Welcome back, class! This week's lesson is on superheros. Shall we go over what we've learned about our favorite hero, SuperKeely?
For instance, we've learned that in order to maintain her physical perfection she needs to:
- not eat any flour or sugar
- get enough sleep
- administer an array of supplements and weird hippie remedies
- try to exercise every once in a while
- make a huge production out of stretching out properly when she does exercise, lest she throw out her back
- keep a small army of support staff on retainer, such as hairstylists, massage therapists, chiropractors, dentists, and estheticians
- try not to, um, outgrow all her clothes
And of course, our hero needs to work all those mundane tasks in around her larger missions, which are:
- be a good mother
- be a loving and responsive partner
- be a good reasonably present employee
- be a good friend
- be a responsible housekeeper and homeowner
- be some kind of daughter, granddaughter, neice, cousin, and aunt
- nurture her creative soul in some way
And of course, in all her spare time, SuperKeely tries to do some things that count as 'fun', like reading books or gardening. Or blogging.
How does she do all that, class? Well, she's SUPER, of course!
She's also completely fucking fictional.