serenade my entire neighbourhood!

2. I love my Wacom Bamboo pen tablet, but what I really really want is the Cintiq. To be able to draw right on the screen? Droooooool.

Or, y'know, paper works like that too. But not quite as fun.

3. A laptop bag like this one from glorydaze on etsy, or the lapsac. Or anything like that, that doesn't make me look like I inherited my father's industrial black vinyl laptop bag. If it could double as a cute diaper bag, that would rock even further. I just want to look cool as I take out my laptop, and then take out a sippy cup and a baggie of cheerios. Is that so much to ask??

4. Comments. Lots and lots of comments. Seriously, people, I'm barely holding it together here and comments are the glue.

5. A huge wall decal of zombies. Okay, no, not really. We've been over my fear of zombies. But if I wasn't completely askeered of the living dead, I would think it was pretty cool.

Maybe in the baby's room.

6. A new bathrobe, to replace the one I bought on sale 5 years ago at a La Senza outlet, on sale because it was missing the sash. The one that two years ago, the dog chewed the pockets out of because she thought she smelled a molecule of dog biscuit (and I've been forgetting and trying to put things in the pockets that no longer exist ever since). Do you think she would refrain from chewing a new one if I bought her her own?

7. Two words: SPA. DAY.

8. This hoodie from I know, I'm a loser. I just really REALLY want to wear it to work one day. Or possibly every day. I used to have the t-shirt but, doesn't fit anymore.

9. The Wii Fit. Well, I've been coveting one of these for a while, they're just elusive round these parts. Must be shy. If I find one, it's automatically an early Christmas present to ME.

What do YOU covet?


Posted in conjunction with abdpdbt's Listless Mondays:

A new low

It finally happened. I'm having dreams about BLOGGING.

This usually happens to me when I've been obsessed spending a lot of time doing one thing. At the height of my City of Heroes superhero career, I dreamt at night about superjumping around the city, thwarting evil. Those were pretty good dreams.

Once I read the entire Diana Gabaldon Outlander series from start to finish. For two weeks I had some REALLY good dreams. Mmm, Scottish burrs and men in kilts.

When I was a waitress and pulling a lot of shifts, I'd have nightmares where my section was the size of a football field and people would be ordering really complicated drinks in a whisper while people at other tables impatiently flagged me down. Obviously, those were not fun dreams but every server has those dreams, so at least I could go to work and expect sympathy.

But dreaming about blogging? It's not like I can wake up and exclaim, "OMG! I just had this whacked out dream where savvysuzie posted something really funny but nobody commented and then barefootfoodie put me on her blogroll!". I mean, I've never been cool but - c'mon.

So, yeah. I think I need to play more Warhammer or something.