Okay, I realize I haven't ALWAYS treated you this well. It's only been in the last 6 or 7 years that I've laid off the binge drinking, eaten proper food, and attempted to exercise on a regular basis. But it's not like I was loading you up with toxic waste before. Just...less food from the "organic farmer's market" group, and more from the "as appears on the pub menu" division.
So, I can forgive the sinusitis, and the gimpy back, and the ridiculously huge varicose vein. And I have been VERY PATIENT with this whole "peri-menopause/lack of hormones" thing.
But now, you have to add high cholesterol onto that? I'M THIRTY-SIX YEARS OLD, not sixty-three. I realize that it has to do with the estrogen that you're not producing, but still. I bet you thought it was funny when the doctor told me I should be "eating my vegetables" and "trying to exercise" and "avoiding fried foods", huh?
Well, fuck you, Body. This is as healthy as we're gonna get. And if you and your stupid high cholesterol end up giving us a heart attack? Who loses, huh, Body? WHO?
PS - Thanks for making the gimpy back act up right before I'm supposed to get on a plane. Seriously, fuck you.