Also, a sarcasm font.
Friday, February 25, 2011 at 9:21AM Recently a friend sent me a link to this article, which is basically a summary of Dooce’s history and what elements in it mean that she makes millions of dollars and you don’t.
I replied, “Seems like tenacity and personal drama are the X-factors for blogging success. Unfortunately I have one and not the other!”
(Tenacity. It’s TENACITY, OBVIOUSLY.)
She wrote back, “ha! let's not overlook your keen wit and unerring fashion sense. a broad can go far with a wisecrack and an arched eyebrow :)”
To which I had to wonder, how does one display an arched eyebrow in a blog post, exactly?
I mean, I can arch one eyebrow. I actually practiced as a teenager until I had mastered it. But YOU don’t know that.
So from now on, for all wisecracks and “wtf” moments, I need a way to show you that I’m raising an eyebrow.
Maybe an emoticon? `:-/
Ehn…that says more “there’s something on your forehead, did you eat your lunch at a trough?” to me.
An ASCII drawing?
| .DDNDD7..?DD DDDD. D NDD? D .DDDD. . DDDDD. .DDDDD. .NDDD7. .NDDDZ .DDDD: .DDDD =DDDD. .DDDD .DDDD. ~DD8 |
Wow. Well that seems…tedious.
You know what? I think I’ll just stick with short sentences and strategically placed swear words.
*arches one eyebrow*
Keely | 23 Comments
Reader Comments (23)
*practices arching her brow* Hell I can be a ranting raving lunatic for millions- I'd do it for a fraction of that.
Plus, I have that lip curl thing going- you know, the bullshit barometer that automatically says fuck you to whoever has the nerve to be a stupid ass in front of me.
Come on, advertisers and sponsors, I'm a real bargain and I have more family members whose souls I would sell down the river.
Despite hours upon hours of practice, I never mastered the art of arching one eyebrow. I considered shaving one eyebrow and painting it in arched, but discarded that plan almost immediately. Now I'm working on a signature look that works both in emoticon and in person. Not having much luck with that though.
I'd kill for that kind of blog popularity. Seriously.
I spotted the NYT article the other day but my tiny brain became quickly bored with it - found myself thinking "I'd rather be reading TheUnMom" (really)
while you are figuring out how to make an arched eyebrow emoticon - I could really use a rolling my eyes one. thanks
I use italics for smart ass remarks most of the time. But I also use them for parentheticals as well. Generally the parentheticals are sarcastic, but sometimes they are not, so I am thinking of changing to Comic Sans font when I am sarcastic. Or maybe some bolded serifed font.
I can't arch an eyebrow but I have given myself a headache from eye rolling.
Great. So now, in order to be successful, I have to pluck AND arch my eyebrow?
strategically placed swear words always draw me in.
No, no, grasshopper. One must play with the emoticons.
/ :-)
And I'm done.
There are times when I'd love a sarcasm font. I can arch the eyebrow, but it tends to give me a headache.
-->In case it's not clear in my emails when I'm being sarcastic, I add (S) to the end of the sentence.
Raise that eyebrow girl!
You know? I noticed how good you were at the one arched eyebrow thing. Now, when I read the short sentence and strategically placed swear words I just know that you are doing it.
That works. And that also means that even if you haven't plucked, we won't even know!
I tried for YEARS to arch one eyebrow. YEARS. No luck. I think it's genetic...unless anyone has any tips? I'm pretty sure the ability to raise one eyebrow would improve both my professional and personal life on a daily basis.
We totally need an arched eyebrow emoticon. And a sarcasm font. It should be something between italics and regular but kind of drippy.
I just want it known that I am always sarcastic. It gets me into less trouble if people don't take me seriously. But, I think I inherited the arched eyebrow when I had kids. Nothing says MOM love like the look of impending doom.
I got to a point in high school where I couldn't look at anyone without arching an eyebrow. It became very awkward. I cured myself of it though. You know how to do the graphics and computer magic stuff, right? Can't you make your own emoticons?
YES, there needs to be a sarcasm font. Also, my life will be so much easier when my kids finally understand sarcasm.
I totally practiced raising one eyebrow as a kid, too! But I can only do it with my left.
I'm really glad to know that I'm not the only one who practiced the arching of the eyebrow.
The only one I know is :), epic fail for me.
Funny.
I think it's different for everyone. I mean, "how you reach success and get paid to do this blogging thing."
Tenacity and another extreme personality trait:
Drama would be one....others are: very good looks, very bad looks, very smart, very dumb, etc.
I haven't figured out which one I am. No comment please!
You should copyright that first emoticon and sell it to the I've-fallen-and-I-can't-get-up-people. It totally looks like that. Keep writing and swearing. I pledge my devotion!
I can do that eyebrow thing, too. I should bust that out more often.
I think you need the html code for arched eyebrow, or sarcasm:
<sarcasm>I LOVE your story about the Maytag washer.</sarcasm>
I don't know what it is about that Dooce chick but she annoys the hell outta me. I'm saying this with both brows in an angry position. I guess I'm jealous of the money she has to roll around in.