Too bad nobody in marketing ever asks me

I've been sick for a few days, as is customary at this time of year. When I was about halfway through the industrial-sized bag of Halls, I realized that there were tiny slogans printed on the wrappers. Things like, "Nothing you can't handle" and "Be unstoppable" and "Don't try harder, DO harder!".

(What does that even mean?)

While I appreciate my pseudo-medication essentially telling me I'm being a big whiner and to suck it up, what I would appreciate more when I am sick is a little comfort. Possibly wrappers that say things like, "I've called your mom, she's on her way" and "You're clearly ill, it's totally okay to stay at home with a hot water bottle and stream an entire season of Doctor Who on Netflix". 

Or even, "I heard that cute guy in Accounting thinks crusty noses and used kleenexes are totally hot."

Is that so much to ask? Cut me some slack - I'm sick, you know.