4 readily-available beauty products that aren't trying to kill you or the environment, and actually work

I know, that was a long ass title. But that's really what these are. Do you know how much time I spend trying to find eco-friendly, low-toxicity products? And how much money I spend on them only to find out that they don't even fucking WORK? I swear "eco-friendly" is practically synonymous with "stupid and useless".

So here, you get the fruits of my labours. Some stuff I've found that actually works, you can find on your regular shopping trips, and won't make you (or our lovely green planet) die.

(Disclaimer: I mean from cancer or leprosy or something. I'm pretty sure if someone threw one of these at you hard enough, and hit you in the eyeball or groinal region, it might kill you. I'M TALKING REGULAR USAGE HERE, people. It's sad that I even have to write that disclaimer, and even more sad that I just chuckled at the mental image of someone impaled on a shampoo bottle.)

1. Tom's of Maine Lemongrass Deoderant. I'm pretty sure my Mom used to use this stuff, back when SHE was a hippie. So I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. I was afraid I'd smell like an army of Pledge, but it doesn't really smell like anything after you put it on. You still sweat. You just don't stink. Or increase your chances of Alzheimers or cancer.

I found it at Shopper's Drug Mart, but WalMart also carries it.

2. Burt's Bees Honey Lip Balm. I'm kinda picky about my lip gloss/balm. At one point I had an entire drawer full (that was, uh, pre-child. Now they're just choking/mess hazards). When I found out what went into a lot of them - YOU PUT THEM ON YOUR MOUTH, FOR THE LUVVA GAWD - I got even pickier. Burt's Bees works, tastes good, and you can find it practically everywhere. Shopper's, WalMart, Target.

3. Live Clean "Clean Air" Shampoo & Conditioner. Okay, I'm not sure how 'readily available' this one actually is to you Yanks. I think it's a Canadian company. But it's organic, vegan, sulfate & paraben free, and it actually cleans your hair. And smells pretty. WalMart carries it here in Canada. They have a baby line, too, which I haven't found or tried yet, and unfortunately the rest of their hair product line (mousse, hairspray) rates a good solid shrug.

4. Bare Escentuals Mineral Foundation. This may seem like a no-brainer - it's just minerals! - but it contains things like titanium dioxide that aren't super great to be inhaling, considering its powder form. But, otherwise, it's a freakin' miracle foundation. The infomercials are right. (I hate that.) You can find it at Sephora, or order it online.

That's certainly not all the products I've found that work, but they're in the few I've found at common retailers. So do me a favour, folks, since each and every one of you have touched my life, and I'd be really bummed if you caught The Cancer. Check out your local health food stores, and maybe try out a few of the products. If you find something that won't kill you and actually works, let us all know. Large retailers aren't going to carry that stuff unless we tell them to.

Aaaannnnd, that's me, off my soapbox for at least another month. Back to zombies, comics, and Advil-Robaxacet-red wine cocktails. Happy Friday, y'all.

100th Post (I'm a conformist)

Today marks my 100th post. Yay! I wasn't going to be like all those OTHER bloggers and list 100 facts about myself. I was going to do something clever and different.

Except I couldn't think of anything clever.

So you get 100 facts about me. Um, yay?

I'm going to totally rip off aspire to be the Stiletto Mom and just start at the beginning. Hers turned out well.

(Probably because she's just an interesting person, and I'm not, but shut up. It's my blog).

1. When I was 2 the neighbour kids pretended to befriend me for gum and then locked me in an outhouse. I only know this because my mother told me.

2. She was outraged. I'm pretty sure those poor neighbour kids have more emotional scars now than I do.

3. We lived in a small prairie town (like, 500 people) until I was 5.

4. All I remember from that is making mud pies with the dog's poop and once getting my leg so stuck in a snow drift that I just stood there for what seemed like hours, imagining that the ambulance would arrive any minute to rescue me.

5. I'm pretty sure it was about 5 minutes.

6. I went to a french immersion program in elementary school.

7. I dropped out in grade 9. I can barely speak a word of french.

8. When I was 10 my family picked up and moved to New Zealand. I cried. A lot.

9. We lived there for 2-1/2 years.

10. I hear the NZ school system has gone in the tank lately.

11. While there I met friends who played D&D and started imaginary armadillo farming businesses. Once, we "kidnapped" one of our other friends wearing black masks (oddly, she wasn't fooled), brought her home and kept her in a closet for an hour.

12. What still baffles me is that our parents (and hers) went along with that plan.

13. When I was 13 we moved home. When I was 17 we went back to visit. It was like I had never left.

14. No, not really.

15. I slept through most of high school. I kept going to the doctor to find out if something was wrong with me, but I was apparently just bored.

16. I lost my virginity at 16 to a boy whose last name I can't remember. I just wanted to get it over with, I was the last of my friends to get laid.

17. No, my friends aren't sluts. Honest.

18. Oh, and it sucked.

19. Ironically, shortly after that was when my mother decided to have "the talk" with me. Um, Mom? See that barn door, and that horse disappearing over the horizon? Yeah.

20. Immediately after graduation I moved into an apartment with my best friend.

21. I don't recommend that. If you were wondering.

22. I started working at the job that I'm working at now.

23. The end. ...No, just kidding.

24. In 1993 I decided to go to college. I wanted to do a graphic arts program, and I wanted to move to the coast. None of the ONE graphic arts program I applied to accepted me. I had applied to a Stagecraft program on a whim, and they sent me an acceptance letter. So I did that.

25. No - I had never done anything in theatre before. Ever.

26. It rocked, and I met one of my bestest friends in the world there. It was our first day of Props class, and there were various supply boxes on shelves. One of them was labelled "Dead Things And Their Fur". I giggled. She whispered, "Are you laughing at that too?". Then we bonded over chocolate chocolate chip cookies.

27. "Dead Things and Their Fur" still makes me giggle.

28. Theatre tech school involved a lot of building, painting, and drinking. Not necessarily in that order.

29. One of us "techies" acquired a large, ugly, glass vase thingy on a stand. I think it was actually an ashtray from the 70s. We dubbed it "The Graille" and drank from it at every party. After everyone had contributed booze to it, of course.

30. I was the Queen of the Graille.

31. No, I'm not particularly proud of that.

32. After that diploma I went to the Banff Centre to do their summer program.

33. They had some of the most spectacularly crappy food there EVER. I lost 10 pounds, despite the copious amounts of alcohol I was consuming.

34. I returned to Vancouver and attempted to actually make a living working in theatre. Um, it's hard. And I'm a wimp.

35. So I moved back home.

36. I moved in with FoN and her then 2-year-old daughter.

37. Her daughter ruined the movie Grease for me by playing it repetitively all. day. For several weeks straight.

38. I used to love that movie.

39. Remember what I said about moving in with best friends? Yeah...that didn't last long. So I got my own apartment.

40. I miss living on my own sometimes.

41. I started dating a guy who was a pilot.

42. He was a cheating, manipulative, lying bastard.

43. I stayed with him for almost 3 years.

44. At one point I moved back out to the coast to try to work in theatre, just to get away from him. But he still had a hold over me, so I moved back and started going to university.

45. I also started waitressing.

46. This gave a lot of my good friends pause. Apparently, I never seemed the waitress 'type'.

47. When I finally decided I'd had enough of the asshole pilot, he didn't want to let me go. I literally had to punch him to send him the message.

48. It felt pretty good.

49. I've never punched anyone else.

50. Even though I wouldn't cross the road to piss on him if he were on fire, I appreciate that the relationship taught me valuable lessons. Like how to pick your battles. And when to listen to your radar.

51. I kept going to university. Eventually I started dating someone else.

52. He was a nice guy.

53. Are we only half way through? Yeesh. Kudos if you're still with me.

54. In 2001 both my maternal grandparents passed away. My mother took this opportunity to let me in on the fact that they were raging socialists commies. So THAT'S why they visited Cuba so much.

55. I graduated with distinction.

56. My grad show was a ceramic and plaster shrine to my alter ego, Super Keely.

57. A friend of mine took the 6' Super Keely after the show and hung it up on a pole on his farm with a light over it. It's creepy.

58. After graduation I had planned to go travelling with my friend Fashionista. We had intended to go to Europe in June, but couldn't get our poop in a group.

59. We worked for 6 more months and decided to head to Australia and NZ in February.

60. Fashionista's luggage got searched 3 times on the way out. Mine, once.

61. We spent 3 months in NZ.

62. I visited my old school. It was unimpressive.

63. I started a webpage so the peeps back home could see what we were doing. I scripted it from scratch in HTML.

64. Why the fuck didn't anybody say the word 'blog' to me??

65. We ran out of money and went to Australia, where we had working visas.

66. We worked for a month picking oranges.

67. I don't recommend THAT, either.

68. Did you know orange trees have thorns? And spiders? I was terrified that I would touch a spider while on the top of the ladder, because my first instinct would be to JUMP BACKWARDS, and then I would die. On an orange ranch in Australia.

69. After the orange ranch we hooked up with Fashionista's second cousin in Sydney, who had a candle making business.

70. The candle-making business was way easier and paid way better than oranges.

71. The nice guy I had been dating had made me promise to return, so I did, 8 months after leaving.

72. He dumped me a couple of months after I got home.

73. Fashionista came back too and we moved in together.

74. CLEARLY I DON'T LEARN. But we assumed since we'd been practically breathing each other's air for 8 months we'd be okay.

75. I started working for a film company.

76. It's not as glamorous as it sounds. On my first week an extra called in sick so I had to strip to my underwear and sit in a freezing cold river pretending to be a corpse. Luckily they were only filming my legs, otherwise I probably would have quit right there.

77. It didn't pay enough so I got another waitressing gig.

78. A guy I'd worked with at the first waitressing job was working there. We started hanging out again.

79. Someone asked, "Are you two dating?". I said no. They said, "Well why not?".

80. So I jumped him.

81. Fashionista moved out and he moved in, 3 months after we became a couple.

82. Some people we knew were going to open a restaurant/bar, so we signed on.

83. It was a complete fucking disaster. There were 7 owners.

84. The bar part was pretty successful at first, so we made some money and got the hell out.

85. I went back to working at the same company I'd worked for right after high school.

86. We bought a house.

87. Paul's parents had offered to help with a down payment, but changed their minds when they saw the house we'd chosen.

88. We bought it anyway.

89. It's now worth almost twice what we paid for it.

90. I do a little 'neener neener' dance occasionally. When I'm feeling juvenile. Okay, that's a lot.

91. A few months after moving in we got a dog.

92. A few months after that I got pregnant.

93. We never actually discussed trying to get pregnant. We just stopped using contraception. I assume he's okay with it.

94. I was an ambitious pregnant woman. I planted a garden.

95. I planted one this year, too.

96. I slept for three months, glowed for three months, and felt like crap for the remaining three.

97. In October 2007 Xander was born.

98. I started a journal. In August 2008 it turned into a blog.

99. We have logistical hiccups but life is good.

100. The end.

4 pictures that pretty much sum up my New Years Eve

So after whining so much about going off to hubby's hometown for New Years, you didn't think I'd skip blogging about it, did you? Well actually the trip turned out to be rather pleasant. And we did go out with his sister & BIL for a New Years Eve dinner which, while providing a great steak and some great conversation, had a distinctly small-town flair to it. Here's four pictures that sum up how:

1. If "Leesa" is indeed her real name.

2. As this was explained to me: They open a bag of Doritos. Throw in some ground beef, salsa & sour cream and shake it up. Then they hand it to you, breaking all kinds of health regulations in the process, I'm sure. Nom nom nom *gag*

3. Um, yeah.

4. Note to Self, if Self ever gets the bright idea to open a bar in a small town: If your patrons feel they have a personal relationship with their Video Lottery Terminals, they may be inclined to gamble more. You know, to show their new friends "a good time". Use handmade signs for that personal touch.

...that was all. We were home by 8:30. But it WAS good steak.

A list of things I may consider possibly resolving to do in the New Year. If I feel like it.

1. I'm going to stop eating all my son's Goldfish crackers. For real.

Or at least buy extra.

2. I'm going to get back on the HASAY bandwagon. Again. And start doing the Weight Watchers thing. Again. Because I'm starting to reach narwhal proportions. Again.

Pretty sure it's all the Goldfish crackers.

3. I'm going to stop tormenting my in-laws by saying things like, "You know what I lay awake at night wondering? How I can fortify the house when the zombie apocalypse happens," and "Well we're a little short on cash this month since your son spent it all on beer and crack whores.". I'm not going to go so far as to say I'll start actually listening to them when they talk, though. Baby steps, people.

4. I'm going to stop blogging at work.

5. I'm going to stop lying when I blog.

6. Starting in January, right? This is a list for JANUARY.

7. I'm going to take down the tree before it becomes a fire hazard Groundhog Day, for SURE this year.

Okay, definitely Valentines.

8. I'm going to attempt to maintain this "avoiding convenience foods for the sake of our budget" campaign I have going. For the record, it equates to ME doing a lot more cooking and the rest of the family doing their part by eating it. Why do these things always end up being more work for ME?

9. I'm going to stop turning the stupid TV on all the time. My son doesn't appear to care unless it's Elmo, and I end up pushing him out of the way because Sponge Bob is on.

10. I'm going to accomplish at least one of the things from my List of Things to Do Before I Die. Hubby says he's up for #65, Sleep naked on a foreign beach, but I'm not sure where to put the kid.

11. I'm going to donate to charity, volunteer at an orphanage, read to old people, stop bringing the property values down in the neighbourhood, show people more respect and road rage less.

12. I'm going to have to stop making unattainable lists of things I mean to accomplish.

Brought to you by Anna's Listless Mondays, whose button I can't get to work today, and it's driving me batshit.

(Okay, there it is. Phew.)

7 reasons I don't really feel like blogging lately

1. It's the holidays and there's all this great food and baking and yummy caloriffic stuff, and it all makes me very logey (I would say bloggy, if bloggy meant what it sounds like it should mean, instead of what we know it to mean, which is adv., "having to do with blogging"). It's hard to be all thinky after that, unless said thinkiness occurs during the commercial break. Okay, I'm responsible for a lot of the baking myself, but that's just another reason I don't have the mental energy to blog; I used it all while baking stuff.*

2. My kid isn't doing anything great these days.

Okay, fine, yeah yeah, everything he does is inspirational and amazing and cue the symphony orchestra. It's just not anything I feel like writing about.

3. My witch elf on Warhammer, Stabitha, is really quite naked. Like NAY. KED. I need to get her something to wear. I suppose I could have picked one of the character types with more of a penchant for garments, but she's good wholesome stabby fun. It's just a little cringe-worthy to watch her take on lions and bows & arrows (oh my!) wearing only a bra and a loincloth.

Oh, well, and she has a belt. So, y'know, she's halfway there.

4. My place of employment shuts down between Christmas and New Years, and seeing as I was on maternity leave for 3/4 of the year, I don't have any holidays coming to me. So I'm trying to cram in extra hours where extra hours don't want to fit (when what I REALLY want to do is tell them to cram the extra hours where the sun don't shine) so I can be paid for that week and we don't have a starvey, starvey Christmas.

5. Other people's high-emotion holidays make me tired. No, really. I'm like an energy vampire in reverse or something.

6. It is FUCKING FREEZING HERE this week. It's hard to think past your next sweater.

6. Did I mention the 5 extra pounds I'm now lugging around due to Christmas calorie carnage?

*This item has possibly the most made-up words I've ever used in one sentence. You're welcome.

5 lists I considered listing while I was listing THIS list

1. "Reasons why you should go check out my guest post today at Half As Good As You". Except that I thought it was kind of double-dipping to use another blog's meme to send you over to a third blog. Plus you might not come back. Anyway, all I could come up with for reasons was a) it's a post about how I let someone hook me up to electrical current and b)I'm asking really nicely.

2. "Christmas gifts I wanted to buy for my one-year-old but they were out of stock". But there are only two, Baby's First MP3 and a Melissa & Doug pull toy, and two does not a list make. I guess I could have added a Wii Fit, but that's not exactly for the kid.

3. "10 Ways to make Christmas better". That was actually a suggestion from my hubby, and I considered it (honest, honey), but it doesn't really lend itself to being entertaining. I just don't have the moral fibre required to write a whole post about volunteering in a soup kitchen or making peace with your extended family. Stealing the world's supply of Christmas carols, letting Santa get eaten by zombies, or converting to Judaism, sure. But it's probably only me that thinks those would make Christmas better.

4. "Ways to de-stress your holidays". The last list idea spun into that one, but again, too serious. I was mostly considering it because I like luring in innocent google searchers and SCARING THE CRAP OUT OF THEM.

5. "A list of a bunch of half-assed list ideas". Oh...right. That's the one I went with.

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73 things I want to do before I die

I found this in one of my old sketchbooks. I remembered it existed, but I haven't looked at it in a LONG time. I wrote it in university, and I've accomplished a few, but it's a pretty sad ratio considering my advanced age. So I'm posting it here in the hopes that you guys will hold me accountable.

1. Visit Scotland
2. Grow a garden Two years in a row now!
3. Get my degree
4. Learn to play guitar properly
5. Skydive
6. Rock climb (on real rocks)
7. Get a dog (I should have specified a SANE dog.)
8. Own land
9. See the pyramids
10. Write a novel It's short, but it's written
11. Learn to blow glass
12. Visit NZ again
13. Learn Spanish
14. Learn Italian
15. Learn Japanese
16. Ride a gondola (the boat kind...not the mountain kind)
17. See the Parthenon
18. See the Louvre
19. Work for myself (and support myself doing it)
20. Sell a piece I'm proud of to someone I don't know (I meant an art piece...sickos)
21. Have my own gallery show
22. Learn to snowboard
23. Learn to 'sideways stop' on hockey skates (without falling on my ass)
24. Learn a martial art
25. Learn sign language
26. Swim naked at a tropical beach
27. Learn to ride a motorbike
28 Drive across Canada
29. Visit the East coast
30. Have horses
31. Play paintball
32. Play in a band
33. Teach a class
34. Go scuba diving
35. Swim with dolphins (I'm pretty sure they were laughing at me, but I did it)
36. See a ghost
37. Organize all my photographs
38. Read all the classics
39. See one of Rothko's paintings
40. Visit the catacombs in Europe
41. Hike in a rainforest
42. Fire a handgun
43. Learn archery
44. Trace my family tree
45. Visit Italy
46. Work overseas
47. Learn to fiddle
48. Find a way to show my parents how much I really appreciate them.
49. Get a tattoo
50. Get my nose pierced
51. Be with someone I would marry (but don't need to)
52. Bungee jump
53. Have a psychic experience
54. Go waterskiing
55. Go to Burning Man
56. Be an extra (I ended up doing this a LOT, and it's not as fun as you'd think)
57. Ride in a hot air balloon
58. Go to Disneyland with my friends with my son
59. See the lava flow in Hawaii
60. Make a book Coincidentally...last weekend!
61. Sing in a gospel choir
62. See the Mayan/Aztec temples.
63. Visit the Purdy's chocolate factory
64. Learn to whistle really loud (I have been trying, and failing, at this for years)
65. Sleep on a foreign beach
66. Have my own darkroom
67. Take a basic mechanic's class
68. Learn to play poker
69. Go whitewater kayaking
70. Go surfing
71. Go spelunking

And I'm officially adding:

72. Get published (like, by someone else, not lulu.com)
73. Escort my child(ren) through to their teens with all limbs & eyes intact

So what's on YOUR list? And what do you guys think I should tackle first?

Also, if there are any sponsors reading this that want to help me out with any of these - say, the trip to Italy - I'm down with that. Because I'm a total money whore. I'll wear your logo all around Europe like I'm a friggin' NASCAR driver. Plus, I have the fake sincerity thing down to a science. Just puttin' that out there.

8 Laws My House Should Have, and 2 it has in spades

8 Laws My Household SHOULD Have

1. All Dogs Everybody should perform if they want their dinner. Seriously - if you want to get fed, you'd better entertain me. Or dust something. Either way.

2. The world does not revolve around the kitchen table. By which I mean, there is no gravitational pull keeping dishes there. They can move the TWO FEET to the kitchen sink, especially when they're empty, since they're lighter.

3. Nobody should wake up before 8am, unless they want to, which is just silly, because nobody in this house wants to. Nobody above 4 feet tall, anyway.

4. The house should be kept warm enough to render unnecessary the usage of pants. Even for guests. Y'know, if that's how they roll.

5. All dogs should respect the napping hour(s), and shut their great drooling gob, if they know what's good for them.

6. All baking and cooking should surrender unto my will, and turn out well. Not turn out like big slimy turds. That are burnt.

7. Respect the sanctity of blogging. That means no small grimy fingers on the keyboard while I'm ty
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8. No discussing of politics, Heroclix, or inlaws prior to 2 3 cups of coffee. They make my head hurt.

And 2 Laws My House Has More Than Enough Of, Thankyouverymuch

1. Murphy's Law. Because you know that the minute the kidlet goes down for a much-needed nap, a delivery guy will show up, which will set the dog barking, which will wake the kid up, and then he won't nap for the rest of the day, which will make you tired and frazzled and you'll do things like spill your coffee on the computer and put the remote control in the fridge, EVERY SINGLE TIME. And you know that the second you get caught up on your laundry the washing machine will crap out, and hubby will produce an extra load of laundry from a friend of his who brought it over because his machine crapped out, and you'll go two weeks without laundry and be reduced to wearing old T-shirts that smell vaguely of a gym that's not even in business anymore, EVERY SINGLE TIME. It's like it's a Law or something.

2. Murphy's Toddlers Laws, especially "A child's favorite one day is never the favorite the next day", particularly when it comes to food.

Posted in participation with Listless Mondays at abdpbt. Check her out for more lists!
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9 things I covet, or, oh hey is it Christmas time already?

What? This isn't an entirely self-serving list. How else are you going to know what to buy all the OTHER artsy, comic-obsessed, gaming nerd moms on your list?

1. The Bose SoundDock for iPods: Okay, really I just need some KIND of speaker for my iPod. But if I'm coveting, I should go all out, right? I'm tired of having all these really great songs on my iPod and only listening to them at the gym. I should be able to belt them out in my living room and assault my son's ears serenade my entire neighbourhood!

2. I love my Wacom Bamboo pen tablet, but what I really really want is the Cintiq. To be able to draw right on the screen? Droooooool.

Or, y'know, paper works like that too. But not quite as fun.

3. A laptop bag like this one from glorydaze on etsy, or the lapsac. Or anything like that, that doesn't make me look like I inherited my father's industrial black vinyl laptop bag. If it could double as a cute diaper bag, that would rock even further. I just want to look cool as I take out my laptop, and then take out a sippy cup and a baggie of cheerios. Is that so much to ask??

4. Comments. Lots and lots of comments. Seriously, people, I'm barely holding it together here and comments are the glue.

5. A huge wall decal of zombies. Okay, no, not really. We've been over my fear of zombies. But if I wasn't completely askeered of the living dead, I would think it was pretty cool.

Maybe in the baby's room.

6. A new bathrobe, to replace the one I bought on sale 5 years ago at a La Senza outlet, on sale because it was missing the sash. The one that two years ago, the dog chewed the pockets out of because she thought she smelled a molecule of dog biscuit (and I've been forgetting and trying to put things in the pockets that no longer exist ever since). Do you think she would refrain from chewing a new one if I bought her her own?

7. Two words: SPA. DAY.

8. This hoodie from thinkgeek.com. I know, I'm a loser. I just really REALLY want to wear it to work one day. Or possibly every day. I used to have the t-shirt but, uh....it doesn't fit anymore.

9. The Wii Fit. Well, I've been coveting one of these for a while, they're just elusive round these parts. Must be shy. If I find one, it's automatically an early Christmas present to ME.

What do YOU covet?

Sources: wecovet.com, thinkgeek.com, bedbathandbeyond.com, nintendo.com, wacom.com, bose.com

Posted in conjunction with abdpdbt's Listless Mondays:
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6 Things I probably should be doing instead of blogging

1. Working. I should probably be wading through the massive pile of CRAP my boss left me before he jetted off to golf in Phoenix for a week. "We'll get you a laptop" they said. "You can work when you have time" they said. Bah.

2. Writing and mailing the thank-you cards for my son's birthday that was, oh, OVER A MONTH AGO. Yeah, I suck. But he signed them, so he sucks too.

I know he's only one year old. Shut up.

3. Drawing the next superheroine of the week, which is, um, a little overdue. Sorry, FoN. When is someone going to perfect a machine that just takes the images right out of your head and puts them on paper (or PhotoShop)? I'd be first in line for that. Unless there was surgery involved, because that means doctors (unless it's the kind of surgery that can be performed by a bartender with a pickle fork, then I'm still game). Or if you have no control over what images it pulls, because there's some shit in my head that neither man NOR machine should be subjected to.

4. Drawing something for the next issue of a collaborative comic I collaborate on, called Valuable Comics. The theme for the next issue is "Issues". That's right, it's the "Issues issue". I know I've got issues but...can I make a comic about them??

5. If you followed that last link, the corollary of #4 is "Update the Valuable Comics webpage". It's very pathetic and somehow I've been charged with breathing new life into it. I think I may have volunteered. Why the fuck did I do that?? Oh right...there was beer at our last meeting.

Always blame it on the beer.

6. Tidying my house. Because the cleaners are coming on Tuesday, and you've always got to clean before they clean.

...why is that, exactly?

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11 Reasons I couldn't work out this week

This week I'm combining my abdpbt list with my weekly post for Club HASAY. Because I'm trying to multitask and find more time to work out. Um, yes, that's it.

10 EXCUSES REASONS I COULDN'T WORK OUT THIS WEEK

1. There was an angry moose on my doorstep. Okay, no, not an actual moose. But my neighbours were out front and I didn't want them to see me all scraggy in my gym clothes.

2. My son timed his nap wrong. I can't wake him up to go to the gym right? I could have gone before, but they don't have kiddie care then, and I can't go after, because I have to go to work.

3. It was too cold out.

4. It was too hot out. (Um, okay, well, not really. It's November. It was too hot inside?)

5. My gym clothes were in the wash. I have no idea WHY, since I haven't used them, but that's where they were. Honest.

6. I ran out of coffee. C'mon, I can't even get dressed without being properly caffeinated, never mind operate a treadmill.

7. I ate like, 28 mini chocolate bars, and half a pizza. What's the point?

8. My son woke up 4 times last night, and I think it's better for my mental health if I have a nap instead.

9. I still fit into my jeans, right?

10. I didn't shower yesterday, so I'm pretty gross, but I can't shower before going to the gym, because that's just silly.

11. I walked around the mall already today.

So yeah...pretty sluggish out of the gate. I'll be better this week. As soon as I get around to doing laundry.

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7 observations about the Neil Young concert the other night

1. Neil Young can still rock out for two solid hours, but apparently that's his limit, because after that he kinda phones it in (one song encore, Beatles cover. Because he's short on material?). But hey, he's 60, I hope I can rock out for two hours when I'm sixty. Hell, I'll be happy if I can stand for two hours when I'm sixty.

2. The median age at this concert made me feel an awful lot younger than at the Alice Cooper concert. Even though not nearly as many of them ducked out before the encore. Or maybe they did, they just couldn't move that fast.

3. Pot still smells good.

4. I know I'm not 'super cougar' status, because apparently there's a requisite uniform of entirely monochromatic clothing, some of which should be leather (but not all, because that would just be tacky). If I start dressing in shiny wine-coloured leggings, a wine leather jacket, wine-coloured boots, and a wine purse, I'll know I've Arrived.

5. There was an artist on stage, at the back, painting for almost the entire concert, completely oblivious to the raging rock concert going on around him. Nobody ever explained what the hell he was doing, but if he's getting paid? I want THAT gig.

(Okay, I just googled it. Apparently you have to be a roadie for 20 years first. I'm not so keen now).

6. You know it's an old-school crowd when they actually hold up lighters, not cel phones.

7. Even Neil knows most of Neil's songs sound the same.

For more lists head over to abdpbt...
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9 things I'm thankful for

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I thought I'd join in the Monday listiness over at abdpbt, since I was going to write a list of things I'm thankful for, since it's Thanksgiving (here in Canada. Unlike you Americans who procrastinate until like, 3 weeks before Christmas. I can't even fit in a sneeze 3 weeks before Christmas, let alone a whole holiday. Oh, don't tell me there's a real reason for that date. That's just an excuse).

1. My husband and son. Well, duh. This one is kind of a given. It's like remembering to thank the Academy, or your mother on your wedding day. Of course I'm thankful for my family. Most of the time. When they're not whining, or wiping snot on me (no, I'm not excluding hubby from that category...it's a long story), or interrupting my blogging time. So, yeah. I think that still adds up to 'most' of the time.

2. Running water. You probably don't think about that much, but I spent a day without it once, and it was literally shitty. I have a new appreciation.

3. My metabolism that lets me eat pretty much whatever I want. Except oh, um, wait, I don't have that anymore. But let me tell you, if I DID still have it, I would totally be thankful for it.

4. Ziploc bags and post-it notes. Possibly two of the greatest inventions ever. How did anybody ever half-assed organize anything before they came along?

5. Curbside recycling. Nothing makes you feel as good about throwing crap out as having someone come and take it away to be "recycled". Yes...recycled. That's it.

6. Blogging memes and theme days that distract from the fact I'm not doing any actual writing. I'd say that one is pretty self-explanatory.

7. Shopping buddies who are hipper than me. "Hipper", or "more hip"? See, I don't even know. But without these people, I would have fallen into a sweat-pants-and-comic-tshirt frump a long time ago. Not that I don't look hot in that, of course.

7. My ability to count. It has served me well.

8. People who are more creative and talented than me. Because they inspire me to take it to the next level, and light the proverbial fire under my own ass. What? I needed to have at least one semi-serious thing in here. Shut up.