Once upon a time, there was a girl. She wrote things on the internet and stuff and sometimes they were particularly disjointed. Her mother always said she was a celebrator (which sounds adorable but really she just likes an excuse to have cake), so she turned her random thoughts into a little party, every Tuesday.
(Sorry, it’s Bring Your Own Cake.)
I’ve officially reached the point in my life where jeans are just fucking uncomfortable. Black yoga pants are my new best friend. I think Hallmark has a card for this important milestone.
My body has decided now is a good time to develop a sinus infection. I think my body has impeccable timing, considering I will be getting on a plane to go to Nashville Wednesday morning. I must remember to send my body a ‘thank you’ card.
While I’m at it, I’ll express my appreciation for deciding that we are in menopause without consulting me.
I’m not sure there’s a card with enough expletives to cover all of that.
It was this cold here last week.
I’m not even remotely ready to go to Blissdom. My legs are unshaven, my toenails are janky. None of my roomies are going to want to share a bed with me!
…hang on, that kind of works for me.
I am so very, very tired of editing my resume. Someone just realize how fabulous I am and give me a job already.
Frosty the Snowman travels 5314 miles to die.
I’m a bit of a nervous flier. Not because I’m worried the plane will plummet us to our fiery doom, although that’s always a fun topic of conversation. That, however, is out of my control. No, I get all sweat-palmed and jittery over managing to navigate the unknown airport, make my plane on time, get through customs, and somehow manage to NOT look like a complete idiot.
Because clearly, looking silly is much more frightening than tucking my head between my knees while my face is burning off.
Last week, real life superheroes, this week, real life ninja. It’s a font of useful information around here.