Apparently my guilt can be assuaged with garden implements.
Sunday, April 3, 2011 at 10:10PM About 7 years ago, when I moved into the last place, I put a silly postcard on the front door:
It was a bit of an inside joke – nobody in the house had a “real” job, I’d just come back from travelling for months. I still identified strongly with slacker culture.
When we moved into our current house (the one we “own”, by which I mean the one we pay the bank gobs of money for the privilege of fixing up), I moved the postcard with us. At least one of us still didn’t have a “real” job, and it annoyed me that my octogenarian neighbours always wanted to know why we weren’t working if we happened to be home during the day. Took a day off? Don’t work til 6pm? Haha, no, check the postcard. Totally forgot about that part of life.
The postcard has remained while we pasted “My dog is friendly, HONEST” and then “Baby sleeping, ring doorbell UPON PAIN OF DEATH” signs over top of it. To be honest, it’s one of those things I’ve forgotten was there. Certainly the ironic slacker message is no longer relevant.
To go with our grown-up house that we pay for with our real jobs, for the past few years we’ve had a nomad handyman/yard helper/whatever type of guy who shows up randomly to see if we need our walk shovelled, or our leaves raked, or our eaves cleaned out. We give him 20 bucks, he gives us about an hours work doing things we don’t particularly want to do. He only shows up every 6 weeks or so, and I think he only stops if he can actually SEE something that needs to be done, so it’s a very symbiotic relationship. He works when he feels like it, making a pretty reasonable wage; we don’t get ostracized by the neighbours. (Much.)
Except last week he knocked on the door, and I was a little surprised to see him. It was a miserable day, and there wasn’t anything that needed shovelling or tending to. It’s spring; we’re just waiting around for things to melt. He asked if he could scrape the ice off our walk, or at least try, and failing that, maybe he could take the 20 bucks and come back in a few days to do it? Or anything else? He’d leave his ice scraper. He really needed money to put gas in the car to go see his kids. He understood it was an imposition.
And while he was fumbling through his apologetic business proposition, he made reference to the postcard on the door.
I realized that he had been interpreting it as a criticism of people who don’t have jobs.
I gave him the 20 bucks, and he made an attempt on the 6-inch-thick glacier that is our front walk, gave up, and left his ice scraper, thanking me profusely and promising to return.
I went back inside and took the damn postcard down. I was completely mortified, three years’ worth of embarrassed. I was heartbroken that this intrepid soul, who showed up willing to work hard, who went out and found jobs when he needed them, thought we were judging him for not having a “real” job. He had no idea that I respect him for carving out his own path, for getting out there and just doing it. That, frankly, some days I wish I had the guts to ask someone if I could rake their lawn when I needed twenty bucks, too.
Mind you…he hasn’t come back yet, either.
Well, at least I have an ice scraper. Maybe next time he’ll leave a rototiller, I really need one of those.
Reader Comments (21)
Awww... I wouldn't have thought of it the way that he did. The postcard made me laugh right off of the bat... I haven't worked a "real" job since 2003, so I can relate.
Right on for getting it done.
I loathe the daily grind. I am grateful for my steady income, but long for freedom at the same time.
I'm with Jenner. It totally made me laugh. I don't have a 'real job' either.
I loved this. Some things are so much about perspective. And I would quit my job in a second if I thought I could make enough money at the little things that keep me busy and happy.
I bet he'll be back, and maybe then you will get the chance to make amends. Or something like that.
I bet he'll be back. He sounds like that kind of guy. Love the postcard. I needed one of those a few years ago!
Oh, God. That's the worst. When someone thinks you're looking down upon them, or judging them, when you really just want everyone to let their own freak flag fly high. I would have giggled if I saw it, but I understand completely how it could've been taking the wrong way.
And I totally sympathize with the, "Oh, you're off today, eh?" No. I work from home. Which means I can do what I want, when I want. It means that while I can go to the grocery store at 10 AM, I can also stay up and work until 3 AM. So put that in your nine-to-five pipe and smoke it.
(I would never say that. But I'd totally think it an hour later and regret NOT saying it.)
I don't have a "real" job either. I sometimes call myself permanently unemployed because working for someone else just doesn't appeal to me. Some days I have to be more humble than not, though. And yeah, if that meant I had to go door to door asking for work, I'd do it. Honestly, I don't think that guy was too offended by your postcard on most days. Maybe on a day when it felt more like begging than providing a service, he saw it from a different perspective.
I wish I didn't have a "real" job. His way seems to be a decent path, to me. I always tell PB, I can't "not" work, I'd end up killing someone. But I'd kill to be able to work part time as a book seller again, or a barista. Sigh.
I've always wanted collateral for giving out money..
Ugh. Ouch. Hope he comes back for the ice scraper.
Is it a mark of my screwed up head that this made me fight back tears? This is a great story. A moving little vignette about what a bitch it is to be alive. I'm not advocating *not* being alive, of course.
I've got a post brewing on my "serious" blog about the cleaning ladies who come to my house and make it safe to live in. I was chatting with them while they waited for their ride to come. I asked about their kids and make conversation. I offered them something to drink. I realized that one of the ladies has an 18-month-old and offered her my much loved and overused hand-me-downs. She was very happy to have them and told me (English is a second language), "I don't know how to say this, but you are a good rich lady."
Rich lady? Perspective is everything.
Aw! Poor guy! Don't feel bad though, you didn't mean it the way he took it. And I'm sure he'll be back! :)
You suck.
Ok, not really, but everybody else was being all sympathetic. If this guy has been coming by your house often enough to find you or your husband there in the middle of a work day I doubt he's taking your postcard that personally.
I haven't forgotten about getting a job, I just choose not to think of it often.
I'm all for carving your own path (as long as you get what you need done, done) I wouldn't have read it the way the guy seemed to either. Good for him for having the guts and courage to at least try so he could see his kids. My ex had it easy and chose not to see his girls and that is what pisses them off, not that he didn't give them much.
OK I'm sorry I'm still cracking up at the 'baby sleeping, ring doorbell'...I need that for my door because apparently whenever my baby is sleeping it is then that my brother in laws decide to show up. And after failing at telling them "SHHHHHH!!!" for the millionth time, it's then that I just want to slap tape on their mouths!!
Poor dude though that just needed the $20. to go see his kids. At least he was honest about it and did 'try' to scrape the ice.
I have a real job but wish I had a better one.
Oooph-that sucks all around.
Aw that's so sad! I feel bad for that guy. : ( I don't think you should feel guilty though. Not like you meant to offend him or anything.
Aw gee. Well-written.
I used to have a neighbour that vacuumed (!) his entire lawn AND the street. I swear. His wife told me he had worn out more than one shop vac. He had a corner lot. I was on the other corner and it was a lot of pressure. I'm glad you have a trusty yard helper.