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    « Not even a Tuesday. | Main | Yay »

    The day after

    I have a bangover.

    That is not dirty, although it sounds like it is, and I just looked it up on Urban Dictionary and it usually refers to how you feel after a night of regrettable sex, so I should probably specify that mine is a roller derby  bangover. A roller derby bangover refers to the way you feel the day after a bout.

    (It also usually comes with a bit of a hangover, which I guess would make it a bhangover, which sounds much more exotic, don’t you think? Because I’m all about klassy up in here. Just go with it.)

    So, yes. Yesterday was my first derby game. My cherry is popped. My body is exhausted. My ass is bruised. My stomach is still churning.

    (Okay, that might be the hangover part.)

    Back when I announced this little endeavor of mine, Mrs. Bear said “way to kick your comfort zone’s ass!”. At the time I sort of shrugged, because I wasn’t really out of my comfort zone. Learning to skate and body-checking people is not outside of the realm of things I’ve imagined myself doing.

    Doing those things in front of a thousand people, though?

    That’s out of my comfort zone. I felt nauseous all day, and my game wasn’t until 9pm. I ate…very little. I visited the bathroom…quite a lot.

    Then I found out I had a cheering section. A whole group of my friends, with pictures of my face, on sticks.

    stabitha faces

    I know. It’s disturbing.

    I’ll give you a moment to compose yourselves.

    Somehow when I geared up that all fell away. I suspect my subconscious was concerned that I’d forgotten how to skate, and when I proved it wrong it fell silent. After that I just concentrated on staying upright (hard), trying to pay attention to what was going on (harder), and hitting people (hardest).

    What the what whose penalty was that where’s the jammer where’s the other jammer get that chick out of my way whoops fell get back up help the jammer get the goat block the other jammer hit that chick there whoops fell who’s yelling keep yelling whose penalty was that where’s the jammer tweet tweet tweet tweet end of jam.

    And repeat.

    Our team won, which I’m not sure I had much to do with, my friends and co-workers all saw me wipe out on concrete while wearing fishnets, the event was a success and I can’t wait to do it all again.

    Right after a very very long nap.

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    Reader Comments (12)

    This is total badassery! We need some video of you taking another skater out of her comfort zone by plowing her over! C'mon, let's see some pain!

    Serious congratulations to you, Keely. This is awesome.

    And I still want video. Or photos. Or play by play.

    February 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Defiant Marshmallow

    If I had your cheering section I would make them follow me around. Like, to the gym and to the grocery store and to the bar.

    Also, next time I want pictures from the match.

    February 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMonsteRawr

    too fun! My sis has been a derby girl forever - it's kinda addicting I hear. You'll have to post some more pics next time :)

    February 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArtSnark

    You are one brutal chick. I love the cheer section!

    February 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNessa Locke

    Your friends are totally awesome.

    I'm so glad you had a good time.

    February 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

    I don't think it's disturbing as much as it is RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME. But I have to ask: was it weird seeing your face screaming at you out of the corner of your eye? That's the only thing I would find disturbing.

    A Keely cheering section made up of Keely. That's soooo meta, man.

    February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNicki

    Oh man oh MAN I wish I could have been there!! You are my new hero!!

    February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGretchen

    Could I get one of those masks?

    February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaptain Dumbass

    Love that cheering section. And "bangover". What a great word.

    February 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFelechia


    February 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAimee

    Your friends rock. Congrats on winning.

    February 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterfrogmama

    You are so fucking awesome! Hero! And your friends aren't bad either.

    February 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

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