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    « A fairytale (in the 3rd person, so I don't get all misty again) | Main | Random Tuesday Thoughts: BlogHer edition »
    Wednesday
    Aug112010

    Fuck it, just hook me up to a clomid IV and I'll pump out decaplets

    Last week I got up in the pre-dawn hours, got in a cab and travelled to BlogHer in NYC.

    This week I got up in the pre-dawn hours, got in my car and drove 4 hours to another city for my appointment with the doctor who would, according to the last naturopath I saw, fix my hormone issues with bio-identicals. So that I can get pregnant and have my own teeny bambino for other bloggers to NOM on at a future BlogHer conference.

    (Note to self: don't try to be a hero, just stop and pee when you need to go, even if it doesn't coincide with your route plan. Because when you finally arrive at your predetermined pit stop, they may be changing the light fixtures in the bathroom, leaving you flapping your hands and whimpering and generally confirming that out-of-towners are batshit crazy.)

    The gyno asked some standard questions, did a Pap smear, and checked to make sure that my uterus is where it should be. Then he told me that he didn't think the bio-identicals would do anything for me beyond easing the symptoms of menopause; that's all he prescribes them for. If I really want to get pregnant, he strongly recommends fertility drugs.

    In case I haven't mentioned it, fertility drugs are not an option I'm interested in. I am trying to feel normal, not more insane. I think I've done enough synthetic hormonal damage to myself over the years; my body isn't currently manufacturing it's own hormones, so there's no guarantee I'd STAY pregnant. And if I did, I don't think I'm up to the challenge of potential twins, triplets, quadruplets - or their associated reality tv shows.

    So I told him I'd think about it, and I got back in the trusty Honda and drove home, with my throat aching with unshed tears of frustration and only the GPS for company.

    Go right. Go right. I said go right. Turn around if possible. Turn around, you barren witch.

    I think she cut me some slack out of sympathy.

    I liked last week's trip a whole lot better.

    References (4)

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    • Response
      Response: Wayfair Coupon
      The Un Mom - The Un Mom Blog - Fuck it, just hook me up to a clomid IV and I'll pump out decaplets
    • Response
      Response: Xovi Lichter
      The Un Mom - The Un Mom Blog - Fuck it, just hook me up to a clomid IV and I'll pump out decaplets
    • Response
      The Un Mom - The Un Mom Blog - Fuck it, just hook me up to a clomid IV and I'll pump out decaplets
    • Response
      Response: xovilichter
      The Un Mom - The Un Mom Blog - Fuck it, just hook me up to a clomid IV and I'll pump out decaplets

    Reader Comments (34)

    I don't know a whole lot about your situation (obv) but fertility drugs definitely get a bad rep. It really depends what problem you are trying to fix. When it comes to hormonal imbalances/production, well can be very different than someone who has issues with egg reserves. That's a whole different problem to fix and usually where the huge challenges come in.
    It obviously comes down to how you feel about it. But just for the record, as someone who has been through this, not all fertility treatments make you feel beastly or turn you into a raving lunatic. Thank god for that. Plus there are a ton of homeopathic things you can do in the meantime, like accupuncture and herbs and stuff that really do help.
    We don't know each other personally but if you feel like chatting about this, come by my blog where you can email me. If not, no worries.

    August 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrobin

    I'm just going to work with the hugs, and send the more cyber baby dust. Don't give up the "fun" parts. hugs!

    August 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkyooty

    Hormones the bane of our existence! Suppress em, don't suppress em... What came first the chicken or tha egg? aaarrrggghhhh... !

    Yes i know the feeling *sigh*

    August 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternollyposh

    I love you, and I wish I could help. You can have some of my eggs. Al's are probably smarter 'tho.

    August 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFoN

    I don't know, you go the eight kid route and you've got an instant tv deal and endorsements. You can always buy therapy.

    August 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaptain Dumbass

    I wish I could give advice here but I just look at my hubby and get pregnant!

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Daft Scots Lass

    Hugging you! I have no advice or stories to share. Just a big old hug
    SueAnn

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterslommler

    My sister had to take drugs to get pregnant and she just had one at a time. The crazier part is hard to determine. I'd guess no more so than normal.

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

    crap. i'd hug you but i'm more of a smack on the ass kinda girl. *smack*

    My little sister is starting the infertility journey... failing clomid and asking me for some of my eggs. They're old and full of holes but she is more than welcome to them.

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertulpen

    Son of a bitch. There's no chance he's wrong, is there?

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermmeperpetua

    OKay that SUCKS. I'm sorry that you're stuck with such a crappy decision. Have some wine, think about the rest tomorrow.

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

    Really shit news, Keely. Won't he let you just TRY the bioidenticals and see if they work?

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

    From one barren witch to another, I echo your sentiments, "Fuck it."

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSprite's Keeper

    I'm sorry. I know the pain and frustration and ache of infertility. Seven years. That's how long it took for us to get pregnant. I took drugs, David had an operation, I had tons of tests, I took (the evil) Clomid, we did IUI, and nothing. Nothing. The dr's told us that there was no reason for us to not be pregnant. Eventually I just gave up. I know people that are infertile hate to hear, "oh we just quit trying." What a cop out. I don't have any advice for what you should or shouldn't do. Just know that you have a friend that understands.

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

    I've been there and feel your pain. For all my years of trying to get pregnant I kept hearing a line from "Raising Arizona" over and over in my head - "Her womb was a barren place, where my seed could find no purchase." Ugh.

    If it makes you feel any better, I ended up doing the whole nine yards of fertility and ended up with...JUDE! And it really, honestly, didn't make me crazy.

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergretchen

    I've got nothing but a hug over here for you. That all just sucks. You've got to do what you feel is best, though, no matter what krappe other people push at you. Feel better.

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMama Badger

    I have no inspiring words of wisdom. Just a hug. I can only imagine your pain, but next time you get really down I'd be happy to send one of my tweens to visit Aunt Keely.

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

    Ugh, what a yucky trip! I'm sorry the doc wasn't more encouraging. Maybe the bioidenticals are a good idea in any case?

    Maybe a tiny Keely (or six) would be worth the drug-induced craziness.

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

    I'm so sorry for all that you are going through. I wish I had wonderful words of wisdom but all I got is a hug!

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmyLK

    Can't believe you'd turn down your own TLC show: Keely Plus 12.

    But I'm sorry you have to go through all this. Is there a second opinion option?

    I'd offer a hug, but there's already a long line of people here waiting to hug you. So instead, I'm going to stand here in the back wave at you like a dork, and hope you see me waving because I really want this whole thing to turn out ok for you.

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDidactic Pirate

    Lots of love! That's all I've got, I'm not good with these things.

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBabes Mami

    Infertility is hell...I truly know. I'm sorry you are going through this.

    I'm not going to share unsolicited advice, I don't want to minimize how you feel. If you want to know what it feels like to take every fertility drug on earth e-mail me lizgizzy@hotmail.com

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlizgizzy

    So sorry you have to go through this, it must be tough...I don't have any experience but do what you think is right...and ask around, I am sure with enough feedback on using those hormones you can feel better about the decision.

    August 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWhiney Momma

    I have been there, and I completely understand. I wish there was something more I could say, but I know all of the standard replies, and they all suck to hear. So just know you're not alone.

    August 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissives From Suburbia

    I got nothing...{blank stare}. Good luck with whatever you decide, though.

    August 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Urban Cowboy

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