If this is all I hate, I’m doing okay. Unfortunately it’s NOT all I hate, but it’s enough vitriol for today.

I hate GoDaddy. I hate their sexist advertising and their vaguely domineering name. I hate that they supported SOPA. I hate them.

Unfortunately, when I registered my first domain name, I didn’t know any better. Also, I’m lazy. So up until now I’ve had about 20 domain names registered with GoDaddy that I haven’t gotten around to transferring somewhere else.

Recently I had to purchase a few more, so I figured it was a good time to start anew. Transferring is super easy, the new registrar claimed. Just enter the domains you want to transfer and we’ll do all the work!

Ha.  Ha ha.

Okay, so, to transfer domains you need to have them ‘unlocked’, and you need to cancel any private registration (the add-on that makes it so people can’t see who registered a domain through WHOIS). I had 8 domains I wanted to transfer. GoDaddy told me I had to log in to Domains By Proxy in order to cancel their private registration.

However, only four of my domains were listed in DBP.

After browsing around and making absolutely certain that I didn’t miss anything in Domains by Proxy, I sent an email to GoDaddy support.

I got a confirmation email, telling me I could SAVE 15% WITH MY NEXT ORDER!

Shortly thereafter I got an actual reply.

Thanks for contacting Online Support.  It appears you were looking to review your account domain registrations.
Reply back with your four digit pin and we can review your account.

Underneath that it told me I could SAVE 15% WITH MY NEXT ORDER!

I wasn’t exactly looking to review my account domain registrations, but I replied with my pin anyway.

I got another confirmation email, telling me someone would be right with me and that I could SAVE 15% WITH MY NEXT ORDER!

Then I got another “actual” reply, which made me think that GoDaddy just employs bots and that nobody is actually reading the emails.

I understand that you are currently working on removing the privacy from your domains.  If you forget your login information, you can retrieve your customer number, retrieve your password hint, or reset your password on the DBP website.

Then it told me how to log in to the DBP website. Then it told me: You could SAVE 15% WITH YOUR NEXT ORDER!

OMFG YOU GUYS I DON’T WANT TO SAVE ANYTHING, I AM TRYING TO GET OUT OF THIS ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.

After several more, increasingly generic email replies from them, they told me to contact support at Domains By Proxy. I thought it was almost certainly a GoDaddy issue, since they were the ones that had sold me private registration for those domains, and DBP had clearly never even received them in their database. But then I noticed that Domains By Proxy is owned by…wait for it…GoDaddy, so, SURE, I’ll contact these completely fictional OTHER SUPPORT PEOPLE.

I don’t have anything better to do with my time, right?

Domains By Proxy took a couple of days to get back to me, and then they asked me for a screenshot of my DBP account while I was logged in. Even though I’d given them the account ID, and I was emailing them from the email they have on record.

I logged in to do that and, oh, look! Mysteriously, in the couple of days while they were getting back to me, all my missing domains showed up in their list. Fancy that!

So, yeah. I hate GoDaddy. And, by proxy, Domains By Proxy.

(But, oooooh, look! I could save up to 25% now!!)

 

(I was going to rant about GoDaddy anyway, but conveniently, Gretchen's Spin Cycle this week is about HATE. Go, spin. And grab the pretty button because someone awesome made it for her.)

 

Second Blooming