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    Forks and the popularity of procreating

    So, yup, that time of week...again. I'd assume that you guys are sick of listening to the arbitrary crap my brain spews forth, except that you keep coming by, and well, what's a blog for after all? I guzzled all the had some guests drink all my wine, so I can't assure you of the weirdness quality of today's Random Thoughts, but I bet if you head over to the Neurotic Mom she's got something better.

    Er, wait. I mean after you read mine. AFTER!


    I wonder if...I mean, do you think...sometimes I...

    CRAP. I have a Christmas song stuck in my head. Already? It's the first of December! It's not letting any random thoughts in. Grrr. I won't tell you what song it is, lest it gets stuck in your head too, but it rhymes with "Pringles Smell". And then it segues into 'Elmo's World', because if you've heard that a thousand times like I have, they're pretty much the same thing. Okay, I'm going to go stick a fork in my eye, that should get rid of it. Hang on.


    Kay. It's gone. I'd better get these random thoughts out before the ambulance comes.

    I wonder what your online avatars think about when you log out of your game and they're condemned to the empty void of offline-ness? Do they just stand there holding their sword and twiddling their thumbs? Do you think they angrily plot your demise for leaving them there, and that's why they're so happy to hack through virtual enemies when you log back in?

    I read yet another post a while ago about the whole 'Motrin' thing and how the Motrin ad implied that babies are just the latest accessory. I mean, that's outrageous. Except that...they kind of ARE. I mean, not to me or anybody I know personally, but it sure seems like it's suddenly overly socially acceptable to be pregnant or somebody's mom. All the Hollywood celebs are doing it - if THAT doesn't say 'accessory' I don't know what does - and I see babies EVERYWHERE now. The month before I had Xander was an all-time record number of births at that hospital. And if you do a quick google search, the number of births per capita is on the rise in pretty much every Western country.

    I bet it's a conspiracy. We're all being geared through media and marketing towards producing as many babies as we can. And then to buy swanky accessories for our little accessories. Who will then grow up and spawn more tiny consumers to buy accessories for.

    I have no idea who's behind it, but I'm thinking it's Disney. If I suddenly go missing, I expect you guys to stage a full-on raid of the Disney corporate office.

    Okay, that last tangent was pretty deep...for me. I better start thinking about cake.


    I'm hungry.

    Crap, Casey probably read that. Um...I meant..."better hit the treadmill". Yep. That's what I meant.

    Before I dig myself too deep (or Disney does it for me), I'd better stop. Got a collection of off-the-top-of-your-head thoughts you want to share? Or suddenly feel inspired to make a bunch up? Grab the button, slap it up there, and start rambling. And then leave me a comment so I can link ya up.

    Jumping on the bandwagon of scattered thoughts this week are:

    1. Heddy over at Maternal Spark

    2. Erin Tales over at The Mom Buzz

    3. ArtSnark - check out her Etsy shop, it rocks!

    4. Michelle at Michelle's Blog

    5. Julie at the Cool Mom Guide

    6. Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie

    7. Pauvre Plume


    Lighting the Proverbial Fire

    So I think I mentioned that lately I've been in a bit of a creative funk. Luckily for me, my mom reminded my sorry ass that she had signed us both up for a weekend workshop on bookmaking. I got to leave the spawn with Grandpa (Grandpa, nervously watching X waddle around with precarious balance: "He's not going to fall and land on his head or anything, is he?" Me: "Um...yeah, pretty much constantly. Just keep him away from sharp objects, you'll be fine.") and spend a glorious 6-1/2 hours at a fun workshop hosted by Martha Cole. There's nothing quite like spending the day surrounded by enthusiastic little old ladies women of vintage to get your creative juices flowing.

    (My mother probably just wrote me out of the will there).

    Plus, I finally have something to post for Maternal Spark's Monday Muse! Yeah!


    Is there such thing as a graphicnovelworm?

    I was tagged by Dad to Two for the 'Bookworm' meme. The rules are:

    1. Grab the nearest book.
    2. Open the book to page 56.
    3. Find the fifth sentence.
    4. Post the text of the next two to five sentences.
    5. Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book or the intellectual one. Pick the Closest.
    6. Tag five people to do the same.

    Since most of the books to my right sport such insightful prose as "Dinosaur ROAR!" and are amputated at about page 10, I'll lean to my left...The first book in that direction is actually a graphic novel, but that counts, right?

    "That's why I'm going to Australia to find out for sure."
    "The hell you are! Yorick Brown, you may very well be the last man on earth! You have a responsibility to the world now!"

    So...lazy Sunday post. Ya'll get like, a million nerd points if you know what that's from.

    And I'm going to tag:
    SavvySuzie (she may out-nerd me)
    Kelly at Per Se (dude, school texts don't count)
    Julie at the Cool Mom Guide (what DO cool moms read? Cause I'm not one)
    and Pauvre Plume (cause I might look like I have smart friends).


    We're gonna need a bigger boat

    I haven't written a post in a while that wasn't a meme, a theme, or an award acceptance. Because, well, I've been seriously lacking in inspiration. I have been a non-participant in Maternal Spark's Monday Muse for a while, not because I've been busy writing lists, but because I've been feeling totally without a muse.

    And here is my shameful little secret - often, most of the time in fact, I need someone to give me an idea. Not just 'inspiration' - a friggin' IDEA. Even if said idea just becomes a launching point, I need somewhere to start. A project. A theme. A fully-formed, totally realized, clever-ass idea. I mean, it didn't even occur to me to start a blog until someone else said, "Hey, why don't you have a blog?". And look how THAT turned out.

    Um...okay, wait, that's a bad example. Never mind.

    Anyway, sometimes, when it comes to writing, I just go to a website like this one and GET an idea (oddly, there are far fewer websites that give you ideas for painting or developed concepts on which you can base your grad show in ceramics). Today, for instance, I pressed the button and got this:

    "What's so great about being stiff? Write a story or memory whose title would contain the word 'starch.'"

    What the...? Are you kidding me? You want me to write about...STARCH?

    Okay, that sucks. I think I'm going to need more help than that.

    Actually...fuck it. I'm going to go play video games.


    In which I alienate a lot of people

    It's that time again! Time to assault you poor people with whatever is rattling around in my head - and time for you to assault me back! Got a bunch of fragmentary musings that aren't ready to be a whole post yet? Grab the button, glue 'em together with what I like to call this 'theme', and leave a comment or shoot me an email so I can link you up. I'm expecting a big turnout this week since we got a shout-out from Erin of The Mom Buzz, who does a weekly flyaround of blogosphere happenings over at Ohana Mama. And of course The Neurotic Mom is hosting with me, so check her out too!

    And my mental bits n' bobs for the week are...

    When the Beatles said they were "bigger than Jesus", do you think they meant they were bigger...y'know...down there?

    I probably just alienated a bunch of people. It's probably better to do it talking about Jesus' nether regions, than boring them to tears with a long-winded rant about how the character classes in Warhammer are way more innovative and interesting to play than the boring old knockoffs in World of Warcraft.

    The character classes in Warhammer are way more innovative and interesting to play than the boring old knockoffs in World of Warcraft.

    I probably just offended some WoW players.

    I wonder if anybody is still reading. Maybe my mom. Even if she's confused.

    I wonder why this blog, in which I regularly ruminate on things like cat meat and zombies, only gets boring google searches of the "mom saves the day" and "whimsical thoughts" variety, whereas my relatively benign parenting blog gets weirdos googling "bunny busting" and "kitchen implements with the letter to".

    I don't even know what "bunny busting" is.

    And if you have to google "whimsical thoughts", they're probably not that whimsical anymore.

    Your turn! Grab the button - and randomize!

    And the hopelessly incoherent for the week are:

    1. Michelle at Michelle's Blog

    2. Julie at Cool Mom Guide

    3. FoN at Kids and Daiquiris (yeah, that's right baby, she finally let me link to it)

    4. Becky at Suburban Matron

    5. PauvrePlume at Je ne suis qu'une pauvre plume