Wednesday
Aug252010
YOU may call it life balance, I think it's a circus act
Wednesday, August 25, 2010 at 8:00AM Welcome back, class! This week's lesson is on superheros. Shall we go over what we've learned about our favorite hero, SuperKeely?
For instance, we've learned that in order to maintain her physical perfection she needs to:
- not eat any flour or sugar
- get enough sleep
- administer an array of supplements and weird hippie remedies
- try to exercise every once in a while
- make a huge production out of stretching out properly when she does exercise, lest she throw out her back
- keep a small army of support staff on retainer, such as hairstylists, massage therapists, chiropractors, dentists, and estheticians
- try not to, um, outgrow all her clothes
And of course, our hero needs to work all those mundane tasks in around her larger missions, which are:
- be a good mother
- be a loving and responsive partner
- be a good reasonably present employee
- be a good friend
- be a responsible housekeeper and homeowner
- be some kind of daughter, granddaughter, neice, cousin, and aunt
- nurture her creative soul in some way
And of course, in all her spare time, SuperKeely tries to do some things that count as 'fun', like reading books or gardening. Or blogging.
How does she do all that, class? Well, she's SUPER, of course!
She's also completely fucking fictional.
by Keely | 18 Comments
Keely | 18 Comments
Reader Comments (18)
It helps to be fictional. Then if you fall down on any of these things you have something to blame it on. Like; "oh I couldn't stretch properly because I ran out of space in the square."
Wait... go back. FICTIONAL??????
Why would you say something like that? Are you trying to make my entire world come crashing down?
Well, thank god. You were making me feel like shit there for a minute.
You know what this means? We are completely and totally fictional twins.....
I want to be fictional. Or wealthy. Either one will work for me.
You're not real?? I'm mean I lost Santa Claus last year and this year the fucking Easter Bunny. You can't tell me you're not real!!!
Sweet relief that you don't exist. I hate to read about real people who seem to pull off everything. Pretty sure none of them are real either. If they are, they are being cloned and given shows on Food Network and HGTV...bitches!
I wanna be fictional too!!!
Whew, for a minute there I thought the zombies had taken you over. Good to know you avoided that infection.
Now that you list it like that it does seem a bit reaching, doesn' t it... Well, screw it. I'm back to my original aim in life then: make it to bed time with as few advil as possible.
Fictional or not, I'd still wear the cape. Fuck what Edna Mode says.
FICTIONAL!! Say it isn't so.
Um...really?
That list didn't look all that difficult to me.
Pfft.
Amateur.
My fictional self drinks less, swears less, swears at her children not at all, never ignores her children whilst blogging or reading trashy vampire novels.... fuck she's boring isn't she?
Oh, that's right, fictional. Because those bitches live here, in LaLa Land. With their pocket sized dogs and everything. It's much more exciting (read: depressing and stressful) to be people with foibles. I myself have more than a heaping of them. want to share?
For awhile there I was becoming ill!! Then I realized you were pulling my leg!! Sooo! I feel much better now.
Hugs
SueAnn
Damn. Those fictional people sure do like blogland.
I must say this week's lesson is really great. I loved the second point of having enough sleep but the problem is in this busy life and work load it's almost impossible to do all this things. Ah yeah that's fiction..
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