The fact that I’ve gone back to drinking doesn’t make the celery more appealing: Random Tuesday Thoughts
Tuesday, September 28, 2010 at 3:32AM Is it Tuesday? Y’know what that means?
It means tomorrow is Hump Day, and I have to endure all the same old tired jokes about that. It’s especially aggravating because I don’t work Mondays, so technically everybody is getting humped but me.
Also, it means you should write a random post and then put that pretty* purple button on it and link up.
*I’ve decided I’ve been hurting the button’s feelings by calling it fugly. Words are powerful, you know.
So I’m getting fatter. Now, before you start getting all, “Oh, pshaw, you look great! Everyone knows the blog adds 10 pounds,”, I’m just stating a fact. I’m not beating myself up about it, because this time it is not my fucking fault.
It must be the menopause (the gift that keeps on giving!) or my thyroid or something, because I’m not eating anymore than usual, I’m drinking plenty of water, I’m even exercising. (A little. Okay, just some yoga, but that TOTALLY COUNTS.) I’ve even given up my beloved bottle glass of wine a night.
Wait.
That’s it. Clearly my body thinks it’s the fucking apocalypse and is storing fat against starvation or possible long-term siege by zombies! Excuse me, I think I have to go pour a drink.
In a few weeks I am going to go do a tradeshow in my “EcoAdvisor for OnlyGreen” capacity. In a small town about an hour from here. So…yeah. That could be fun.
Or it could be a long day full of awkward conversations in a building that serves as town hall/hockey rink/grain storage and that hasn’t been maintained since the 50s.
Either way it’s worth it’s weight in blog material.
In case you were wondering, Tuna Helper with the following substitutions: crab meat for tuna, brown rice pasta for the regular noodles, goats milk for regular milk, and butter for margarine? Tastes just fine.
…What? Tuna is gross.
A 3D dinosaur made in pancakes. (As well as an entire blog dedicated to creative pancaking.) Oh, go on Stacey, you know you’re gonna have to try.
I found what is essentially my dream job posted last week, so now I’m trying to fluff up my portfolio to apply. It’s…slim.
Sliim is in, right?
Right?
(I may have to forfeit sleep for the next few days.)
I have one blog in my Google Reader that I’ve tried to unsubscribe to for months. And it keeps coming back. It was driving me batshit crazy, and then the blogger stopped blogging, and I was all like, phew! I don’t have to go insane trying to unsubscribe to that person’s blog anymore, I can just ignore it in the list!
And then they posted a “hey, I’m back!” post. I’m pretty sure it was just to fuck with me.
It’s finally “Fall” here. As in “actually sunny and sort of warm with a crisp wind, not pouring rain and 5 degrees like it’s been for the last 3 weeks”. I pulled all the dead things out of my garden and realized that the celery, in fact, appeared unharmed. Despite the several nights of hard frost.
Who knew? Apparently what will survive the Apocalypse is roaches, Twinkies, and celery.
Anyway. I dug it all up and cut it into sticks and now there are 2 full jugs of celery sticks sitting in my fridge like I’m on some kind of mad diet. Pretty sure nobody’s going to eat that but me.
Man, I don’t even like celery.
I heart Strongbow.
Oooohhkaay, well, I’m out. Are you in? Random up and leave your link – and maybe some comment love for your compadres, hmm?
Keely | 56 Comments
Reader Comments (56)
So your portfolio is slim and you are feeling fat. That about sums up my life. I allow wine on the weekends. Which just means I drink the same amount in a shorter period of time.
Celery = ewe! Tuna's ok with me though! Just not in Tuna Helper.
Now is not the time to give up drinking!! And nothing can make Tuna Helper taste good...not even crab!!! Yuck!!
Hugs
SueAnn
Ohhhhhh! You KNOW I'm going to have to try those pancakes! Yeah, that should produce some excellent belly laughs and blog fodder.
That's the story of my life - slim portfolio and feeling fat. You're not alone. But I'm so going to buy that argument that my body is storing up fat for the apocalypse since I've cut out all the enjoyable vices which seem to have the opposite effect on what I was going for. Apparently my body is rebelling against the 'good' vs. the 'evil'. Might have to return to 'evil'.
I guess I better plant some celery to prepare for the apocalypse - wait, I don't like celery, either.
And thanks, I'm going to be distracted all day trying to figure out how to make those damn pancakes. You're a peach. ;)
I'm thinking wine may be the only thing to make Tuna Helper taste better. Although anything with crab sounds pretty good.
I ate way to much hamburger helper in college that I refuse to even buy any of the varieties now. Even it means sacrificing more time in the kitchen. And I like celery but only with peanut butter on it. So that kind of ruins the healthy part of celery!
I agree Tuna is gross, we call it the stinky fish around here. Celery's yummy, especially with ranch dip!
Everyone TOLD me I could delete blogs from my reader. Well, Pffttt! I can't. No matter what they just keep coming back up there. So the annoying crafty blogs where I only just feel freaking incompetent idiot are just mocking me everyday.
Damn it.
Happy RTT. I don't know how you made the button crooked but I love it.
I'm back on weight watchers and I'm thinking about joining a gym. I think thinking about working out really hard must expend some calories, right? How are the bioidenticals going??
For me, it's not the wine. It's the why. As in I have no idea WHY I can't stick on my program right now or WHY I can't get on the treadmill tonight. :-)
As usual you are the queen of randomness! Thanks for all the laughs.
I eat one piece of celery every year at Thanksgiving cuz my mom puts it on the relish tray. Other than that, celery and I avoid each other.
More yoga and less drinking? Your body is probably scared and confused. Why would you do that to it???
If celery is going to survive the apocalypse, I'm glad I won't be there. Although I will miss the twinkies.
Oh how I have missed reading this blog!!! Celery is gross!! its all stringy and green... two things that I cannot handle.. ewwwwww!!
Yum, hot tuna. I like it. Wrong? If loads of noodles and creamy sauce of questionable origin dotted with nearly colorless flakes of fish is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
Eww. All I can think about is Tuna. Excuse me while I go barf.
Okay, now that that's out of my system. I totally feel ya on the portfolio being slim and you being fat past SAME HERE! If I hear one more "breastfeeding burns 500 calories and helps you lose weight" ad I might just have to bomb the local WIC offices. I've been nursing my daughter for almost a year and weight more now than I did the day I delivered!
I am a new follower from the blog hop.
Living Out Loud
http://lgreenss.blogspot.com
It's not me you're trying to unsubscribe to, is it?
I like celery, as do my children. Hook me up.
You were trying to unsubscribe me? How dare you? That's why I have it set that once you're in you can never ever get out. It's part of my diabolical plan to rule the world. Wait. I just checked my followers and you aren't listed. Never mind. Tell no one about The Plan.
A mother's creed is to NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER...give up the wine. Give up food? Sure, but keep a death grip on the grape.
I have a love/hate relationship with celery. I love to use it in soups, hate that it comes in such large bunches(unless you want to pay through the nose for individual stalks). I can never use the stuff up before it tries to mutate in the crisper drawer.
If it doesn't involve drinking at lunch time, it's not really a dream job. I hate dinosaurs. You'll have to visit to find out why.
Let's see - I'll skip the 3D pancake sculpture and the tuna helper.
Good luck on the job front, but I don't know how you could give up the opportunity to hang out in coll placs like the hockey rink, grain silo, community center.
Send the celery over here!
I've heard that menopause is a bitch, I hope science can find a way to avoid it before I get there.
So, why is there celery in your garden if you don't like it?
Sorry to hear everyone is getting humped but you. I'll be sure to avoid the jokes this week and give you permission to bitch-slap anybody who does say it (because I have just that much authority!).