So long, and thanks for all the fish: Random Tuesday Thoughts

It’s Tuesday!  My favorite day of the week, and yours!

(If it’s not yours, just lie and tell me it is.  Then tell me I’m pretty.)

When nerds collide:

Me: “I think I’m going to get the hairdresser to leave the grey stripe in my hair.”

Alfred: “’Rogue’-ing it out?  Are you going to start calling me ‘shugah’?  Should I start calling you chere?”

Me: “No…without the Cajun accent, it just sounds like you’re calling me Cher, and that’s weird.”

Both: “♫If I could ttuuurrrn baacck ttiime!♫”

The beautiful Naomi from featured me on SheKnows’ Daily Delights as one of the Top 10 Humor Blogs.  I know, I’m worried about her mind a little too.  Maybe we should take up a collection or…drop off a casserole or something.

We had some horrible illness roll through the UnMom household this past week that I became convinced was strep, so at one point I broke out the penicillin I had laying around hoarded for the zombie apocalypse.  I didn’t mention it to Alfred and suggested he go to the medi clinic to get his own.

Sadly, I think that’s fairly predictive of how I will actually behave when the zombies arrive.

Oh, don’t get all altruistic on me.  You’ll throw yours under the bus when the shit comes down too.

Watching married people flirt (with people they’re not married to) continuously on Twitter is like reading a description of a slow-motion train wreck, one sentence every 5 minutes.

Also, it makes me want to barf.

The Star Trek theme played on a musical saw.

I just gave my stupid fucking dog the Heimlich.  Jeebus.  She’s a garbage disposal, I don’t even know what she was choking on.  She coughed it up AND THEN ATE IT AGAIN.

Note to self: Asking choking dog “Can you breathe?” and “Are you choking?” repeatedly is unlikely to get you a reply.  Not only is she choking, but she's a DOG.  

And now, to be totally random, I’m announcing the hiatus of Random Tuesday Thoughts. 

No, I’m not kidding. 

It’s not you, it’s me.

*cue cheesy montage film and RTT and I during better times*

*swell of music*

*fade to black with last piano notes*

Since it’s the last one for a while, you should visit all the other linkers.  There are some fantastic blogs out there and I’ve been honored to host for some of them every Tuesday.  Or you could go back to where it all began.

Random up, y’all!

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Oh, there was some stuff and some things and some links to distract you from my lack of clever: Random Tuesday Thoughts

So, it’s been kind of a week, huh?  I kinda had a little breakdown there but I’m feeling much better.  I recommend one every 6 weeks or so, whether you need it or not.  It’s cathartic and sometimes you lose weight.

And then Japan happened.  Oh, Japan…I don’t even know what to say.  Mother Earth is such a bitch.

So with that healthy dose of shit-flavored Perspective Medicine, let’s have a few random inane thoughts, shall we?

I forwarded this “romantic” Batman-themed hotel room (that you can rent for, ahem, 3 hours at a time) to Alfred.  Then a (male) friend of ours shared the same link on Alfred’s FB wall.  Um…awkward?

Men Without Hats is coming here in June.  They’re Alfred’s favorite 80s One Hit Wonder, so much so, in fact, that ALL their songs are now “hits” as far as he’s concerned.  This household is well-versed in Men Without Hats.  Their show coincides with Alfred’s birthday, so he’s organized a bunch of friends to attend.

During their relevant period, he (and I) actually listened only to metal (if you count White Lion as metal, in my case.  Which he doesn’t. BUT I DO).  So if you didn’t like it the first time around, does that make a person retro-chic?  Or are you still just Old?

I think I revealed far too much of my younger self in that paragraph.

I called H&R Block last week to see if I needed an appointment to get my taxes done.  “No, it should be fine,” they told me.  “Even if mine are a wee bit complicated?” I clarified. “Oh, no, you don’t need an appointment, you can just come in.”

So I went there today.

“We’re very busy,” they apologized.  “You’ll have to make an appointment.  It’s tax season.”

Really.

I had this idea once:

…except with entire sleepers for babies that are in the crawling phase.

It’s called MULTI-TASKING.  (via nedhardy.com)

Identify with any of these?

Do you guys have one of those friends on FB who you used to know, like 20 years ago, and you know they still live in your city, and you see them every once in a while and you’re fairly certain it’s them but when you’re close enough to actually make eye contact, they totally go out of their way to avoid it?

Do you ever wonder if the friend is asking their friends the same damn question?

Now gather round, like moths to a flame, and share your own Random Thoughts. 

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I blame the economy: Random Tuesday Thoughts

Yay!  It’s Tuesday!  You know what that means, right? 

It means I’m not posting pictures of my grey silver hair!

It also means it’s time for Random Tuesday Thoughts.  If you’re new, it’s pretty self-explanatory.  We all post our thoughts, which are random, today, which is Tuesday.  Then I think you have to leave your webbylink or something technical like that.  Also, show some community spirit and go visit other people fumbling around this wild wild west that is the internet.

(People that are participating in the random thoughts, that is.  Just to be clear.)

Shall we?

So, I didn’t get that job.  I’m pretty bummed about it.  It was an actual social media job, you guys.  They do exist!

I’m self-medicating to get over the disappointment.  I don’t have any wine in the house, but I do have an entire chocolate cake.  Well, half of one.  Now.

The exciting part is that I was told my social media “credentials” more than passed muster.  So now I have carte blanche to market myself as a “social media maven”. 

If I can figure out a way to say “social media maven” without sounding like a complete asshat, that is.

I also went to a career fair this morning.  Because, y’know, the root canal people were all booked up.

I think the most annoying thing about job hunting is the time it sucks out of my life.  I could be doodling or twittering or whittling or…something else that sounds vaguely pornographic.

On that note, someone who ‘discovered’ my site on StumbleUpon categorized it as pornography.  Wasn’t that nice of them?  It’s only been categorized that way for…oh…two years.

My thoughts aren’t all that random this week.  Here’s a pirate-ship-themed bedroom, which I obviously must now possess.  (Right after I get a better job to pay for it.)(Ooops, so much for random.)

Speaking of social media asshats mavens, I am now also on Tumblr.  Because obviously I don’t have enough to do.  And, because I have a vendetta against superfluous “E”s, you can also befriend me on Flickr.

I think that’s about as social as I’ll get for a while.

But if you want to make friends, RTT’s where it at!  Random up!

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The leftover Mini-Pops go to the chicken zombies: Random Tuesday Thoughts

Let’s get ready to rrraaaaaaaaaaaannnndddddddoooomm!

Well, are you ready?  Do you know what to do?  Don’t look at me, I took advantage of your momentary confusion to get a head start.  I’m competitive that way.

Me: “What do you think happens to Mini-Pops when they’re too old to be Mini-Pops?  You’d think at least one of them would go on to fame and fortune, or something.”

Alfred: “Soylent Green.  They’re fuel for the next generation of Mini-Pops.”

(UPDATED: I can't believe y'all don't know what the Mini Pops are.  I desperately wanted their albums when I was a kid; I don't know why I didn't just get the ORIGINAL music, but whatevs.  Here:  http://www.minipopkids.com/mpk6.php )

I’ve blocked four IP addresses from that John Rambo guy who keeps trying to get me to boycott American Women.  I’m telling you, I’VE TRIED, I just can’t quit you guys.

How the zombie plague will really get started. (Because, well, that WOULD totally be hilarious.)

I have a job interview for a job that I reeeeeaaaalllly want this week.  Send me good vibes, and maybe it will help me to not vomit.  Or at least not vomit at a really inopportune time.

My laptop is back and virus-free, yay!  And fully functional.  Other than that missing software.  And…the charge cord they claimed they didn’t have, so I had to buy a new one. For $120.

But they completely forgot to charge me the $190 for the virus removal, so I guess I’m ahead of the game.

You know, I can’t say as I’d recommend the Geek Squad.

And now, before the time bomb they planted explodes, I think I’ll be done.

Got a random post?  Link it up!

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The virus masquerading as anti-virus software is about as meta as a blog post about how my life without the internet sucks: Random Tuesday Thoughts

Happy Frozen Tuesday.  Seriously, it's effing cold here.

So after a successful 20 years of computing history without encountering any major virus, my laptop has been laid waste.  While innocently perusing porn a blog post, urgent messages suddenly popped up informing me that my computer was infected! with viruses! and trojan horses! and possibly syphilis! DOOOOM AND DESPAIIIIRR!  And all I had to do to make them go away was enter my credit card number to upgrade my "System Tool".

When I (metaphorically) flipped off the actual Tool that infected my computer instead of handing over my banking information, it took over the wallpaper and continued to warn me in obnoxious purple and pink lettering that viruses could BREAK MY LIFE.

Yes.  Well, the virus is an asshole and my laptop is in the gentle care of the Geek Squad, but the "breaking my life" thing might be accurate.  I have never felt this...disconnected.

That whole "face time" and "talking to people" thing is TOTALLY fucking overrated.  I want my Matrix back, dammit.

As luck would have it, our desktop computer has also been crippled by a broken monitor.  So I'm pecking this out on our "backup" computer, which is the one Alfred owned when we got together.  It's tucked in a corner of the basement, doesn't have any browsers other than IE and still has Limewire installed on it.

My life, it is painful sometimes.

On the other hand, it's pretty hard to open multiple tabs and get distracted, so I'm staying on task for once.

I'm also not sharing any fun links this week, because OMIGOD you may as well ask me to offer you my own eyeballs after removing them with barbed wire rather than try to STUMBLE something.

This basement smells funny. 

I've come to the conclusion (in light of recent events, and yes I'm still talking about that) that the apocalypse probably won't come in zombie form.  This is disappointing in a way, since I've honed my decapitation skills for nothing, and also because shambling corpses would probably be easier to fight than what will actually occur - the sudden removal of our internet umbilical.  We're all going to go out in a spectacular showing of ethernet DTs and twitching eyeballs.

Well, okay, one link, since you're all so nice and we're talking about living our lives online anyway: The Facebook Breakup Notifier App.  Because sitting around waiting for someone to get dumped is a HUGE attraction factor in a mate.

You're welcome.  You didn't even have to watch me gouge my eyes out for that one.  Though it kind of makes me feel like doing it anyway.

You know what else does?  All the Random Tuesday posts that I won't be able to visit this week because the Virus Gods hate me!  You should still write one, anyway, though.  I'm sure many of the other super-nice, generous and supportive participants (who are kind to animals) will visit.

Random up!

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