A plea
Wednesday, August 15, 2012 at 7:58PM Dear Amazon/Kobo/Everybody I know,
Please stop recommending Fifty Shades of Grey to me.
Now, I will be the first person to admit my reading habits are not exactly highly cultured. I read a lot of Young Adult fiction, primarily because I can only read something for approximately 36 seconds before I am interrupted by a “Mom”, or a “Hon”, or a “Holy shit the dog got out the gate and appears to be gnawing on the neighbour’s Bichon”, but also because I enjoy it. I like zombies, magic, steampunk, werewolves, all that good schlock. I have also been known to read (and re-read) pulpy horror fiction and self-help books.
And I am certainly not above reading p0rn-y romances. But I do prefer that they have a plot, that does not just involve the female lead overcoming her clumsiness and standing around moping after the guy, and I really do insist that their male lead characters are not abusive douche-waffles.
It’s just how I roll.
So while I appreciate that you are all no longer recommending Twilight, it cannot happen soon enough that the hype around this other complete bullshit of a trilogy dies down.
(Related: Dear Authors, please stop spinning your books into trilogies because they seem to be the magical formula for success. They’re not all meant to be trilogies. If your writing is good and your characters are compelling, I will keep reading to book 5 and beyond (see: the Outlander series or Game of Thrones). If your characters are boring and your phrasing makes me twitch, I will give up after the first book with no regard for whether or not I ever find out if Esther’s latent magical ability saved the world or not.)
(Also related: Dear Authors, if you are a good writer and I like your characters, labeling your first book as part of a trilogy is kind of a jerk move. You’ve basically just told me in advance that I will have to wait 3 years to find out what happens. Also that it ends, which I never want to hear about my favorite characters. Write faster.)
(Also related: I probably spend too much money on e-books.)
Keely | 11 Comments
Reader Comments (11)
I have resisted reading "Twilight" and "50 Shades of Grey" because they are just not my cup of tea.
Some of the saddess moments that I have experienced is the last page of a really good book!!!
Sigh!!
Hugs
SUeAnn
I really wish they would stop recommending them to me as well. I read about a third of the first one & the bad grammar & Grey himself so turned me off I deleted it. I get recommended 50 Shades all the time probably because I read all of Loralie James Rough Riders series, which is much better written erotica. My suggestion to authors is how about coming up with YOUR OWN ideas There are so many 50 Shades knock offs that have flooded the market. Seems like every new erotic novel features an innocent young woman and a wealthy, powerful older man teaching her the joy of submission. I find that kind of disturbing actually, thought I have no problems with BDSM.
The trilogy thing bugs me too. Some stories just can't be spun out into 3 books. One really well written book will serve an author much better than a poorly done trilogy in the long run.
Amen.
I'm glad that the books (that I love) are great and that the authors put a lot of work into them, but could they possibly put the work into the faster? (aka The Green Rider series)
1) 50 Shades of Gray can suck it. If people want to read erotica they should at least read good erotica, not shit.
2) Loved Outlander (parts of that were my shades of gray ifyaknowwhatImean,) but I believe that this series is proof that even the best books can't go on forever. Read them rabidly through about 6, then lost interest. Let it die, people, let it die.
3) Want a perfect example of the "trilogy does not equal awesome" theory? Read the Frankenstein trilogy by Koontz. Book 1=awesome, book 2=super awesome, book 3=What the shit, how stupid do you think I am you lazy fuck?
I did read the fifty shades of grey books because I was really bored. I wouldn't recommend them to anyone. The section of just emails in the third book was especially disappointing. If you want to read good d/s erotica, I'd recommend Laura Antoniou's Marketplace series. So. Much. Better.
Thank you! That booked sucked. I just didn't realize I was allowed to say anything since every other female I know OMG LOVED IT!!! Rich and good looking is not a free-pass to being a complete abusive narcissistic asshole. I hated that guy. And hated the dumb broad who took his shit even more.
I feel better now. :)
http://www.geekalerts.com/50-shades-of-gray-book/
Trust me...take a look...
Thank you SO much for this. I have absolutely ZERO interest in this 50 Shades thing. DOES. NOT. INTEREST. ME. Everybody keeps telling me that it's not really very well written, and I just think "SO WHY ARE YOU READING IT?" I have to admit though, that I have always been resistant to whatever is the latest thing. I always refused to take part in Oprah's Book Club. I guess I"m just contrary.
I am so with you. I can't imagine how they're going to make the book into a movie without it being labeled porn. Maybe subtitles? I mean, is there even a plot? I'm no prude but even I went "ew" as my friend recounted some of the scenes.
I am so with you. I love reading young adult fiction mostly because they rarely have gratuitous pornographic scenes in them. And they often do have zombies, aliens, and heaven help me PLOTS.
When I first saw 50 Shades at the book store, I hadn't heard all the hype, so I picked it up and read the blurb. And the inside jacket. And was still left wondering, "Well, but ... what is it ABOUT?" and gave it a pass. Now that I've heard more about what is it about, I'm really glad I didnt' buy it. I know a few people who are breathlessly gushing over it, but the people I respect are like, "no, just don't".