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    Saturday
    Sep202008

    Well I gotta post SOMETHING

    I just want to give an extra nudge to all you fellow warped-minded heathens out there - go visit the 'blog of the day', Magick Sandwich.

    Especially scroll down to the 'Bad Parents Texas Chainsaw Massacre' video, because that is TOTALLY SOMETHING I WOULD DO. I'd link to it myself, but hello? Lazy.

    Thursday
    Sep182008

    Next you'll tell me the Singapore Sling came out of LA

    "Do you know what they're selling at the grocery store already? Mandarin oranges!!"

    "Um...so?"

    "It's so early! It's the damn Chinese producing them."

    "Because they're Mandarin oranges."

    "They just have to infiltrate every market, I swear..."

    "But....they're Mandarin oranges."

    "Well, they never produced them before."

    "Who the hell named them 'Mandarin' oranges, then?"

    "...I don't know."

    Tuesday
    Sep162008

    So you bring me THIS??

    While I'm doing mindless things like having sex walking with my son in the stroller, I like to let my Brain out to wander around. And hopefully dig up some good blog posts. Unfortunately, while searching for good produce in the Garden of Blog Posts, my Brain only seems to pick from the "If THIS happened, you could post THIS" patch. Like the shining nugget of "If you were caught blogging about work at work you could write this" and the juicy goodness of "If Xander slept through the night you could exclaim this". And the rich, drippy-with-irony post "If everybody died from a plague and there was nobody around to read it you could post this" post. And the slightly smelly, "If you were working for Pay Per Post and they asked you to review something totally inappropriate you could write this".

    (Actually, it sounds like that last one is totally plausible, all I would have to do is sign up. Which I won't, because I'm lazy).

    So I am a little frustrated with this output and I told my Brain so.

    "Well that's what you pay me for." replied my Brain.

    "I don't pay you. And I don't even think YOU could dream up a way that would work out."

    "Figure of speech, dumbass. I'm supposed to be imaginative. I'm imagining."

    "Yeah, but those don't work for me. I need something I can post today. Are there other bloggers in the Garden?"

    "Of course, all the time. Some of them are gathering wool, for some reason."

    "Oooohhh kay. Taking my lousy metaphor a little far."

    "Sorry." apologized my Brain. Which is a fairly odd sensation.

    "Well, could you just, y'know, club one over the head and take his post?"

    "..."

    "It's not really plagiarism if he hasn't properly harvested it, right? Just pick a good one."

    "...do I even know you?"

    Obviously not.

    Monday
    Sep152008

    Like being gnawed on by guppies

    A while ago Force of Nature's teenage daughter asked me,

    "You still draw superheros and villains right? Because my friend and I were thinking, we were just talking, and we thought that wouldn't it funny, you know, if the villain were a lot of little T-Rexes? You know, like thousands of T-Rexes with their little front arms and they were all saying 'Rawr'. You know, just 'rawr'. Wouldn't that be funny? Huh? If the villain were T-Rexes?? Could you draw that for me? Or for my friend? Because she'd think that was funny. Wouldn't that be funny?"

    Um...perhaps, if you're a 15 year old girl on crack. Which I seem to remember specifically recommending against.

    But for some reason the idea of many tiny T-Rexes appealed (must be the 15 year old girl in me). And I liked the way the drawing turned out.

    So, while not exactly a superhero, this week's drawing is for FoN's daughter and her friend, whoever you are. Don't let the T-Rexes get you down.

    Friday
    Sep122008

    An addendum to lollygagging

    Okay, I had an additional mental seizure thought. What if the atom smasher DOES make a black hole? And the whole planet doesn't get obliterated, but just ends up like the Event Horizon?

    We might all go insane and enter into hellish scenes of depravity with blood, people eating their own arms, and barbed wire. (Which, as an aside, I've always had a bit of a problem with. Why do scenes from hell always feature barbed wire? It isn't intrinsically evil. I mean, COWS live with it, and they seem fairly content). And bad acting, and dramatic music that means you should be shocked every time someone opens their eyes and doesn't have any eyeballs, even though that happened just yesterday at coffee, and the day before at the PTA meeting.

    Gah. What's the furthest point from the France/Switzerland border? Looks like Fiji.

    We're moving to Fiji!