I realize I talk about derby a lot. It’s the honeymoon phase. Also, I don’t have anything to write about because I spend a lot of my time on derby-related activities. You have my permission to ignore this post.
No, not really. Read it. I’m getting pretty mean on these skates, you know.
Anyway, I have a twitter search set up for “roller derby” because I have been handed the reins of our league’s twitter account. I’ve noticed over the last few weeks that there are some general themes in what people have to say about the sport.
1. So…roller derby is for fat girls. Wow, no. Playing derby is for everybody in possession of a vagina. (And sometimes for those who aren’t so blessed, there are now men’s leagues. Men can also ref.) The difference between roller derby and, say, basketball, is that there are advantages to every body type. Heavier girls can hit harder, but they may not be as fast. Small girls can be fast but you can hit them hard. Tall girls can see over the pack. Short girls can sneak around the pack. Et cetera.
2. Roller derby is only for butch lesbians. Again…no. Wives, moms, all kinds of women play roller derby.
3. So…roller derby is for HOT lesbians. Jesus Christ, people.
4. Oh my god, my teacher plays roller derby! I see this a LOT. I suspect teachers just have a lot of aggression to work through, okay? Your hairdresser and your accountant might play roller derby too.
5. I would play roller derby if it wasn’t for…. It’s not some secret club. Just go do it, if you want to. If you’re just making excuses because you’re afraid of getting hit, I have tickets to the bout I can sell you. Don’t sit in the front row though.
6. Wow, am I ever glad I’m not a trashy roller derby girl. OMG! You are SO lucky to have avoided that. You must feel genetically superior to the rest of us who had no control over ending up here.
7. I don’t see the appeal of roller derby. That’s fine. Nobody’s perfect.
8. OMG it’s my first derby practice/OMG I’m trying out for roller derby! AWESOME. See you on the track. I will probably hit you, and then hug you.