I said I would, and I did. I somehow cobbled together a half-assed plot out of "space" "rockband" and "orphan", and I even did it when I would said I would, and then I started writing.

So, um. The first chapter is up there, on the right, under "Next Big Thing". 

(I'm just calling it that because of my habit of moving on to the Next Big Thing, not because I actually think it's going to be the Next Big Thing. What I think it's going to be is mediocre but hopefully somewhat entertaining. Aim high!)

You can read it if you want. Please criticize, that's why I'm doing this. (But I've already written the outline and drafts of the next two chapters, so if your criticism is "Why the fuck is he in a rock band?" I'm probably going to ignore you.)

Possibly exercise is not in my best interest, after all. Or yours.

I realized the other day: my lack of bloggy mojo directly correlates with my lack of exercising.  I do some of my best thinking while I'm walking or running. 

(I made that realization while I was walking to the bank.  See?)

For instance, during that same walk, after a while I started to think about blogging. 

What?  I'm focussed  professional lame.

Anyway, I started to wonder about some of the more popular bloggers and what they have in common.  Other than the obvious sharp wit and clever turn of phrase, that is.  And then I realized - advice columns. They have advice columns!  They win friends and influence people!  I should totally have an advice column.

I promise to wield my power wisely.  At the most I might accidentally convince someone that slathering mayonnaise in her hair is a great idea.

(Maybe it is, actually.  I should look that up.)

What do you think?  I'm a fucking genius?  Worst idea ever?  Don't care, because OMG nobody else will listen to me pleeeeaaassseee help?

I think you should submit your questions via that little comment form thingie over on the right, serious or not ('not' is preferable.  I don't want to start off trying to advise someone on whether or not to unplug their father-in-law from life support, you guys).  And I shall advise!  It will be grand!

What could possibly go wrong??