In which I reveal what a total froot loop I really am
Thursday, July 22, 2010 at 10:09PM I made a cryptic reference to my latest naturopath visit last week, and said it was 'hopeful' (or perhaps 'positive' - I don't remember and I'm too lazy to go back and look). But I didn't really get into it because I wanted to see how it all shook out.
Well, it all shook out, so I guess I can fill you in now. Another post about my dysfunctional uterus! Aren't you excited?
Anyway. This naturopath - who isn't actually a naturopath but a 'Doctor of Natural Medicine', which means that she has essentially the same education but is perhaps less of a flake - is actually the step-mother-in-law of my friend Elle. Which means that Elle isn't related to her at all, but she does have to deal with her on a regular basis. Elle gave her this recommendation:
"I have never hated someone more in my life...that I would trust with my life."
Strong words. I don't think I particularly liked her either. She extremely abrupt and had this way of making me feel like I'd gotten the answer to her question WRONG. Um - it's not a test, lady, you're asking me about my eating habits. But she obviously knew her shit, and she was clearly not in it to bilk me out of my money. (Her parting words? "I'm not interested in seeing you again." I think I got helped and then dumped, all within a few hours.)
As a sidenote-that-will-soon-become-relevant, she had an MD traipsing around after her last week. An MD who is interested in alternative therapies. I know, right? I saw a unicorn shortly thereafter.
The upshot of the first (and last, apparently, since she's not interested in seeing me again) session was that she doesn't believe that I'm in menopause. I don't either, but it's sometimes hard to convince myself of that when I haven't had a period since DECEMBER. She felt that 15-odd years of oral contraceptives (oh, shut up, they were all very meaningful sexual relationships) quickly followed by a somewhat problematic pregnancy and delivery had left my body a little traumatized.
I don't know why. They only induced me SEVEN TIMES.
(As another aside, I just went back and re-read my epic birth story that I posted on my other blog. I'm...not actually sure I want to do this again, now.)
Anyway, add to that my work stress and sleep deprivation (sure, my kid slept through the night...once), and my body is just depleted. Of everything, especially hormones. Apparently you have to nourish your body in order for it to manufacture it's own hormones. Who knew?
She gave me some melatonin and a recipe for a warm-milk-and-nutmeg concoction to help me sleep (I couldn't seem to convince her that my toddler is trying to make me commit suicide by waking up 3 times a night at the age of almost-three). And she recommended that I begin hormone replacement therapy with bio-identicals.
What are bio-identicals, you say? Well, they're manufactured hormones. But unlike conventional synthetic hormones, they're exactly the same makeup as your own hormones. Hence the name. They have such questionable advocates as Suzanne Somers and Oprah, and there is only one doctor in this entire province who will prescribe them. He is a 4-1/2 hour drive away.
(As yet another aside, after some research I've discovered that bio-identicals are unpopular with mainstream docs because they're unpopular with drug companies. Drug companies can't patent something that has the identical makeup to someone's own hormones, you see. Therefore they can't charge the exorbitant prices they charge for name brand drugs, so they don't promote them. IT'S A FUCKING CONSPIRACY.)
(Aaaaannnnd, just like that, I've tipped my hand. I'm an eco-weirdo conspiracy theorist. My mother is so proud.)
While I am not a fan of some doctor pumping me full of synthetic hormones, I felt like this particular approach might actually work for me. But a Doctor of Natural Medicine doesn't have a place in the 'chain of command' in our health system - and how does one explain to their GP that they want a referral to THIS doctor, because they don't trust conventional medicine? This is where the lurking MD comes in - she was there for the diagnosis and totally gets it. Coincidentally, she is taking new patients. So I saw her this week, and she ordered about 9 different blood tests, and made the referral to the OBGYN.
I see him in August, shortly after returning from BlogHer. I will have to leave at 6 in the morning.
I'll keep you posted as to whether I fall asleep at the wheel or not.
Reader Comments (22)
Whoa, lots of stuff. It sounds like some progress is happening. And we need to have a long chat in NYC about menopause--I seem to find myself there as a result of all the chemo and junk.
I like the brisk/no nonsense type of doc--it sounds like she did know her stuff.
Well it sounds like to me that you are traveling down a good healthy road. I sure hope it leads to an eventual "cure" or at least some alleviation of symptoms. Best of luck on your new doc visit!
Hugs
SueAnn
Abrupt? Or just a bitch? Wow. Talk about not having a bedside manner. At least I'm glad you (maybe) found a new MD and that you get to go to a natural OBGYN... four ours away. You must really want those drugs. That probably would have made me give up.
Is the naturopath an Israeli? Or maybe my MIL is moonlighting in Canada? Because, seriously, she sounds VERY familiar.
My guess is that she has had to take crap for being in her line of work and so has developed a tough defensive manner. Or maybe she hates the froot-loopy sorts of people in her business and has vowed to be the opposite.
Whatever, she gets shit done. That's what you need.
This all sounds very promising, friend. I'm happy for you. And let me know about the sleep thing. I'm about to start hitting myself over the head with a cast iron frying pan every night just so I can sleep for more than three consecutive hours.
haha i love your comment about seeing a unicorn, that is classic. but I am thrilled to see its starting to happen, and that complementary medicine truly becomes that way. one can dream. I am so glad you now have a "team" so to speak to help you through. I never read your birth stories but I have one other suggestion for you after reading your post. You may want to try maya abdominal massage, it is external but designed to move your uterus back into place and get the blood flowing again..so to speak. There are also herbs that bring on menstruation, don't know if you have tried that already, but you can send me a message if you would like some recos.
Yay! You finally got an appointment to see someone. We'll see how this goes. Have a great time at BlogHer. Did you get the Moo cards?
So, the lurking MD? Could be your pot of gold, in the end. Back in my old life (sniff, in NY, the state where all things are possible), one of the MDs in my office got into natural therapy. And fairly frequently, when things weren't simple to diagnose, the regular MDs would call him in. I had an ear ache that just wouldn't go away. He tells me "Lime juice, the problem isn't your ears. It's a slow moving spit gland NEAR your ear." Viola, I'm cured. Sometimes the weirdos know their stuff, especially when you mix it with scientific method.
I can't believe you were dumped by a "doctor". I don't know what I'd do if a doctor that I sought out told me they weren't interested in seeing me again. I'm still blown away!
Conspiracy-shmiracy. I'm sure the drug companies came up with effective medicine for the common cold and allergies long ago but hold back on them because of the lost revenue it would incur. There's no financial incentive to curing anything. Just look at cancer and think of the bajilliondy dollars that go into its research every year just in donations from charities alone. Why cure something that can make you soooooo rich?
(If you're going to go all conspiracy freak, don't do it half-assed, you gotta commit)
Traditional western medicine has its pace, but I have never trusted the drug companies. They are in business to the nth degree and make more money off of us if we are always taking something. I like alternative medicines that go for the root cause and get one balanced and off the meds. When possible.
Hope you get sleep and hormonal both ASAP ; -)
YAY! It sounds like you hit the jackpot when the GP was following the alternative Dr around. I hope things keep moving forward!
My vote is PCOS!
Sounds intriguing! Fingers crossed for you...
And on the sleep thing, I feel your pain. My kids were 3+ years apart, and neither slept through the night until age 3. SIX years of sleep deprivation. I know you didn't ask for advice, but I'll offer it, cuz you never know what might work. What finally did it for my oldest: looping a Mozart CD in his room all night. Someone gave me that advice when he was a year old. I waited two years to try it. Sigh.
Wow. A doctor dumping. There is a book in that, I think.
Honey, if these people make you preggers naturally, I'm coming up there. We cross the border all the time for drugs. Pregnancy would be a new one..
Induced seven times?! It's a wonder your uterus didn't put in its resignation on the spot. The doctor sounds like she knows her alternative medicines, whatever her bedside manner might be. Knowledge is worth way more than courtesy.
I do not like that woman. Do not see her again. Even if she knows things. I don't trust her, and she's mean. Right there -- two good reasons not to go back to her.
I say go for it. My obgyn wants me to do HRT and I so don't want to risk all those side effects. Do those bio-identicals have a "name"? I'd love to get my hands on them. And yes, it is a conspiracy Not many doctors and no drug companies want you to stay well.... then they'd be out of business. :-)
So glad I had time to pop in here today! I've been thinking of taking the naturopathic route myself for hormone issues...Thanks for sharing your story!
At 43 I go back and forth between thinking I'm in full-on menopause or peri-menopause or whatever they call it. When I remember to use it, I've had excellent results with bio-identical hormone creams (rub into my forearms twice a day). It regulates my cycles and makes me so much less PSYCHO it's amazing.
See you at Blogher!
I have heard excellent things about these bio-identicals from friends who are actually menopausal. I'm eager to hear if they help. And she didn't sound like much of a Froot Loop at all. But then I live in Los Angeles, I have friends with psychics for their cats.