July is traditionally the strangest month of the year: Random Tuesday Thoughts


How are you guys coping with the apple-pie-and-explosives aftermath of July 4th? Okay? Ready for another big celebration? This one is really special, because it's TUESDAY.

And we all know what Tuesday means, right? It means RANDOM. I won't rest until those two are side by side in the dictionary, I tells ya.

(Don't tell Michele, but I've been ripping pages out of dictionaries at the library just to make that happen.)

From the "things that make you go WTF" file:
For Canada Day last week I took the kidlet out to my parent's Ranch for dinner. After eating and considerable whining about having to leave (what? It's nice out there and they feed me), I got him buckled back into the car and was chatting with my mother behind my SUV when I noticed that there appeared to be some kind of crumpled furry thing resting on my rear windshield wiper.

"What is THAT?" I exclaimed. My mother shrugged. I inspected it closer. It looked like half of a long-dead squirrel, held in place by the wiper blade over it's tiny paw.

"What the - WHY IS THERE A DEAD SQUIRREL ON MY CAR??" I demanded.

"Well it didn't come from here," my mom protested, while my dad picked it off and flung it in the bushes. I thought Mom was probably free from suspicion, but she certainly found it funny.

Seriously, though, wtf? How does half the corpse of a largish rodent end up under my wiper blade? Did it get trapped there and spend weeks starving slowly while flailing away on the back of my vehicle? (And then...split into two pieces?) I think I would have noticed, right?

I finally decided that it had to be the work of my crazy octogenarian neighbour Max. Because that is totally the sort of nutjob thing he'd do if he found a dessicated rodent during his daily rounds of MY property. Why do something like, oh I don't know, THROW IT OUT when you could leave it on my car as a passive-aggressive notification that maybe I need to clean up the joint?

Lately hubby has been kind of obsessed with pomegranate juice and it's value as an antioxidant. I don't worry about my antioxidant level much; that's what I have red wine and dark chocolate for. However, the other day he found the POM brand teas on sale at Wal Mart, so he stocked up. He generously offered to split his stash, giving me two of the bottles.

I don't have much use for pomegranate juice as an antioxidant, as I said. But it goes very well with vodka.

Speaking of hubby, many of you pointed out how lucky I am to have him on my post about the cleaners. Believe me, I know. He's generous, funny and almost everything I want my son to grow up to be (I can always hope my son doesn't work awful hours in the restaurant industry). If it weren't for the job thing and the menopause thing (which of course is connected to the lack-of-second-baby thing), I'd be one of those obnoxious and boring people with an idyllic life who doesn't have anything to complain blog about and so resorts to reposting LOLcats and canned product reviews.

I think I have a product review coming up.

Today I went for coffee with someone I haven't seen since high school (and haven't really been close with since grade school). It was only slightly less awkward than it sounds.

She has a PhD in Biology, so I think she wins. We'll meet up again in another 18 years and have a rematch.

If you Americans didn't all have one of these on Sunday, I'll be terribly disappointed.

I'm starting another cleanse tomorrow. Because apparently I like starving. And inflicting my ravenous, under-caffeinated self on those around me.

(Actually, that part I do like. Sometimes you have to stay in touch with your inner bitch.)

Bring out your random, bitchy or otherwise!