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    « Jesus Snail | Main | I hereby Resolve to resolve something. Next year. »

    Things I keep doing for no apparent gain

    1. Buying green onions. I don't eat green onions. Nobody in our family eats green onions. Yet, I keep buying them on the off chance we're going to make something that requires green onions.

    2. Taking the stubs of the green onions and putting them in water so that they will grow again, after they've gone all gross and mushy because we haven't used them. Then they grow and...become all gross and mushy. 

    3. Checking in on Foursquare. I don't know. What's the point of this? I don't have anyone on there to really compete with. It's pretty boring. And yet...I keep doing it.

    4. Freezing chicken carcasses. My intention is to make chicken stock. I mean, I did that once. Now there are approximately 37 freezer-burnt chicken carcasses awaiting the next time I am possessed by Suzy Homemaker. I exorcised that bitch, this seems unlikely to come to pass.  (See also: freezing old bananas.)

    5. Charging and/or synching my iPod. I don't seem to use my iPod. I use my phone for tunes and my tablet for other stuff. I charge the iPod, leave it lying around, it dies, I charge it. It's the circle of life.

    Everything else I do seems to produce some net gain for me (even the ones that don't feel like they do, like laundry and feeding the dog).

    I guess that's not such a bad ratio.


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    Reader Comments (9)

    Ha..I have similar situations. Rally on

    March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSueAnn

    I froze bananas for the first time ever a few months ago. Now I've got some incredibly hard fruit that could be used as a weapon, I guess? Is that what we're supposed to do with them? F*ck, was I supposed to peel them first? Absolutely serious question. I just realized I should have peeled them because you posted about *your* bananas. GAIN.

    March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPerpetualBreadcrumbs

    Girl, we could get together and start some kind of feed the world program with chicken carcasses (carci?) and frozen bananas. I could also throw in a ham one or two.

    March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMel

    Through the green onions in a crockpot with a carcass and some water. It's a 2 for 1! Don't do add the banana though. Eating habits in my family make me nuts.
    Day 1: We love green grapes! Buy green grapes mommy.
    Day 5: We've gone through a pound of grapes today alone.
    Day 9: I've started to buy in bulk.
    Day 9.5: One of the kids suddenly realizes there's a tiny brown spot where it connects to the vine. Grapes are bad, mommy, we don't want grapes! Mommy tells child that it's okay, it's the grape's belly button. (In my defense, it's true! Hubs gives me a big WTF look, knowing this won't end well.)
    Day 10: Children refuse all food that doesn't come out of a box.

    At least they'll have something to tell their therapists.

    March 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSylvia

    I've seen regrowing green onions on Pinterest, but really...what's the point when I can go buy more green onions? They get all gross and mushy in my fridge, too.

    March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinny Marie

    I am totally stealing this for a Spin Cycle. I may tweak the title.

    Are the green onions really supposed to grow? I used to always do the avocado seed in water thing, and the same thing usually happened, the water would get nasty and brown. Yuk.

    March 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGretchen

    Yogurt is my green onions. I know there are so many incredible awesome things I *could* do with plain yogurt. Strain it and make greek yogurt. Put it in fruit smoothies. Use it as sour cream. Slather it on my face. I never even open the container. And yet I keep buying it.

    You know as soon as you vow never to buy green onions again you're going to make a recipe that calls for them. Just the way my next recipe will call for yogurt. And then we'll weep and gnash our teeth. And then probably go buy some green onions or yogurt.

    March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNicki

    I have so many frozen bananas in my freezer it is not even funny. About once a year I take em al out and make banana nut muffins.....and I eat 2 or 3 of them, then throw the rest away....WHY i couldn't just NOT buy bananas in the first place I don't know. I think something is instilled in us as little kids that we NEED bananas...and then we feel guilty about not eating them, so someone figured out how to hoard them semi-permanently....

    March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSSP

    September 30, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbrao

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