Jesus Snail

A while back we bought two of those snails for the 5-year-old's fish tank. You know, the kind that eat the algae so you can be lazy and never clean the fish tank? Anyway, they cleaned the tank all spiffy and then promptly keeled over and died. Because I'm lazy (see previous buying-of-snails-to-avoid-cleaning-the-fish-tank statement) and my child is very watchful of my activities in his room, I didn't quite get around to scooping them out and flushing them to Fishy Heaven. A few days later I had this text conversation with Alfred:

Me: Holy shit, one of these snails just rose from the dead!

Alfred: ?

Me: I'm going to name him Jesus.

Alfred: Why not Zombie Snail?

Me: "Aaaah! It's eating my brains! Slowly! Vverrrrry slooowwwwllly!"

Me: Doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Alfred: Fair enough.

Me: If the other one ressurrects, we can name HIM Zombie Snail. This one is Jesus.

Alfred: Please don't tell my mother we're having this conversation.

Me: I'm not promising anything.


(In retrospect, the snails probably play dead when their food supply runs out and let the "current" carry them somewhere else. Although the second snail never did rise from its watery grave.)

(It's still in there though. I think the fish ate it.)

(Fish are so weird.)