Building a blanket burrito for better Monster Protection.
Monday, March 28, 2011 at 10:01PM When I was a kid, I was inadvertently allowed to watch some old horror movies on tv.
Well, it wasn’t even actual horror movies, it was some kind of documentary about horror movies, but in a few short minutes, I had WAY more information than any 7-year-old should have about an impending Attack of the Blob. I also had a sudden and deep-seated fear of Body Snatchers.
I became a little obsessed with the backs of peoples’ necks, because that is where the Body Snatchers leave their mark. I was particularly concerned with the necks of grownups, because frankly, they were awfully confusing to begin with and who knew if they had been bodysnatched, or if they were just being grumpy?
These new fears also manifested themselves in an elaborate bedtime routine. It began with a running leap from the doorway onto my bed, lest I touch down too close to the bed itself, thus exposing my tender flesh to any Blobs lurking underneath. I’m sure every kid is familiar with this manoeuver, although my bed was just a touch too far from the door. This resulted in any number of spectacular wipeouts, where I would slip and tumble to the floor, next to the bed, my wide eyes glimpsing the abyss for a split second before I scrambled upwards in a panic.
Once safely on the bed, I had a little routine with my duvet that guaranteed me safety while I slumbered.
It probably goes without saying that I always had to pee.
Reader Comments (31)
I still have to run full-bore up my mom's basement stairs. Something beneath them is still waiting to grab me, I just know it!!
What was that movie where the adults had little white X-shaped bandages on their necks? Was that Body Snatchers, or was it something else? Whatever -- it scared the piss out of me. I never thought about wrapping myself up burrito-style, though. Brilliant!
I was never afraid of the monster under the bed or whatever. Instead, for me, it was the ghoul lurking behind me as i walked upstairs from the basement late at night. As a kid i'd often be the last one up and would thus need to turn off all the lights behind me. So there was always a good 10 seconds where i was walking up those steps, away from my own dark abyss. Oh, and the Sixth Sense scared me shitless too... largely because my dad said that it was an accurate portrayal of reality. Hahaha...
That's BRILLIANT! I'm going to do that tonight.
I think that's a guaranteed bladder expander, is what that is.
I had a similar routine but I added rocking back and forth so that I was always a moving target for the monster under the bed. I successfully eluded capture using this technique.
Hugs
SueAnn
Genius! why did I never think of that?
What program are you using to draw with? Do you use the mouse or a stylus? Oh wait, I should be commenting on the post. My bad. That is some ritual you had there. It must have delayed your bedtime at least 15 minutes which we all know in kid time equals 1 hour. Nice thinking outside the box.
But, did you get snatched or eaten by Blobs? No. I call that a success.
LOL, that is a great duvet burrito, I have to think of it next time the kids are being extra ornery at bedtime. I had a big ugly stuffed rat that fought off bad uglies at night. My Mom never understood why I kept him around.
I'm SO going to show this to Princess Nagger - along with playing a zombie game recently, I apparently made the 'mistake' (according to her) in letting her watch the stop-motion movie 'Coraline' and she says she can no longer sleep because of bad dreams. Maybe this will help. ;)
I'd say I feel naked without you but I don't mind being naked.
Happy Random Tuesday! (even though you aren't doing it...) LOL
When I was little I thought if I ran really fast the monsters or ghosts wouldn't be able to get me. Like you, I had many a wipe-out in my haste to get away from my imaginary foes. Now I have a son who is scared of robots that he is sure live in the closets and the bathroom. Perhaps I will teach him the burrito blanket he can use for safety. haha.
The expressions on your face as you are being burrito-ized make me laugh. How do kids get any sleep at all and how do we turn out so-nearly-normal?
I personally wanted one of those monster snorkels like from the Far Side. Then no exposed flesh was outside the covers. Unfortunately I didn't have one and it gets crazy stuffy with the covers over your head.
Swaddling for big kids FTW!
I think every kid much have had a fear of something or another under their bed! I would rearrange my room frequently so that the bed would be in prime leaping-to position.
OMG, OMG, OMG, OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I have TEARS, actual TEARS running down my eyes from reading this post. That picture of you 'swaddling' yourself to sleep and then banging your head until the top came down. I'm picturing this and seriously have to go wipe my eyes because I can't see the computer screen.
The blob was one of my biggest fears. I still fear having my feet touch the bottom of the bed for too long. If i let my mind race and think I'll still LEAP into bed, I swear!! And when I was younger i had a friend who's mom would always put on 'Return of the Dead', the zombie movie for her 8 yr. old son. And so I'd go home or sleep over her house with fear of being bitten by these zombies and still 'til this day I know that the only way to kill a zombie is to shoot it in the head, why did I need this informatoin at 12 years of age???????
Thanks for seriously always cracking me the heck up!!!!!!!!
OK, that picture is priceless. Especially the face!
For me, I was convinced that there were random people, ghouls, ghosts, whatever, in our basement and that the sound of the ancient furnace in our house turning on would scare them away. I used to stay awake (terrified) and wait for that sound. Summer was unbearable :) Maybe this is the root of my constant-coldness?
Wiat it wasn't 'Return of the Dead', I thnk it was 'NIght of the Living Dead'...whatever it was about zombies in supermarkets, that much I remember!
And in mommy parlance, swaddling. Good for making newborns cozy and protecting them from baby blobs.
i would sleep with a giant (almost bigger than me) teddy bear between me and the door so if someone stabbed me - it would get the bear.
OMG Hubby still does this all. the. time. I don't think he's afraid of monsters. i just asked him why, and he said: "Um, I don't know. I guess it's just more comfortable. And no air gets in" which I take to mean that he's afraid of air.
Can one do this with a snuggie? I mean, I don't care. It's for a friend. Not for me. Really.