Me: My kid has spent the majority of the day in time out. He's in a really fun new 'hitting' phase. Halp.
FoN: Explain to him that hitting is wrong. That should work.
Me: Gee, I hadn't thought of that.
FoN: That's what I'm here for.
FoN: Fucking (local footballl team that was playing at the time). They are frustrating.
Me: Just explain to them that they should try harder to win. That should work.
FoN: Oh, right. thanks.
Me: That's what I'm here for.
Me: Or you could just not care. That works for me.
FoN: It's working! They're winning now!