Don't get drunk and try to be sexy and light a firecracker with a match in your teeth, or anything. Not that that's something I'd do. Often.

Happy Independence Day, my neighbours!

(That's the day when everyone who needs one receives a free motorized scooter and a handrail in your bathtub, right? And then you eat hot dogs and light fireworks to celebrate? Yours is such a great country. All we get is an influx of moose and maple-syrup orgies. Sometimes at the same time.)

Love, your backasswards Canadian cousin.

Comments

[Amanda]

LMAO. I always wondered why Americans called it Independence Day..now I know. :D

[Michele]

Moose and maple-syrup orgies sounds more interesting than fighting the unwashed masses to watch fireworks in the local park because "The Man" won't let you take your life in your own hands with a combination of illegal fireworks and alcohol.

[Kathy]

I've never seen a moose. Maybe I need to head north. LOL

[A Daft Scots Lass]

Happy 4th of July...

[Keely]

Wait, you can't combine the glory of booze and explosives?? I thought that was the whole point! I'm disillusioned now. You guys are just as over-legislated as we are.

[Michele]

Would it help to tell you that you can bring a concealed weapon into church?

[We are the Guerra's!]

Thanks! And Happy (Belated) Canada Day to you! My cousin in Yellowknife never told me about the moose and maple syrup orgies...I guess we should try that some year, might spice things up ;o)

[The Urban Cowboy]

Thanks, and have a wonderful 4th!

[slommler]

Thank you!!!
And lighting fireworks with a match in your mouth is not a good idea...just saying!!
Hugs
SueAnn

[Cheeseboy]

maple-syrup orgies?! I might trade the fourth...

[Sprite's Keeper]

Aw! And I didn't get you anything for Canada Day!
Wait! I may have an extra one of those tub handrails...

[Beta Dad]

(North)America! Fuck Yeah!

[mmeperpetua]

Thanks, neighbo(u)r! And to preserve your image of our un-legislated greatness, a story:
Last night, our parents' neighbor set his backyard and hedgerow on fire with illegal explosives. The fire dept. and police come to put it out. In the midst of this, bombardment continues from all the other neighbors. My mom asks the cop to make them stop, to which he says, "What do you want me to do, it's Fourth of July!"

God bless you, my dear, sweet, moronic USA.

[Organic Motherhood with Cool W]

I'm thinking a maple syrup orgy sounds pretty good right about now...

PS I want to see a picture of you lighting a firecracker with a match in your teeth. Puleeeease?

[Mrsbear]

Nothing worse than first degree burns around here. I consider that a success. The maple syrup orgies sound a little more dangerous than the explosives actually.

[kyooty]

But isn't that why the moose are in the woods? or the Garbage cans? looking for the maple?

[Julie from Momspective]

The women in my neighborhood (okay, 3 women - five tops) exiled me because of JOKE I made and make all the time. Apparently it's only funny to cool people. I said "I know I'm good at two things - writing and blow jobs"

I thought it was funny, people that know I'm mental laughed. The rest of the people (a.k.a. women who already hate me) assumed that meant I offered a hummer to their husbands. Ew. Gross. I've seen their husbands. I don't pass hummers around like Halloween candy. DUR.