I have a bangover.
That is not dirty, although it sounds like it is, and I just looked it up on Urban Dictionary and it usually refers to how you feel after a night of regrettable sex, so I should probably specify that mine is a roller derby bangover. A roller derby bangover refers to the way you feel the day after a bout.
(It also usually comes with a bit of a hangover, which I guess would make it a bhangover, which sounds much more exotic, don’t you think? Because I’m all about klassy up in here. Just go with it.)
So, yes. Yesterday was my first derby game. My cherry is popped. My body is exhausted. My ass is bruised. My stomach is still churning.
(Okay, that might be the hangover part.)
Back when I announced this little endeavor of mine, Mrs. Bear said “way to kick your comfort zone’s ass!”. At the time I sort of shrugged, because I wasn’t really out of my comfort zone. Learning to skate and body-checking people is not outside of the realm of things I’ve imagined myself doing.
Doing those things in front of a thousand people, though?
That’s out of my comfort zone. I felt nauseous all day, and my game wasn’t until 9pm. I ate…very little. I visited the bathroom…quite a lot.
Then I found out I had a cheering section. A whole group of my friends, with pictures of my face, on sticks.
I know. It’s disturbing.
I’ll give you a moment to compose yourselves.
Somehow when I geared up that all fell away. I suspect my subconscious was concerned that I’d forgotten how to skate, and when I proved it wrong it fell silent. After that I just concentrated on staying upright (hard), trying to pay attention to what was going on (harder), and hitting people (hardest).
What the what whose penalty was that where’s the jammer where’s the other jammer get that chick out of my way whoops fell get back up help the jammer get the goat block the other jammer hit that chick there whoops fell who’s yelling keep yelling whose penalty was that where’s the jammer tweet tweet tweet tweet end of jam.
Our team won, which I’m not sure I had much to do with, my friends and co-workers all saw me wipe out on concrete while wearing fishnets, the event was a success and I can’t wait to do it all again.
Right after a very very long nap.