This is why I don't socialize often

This week is full of Lunches. Does this happen to you? You can go for a month just eating your salad in the lunch room or occasionally popping out to the mall, and then all of a sudden all the "we should do lunch!" conversations you've had in the last few weeks align like the stars and you're booked solid.

Although, my lunch date yesterday was with my Mom, so I'm not sure if that earns me popularity points. But she did bring me presents - some random stuff from my Grandma's house, which everybody has been spending the past 6 months cleaning and organizing.

(My grandma lived in a 5-bedroom, 4-level split for over 50 years, the last 40 of them by herself, before going to a home. Why the hell would she throw stuff out? She had closet space to beat the band.)

The bag had some tea (unopened), a couple of christmas ornaments, and what looked like a dead squirrel.

"Um." I pointed to it. My mom isn't in the habit of gifting me with dead squirrels, although since she's basically an older version of me I wouldn't put it past her.

"Um, yes. We found that. Your grandma still had it." 

I inspected it more closely and realized what it was. My hair. From when I was 9 years old and decided to chop it all off. My grandma was so distraught at the thought of her only granddaughter cutting her long locks that she asked to keep it.

Probably nobody thought she would keep it for THIRTY YEARS.

 

(The note says: "Nov 10 - 1983, Keely's ponytail after having her hair cut she saved it for me". Then she initialed it. I'm not sure who exactly she was keeping a record for, but it's kind of charming, in a "one day this will all be dust in the wind so better write it down" kind of way.)

"Why would you think I'd want it?" I asked mom.

"I don't know, I didn't know what else to do with it," she replied.

(Well, neither do I. Does anybody know if Locks of Love accepts 30-year-old hair?)

The dead squirrel sat on the chair next to me until the conclusion of our viet-thai food lunch, at which point my fortune cookie told me, "That recurring dream you keep having? It is your destiny."

I only have one recurring dream. It's the one about the zombie apocalypse. 

So yeah. Here's hoping tomorrow's lunch date is less...weird.

What's on your agenda?