Where I capitalize a lot of unnecessary stuff
Sunday, October 30, 2011 at 7:55PM Because this appears to be turning into a Subjecting You All To My Health Concerns blog, I should probably tell you about my latest ovarian escapades.
(This is the point at which my 2 male readers are allowed to leave the room.)
(No, really. Go on, guys.)
I haven’t said anything about it in a while, because things have been status quo, as in, apparently I’m in menopause.
Recently I got a “final” diagnosis from a new OB-GYN, and guess what? Apparently I’m in menopause!
“Well,” he qualified, “before the age of 40 it’s actually called Premature Ovarian Failure.”
I thought, Hear that, girls? You’re failures! Both of you! MAMA IS SO PROUD.
(I didn’t say that, however. I cocked an eyebrow and informed him, “That is a terrible name.” He concurred and started referring to it as Premature Ovarian Shutdown. Which…is still terrible. Well, he tried.)
Anyway, bottom line is that I am now on Hormone Replacement Therapy, the traditional, non-bioidentical kind, which is just fine with me because at this point I am just fucking sick of dealing with it. Will it make me sleep better? Make me less bitchy? Remove this brain fog that I have been swimming through for over 2 years? Great! Sign me up!
It does, and it has made great strides in those areas. I’m pretty happy to go back to being recreationally bitchy, instead of compulsively so.
The other bottom line is that in order to conceive, I would need a donor egg. I actually have several egg offers, because I am singularly blessed in the area of Friends Who Would Give Me An Egg And Also Probably Help Me Move A Body. (I’m somewhat deficient in the areas of Friends Who Want To Fly Me To Maui and Friends Who Have An Extra Jaguar They Just Don’t Know What To Do With, if anybody wants to step up. But I think I’m still ahead of the game.) The donor egg option isn’t completely off the table, but…well, I’m not sure we’re entirely comfortable with it, and Xander is 4 and somewhat self-sufficient, sometimes he can even go 15 whole minutes without attempting to maim himself, and do we really want to go back to that whole diapering thing again?
(I’ll keep you posted on that one.)
Of course there’s always the possibility that my ovaries will “wake up” and drop a random egg, which I’m sure is exactly what will happen…when I’m 47.
That’s just kind of how things work around here.
Reader Comments (18)
You're right, Premature Ovarian Anything is a horrible thing to tell someboday, "This is what you're going through."
You never know, you could end up being one of those miracle stories... "I was on 3 different BCs and I have a lazy ovary and he only has one testicle and a vasectomy and I STILL got pregnant" or something along those lines. Before you're 47, too. I'm not sure how I'd feel about a donor egg, either.
I"m glad the hormones are helping! And if being compulsively bitchy is a warning sign of early menopause, I know a LOT of people who need to go get checked out (including myself).
Shall I play Taps now? I mean ovarian shutdown sound ominous and final!! Poor things and poor you. I can say that I have happily crossed to the other side and have no more ovaries!! Cool huh?
Hugs
SueAnn
Wow. Poor little ovaries. How must their self-esteem be after hearing about their failure? Maybe if the doctor had given them a pep talk?
Also, your friends rock. I spent years trying to get pregnant and then had a son who died in infancy. My best friend actually offered to carry a child for me at that point. In the end, we got pregnant on our own but the fact that she was willing to do such a thing was overwhelming to me.
Well, that sucks. But talk about awesome friends! If you happen to have any of the Maui friends who still need someone to attach to...be sure to send them my way.
It's not really that bad to have a big gap between kids--mine are almost six years apart--not totally by chioce but hey I'll have one pretty self sufficient (and off the insurance) by the time we get to do it for the second one. Bright side, don't take away my bright side.
At least Premature Ovarian Shutdown makes you sound like less of a failure at life. But I'm glad you're feeling better, whatever the reason!
Hmmm, think of it this way, maybe zombies like ovaries and now that yours have "shut down" they'll pass right on by you.
The whole donor egg thing might freak me out, too. But then again, a lot of things do. Just the way I roll. Unless the person offering is gorgeous and a genius. Then take that egg and run with it baby.
My boat is right behind yours. I'm set for an appointment for the whole work up after Thanksgiving to find out why some people blink and get pregnant and 2 and 1/2 years later, I'm still working on nothing. Come on, hormones!
Damn! Stupid ovaries!
I'd be honored to be a Friend Who Wants To Fly You To Maui, after I Gave You An Extra Jaguar I Just Don’t Know What To Do With, since We've Just Moved A Body.
As far as being a Friend Who Would Give you An Egg, you've read about my kids, right? I wouldn't do that to you. ;-)
You do know that I'd be there for you if I could but my girls decided to shut down when I was 38. Sure, I didn't want anymore kids by then but I wanted to have the illusion that I could if I really wanted to. I'd be there for the Maui thing too but the best I can offer is Houston. Lame, I know.
Never discount that huge gap thing. My friend tried to have another child for 14 years. She had just bitched at her husband to get a vasectomy because she didn't want to have another child at 39. His response was; if it hasn't happened by now it is just not going to. Guess what little bundle of joy came a 1 1/2 years later?
I went on HRT for about 2 years. It worked for awhile then it just made things worse. By that time I was over the consistently bitchy thing. The others? Not so much.
early menopause? why is being a woman so awesome? it hardly seems fair!
I'm going to take a minute to cry for you. But just a minute because I'm a big fan of what is supposed to happen is what happens whether we like it or not. None of us can see the way the future is laid out before us and sometimes those things we want more than anything are really not the things we need... at this particular time. You obviously have other options (donor eggs, adoption). Sending you blessings and good feelings.
No, no, no, no. . . You will drop TWO EGGS at 47.
Ovaries are bitches. I'm sorry yours are non-compliant.
And, Keely? Sorry about the early menopause. Really.
Menopause? Shit.
Ovaries are such little bitches. I swear they're like these catty little bitches in our nether regions conspiring against us. For spite.
I'm not even going to pretend to understand What This Means or How You Feel or What I Should Say, but I am guessing it's a little relieving to know that Something Is Going On and I'm Not Randomly Bitchy Nonstop For No Reason. I'm really going overboard with the caps here, aren't I? Damnit. Well, I'm short on Jaguars, but I'd totally gift you my '94 Beretta. But I"m pretty sure that's like gifting you a pair of used shoes or somehting.
Please email me! I have a question about your blog! :)
HeatherVonsj@gmail.com
Sigh. You and I talked about this a little back when. Sorry about the news but hopefully having some answers provides a little relief. Without sounding too corny or hippy-dippy... the universe has funny ways of working things out. So I'm expecting good things for you one way or another.
Sorry to hear about the shitty diagnosis. I hope the therapy helps. It's hard to stay sane when you're not sleeping.
My son's art teacher had her first kid at 46. Sometimes ovaries do the weirdest things.
WHO is making up these horrible names? Good gawd. I'm sorry to hear all this, though I hope the hormone therapy works out and that stubborn little egg drops already. Drop down you sneaky bastard! (I'm shaking my fist at the sky right now!)