Coming soon: a post that I actually plan and put some thought into (Random Tuesday Thoughts)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010 at 3:15AM 
Tuesday Blogging: it's what people forget to do when they had a long and weird day filled with stressful appointments and topped off with arguments over whether or not an 8pm bedtime is really appropriate for a 2 year old, because said 2 year old thinks 11pm or even midnight might be better.
(That's the title I proposed, but they said it was too unwieldy. They have no sense of rhythm. So we'll just call it Tuesdays: Time To Get Random.)
I was running through the park the other day, and I stopped to have some water at a public drinking fountain, and I got the idea for the following evil scheme: I think I'm going to rubber cement some large silicone dildos onto the water fountains in the dead of night. Y'know, sticking straight up from the bottom of the fountain bowl so that when people bend over to take a drink, they get a big wiener in the face.
It's next on my list of evil schemes after 'taking over the world', so look for it soon.
Sandwiches in a can. Because they're not convenient enough already.
I saw a new naturopathic doctor today. To summarize: I am not completely broken, I can be fixed, and I can do it through conventional (read: covered by healthcare) channels. Also, I need more sleep and I should eat some butter. I think I love this woman.
I don't know whether to cry or applaud this, but I'll probably be signing up.
Do you ever feel like you're supposed to be blogging about Life, but life keeps getting in the way?
Reader Comments (41)
Wow! I will look for you in the news on that water fountian trick!! Looking forward to hearing about it!
You must hide in the bushes with a video camera when you do this evil scam!! Just the thought of it makes me laugh!!!! And just think of the stories people will have to tell about their adventure in drinking a the park! However, I do recommend you wait until kids are back in school to do this and do it during the day while they are there! lol!!!
Butter as a form of therapy? Sign me up!
And the dildo thing is brilliant!
Ok good so it isn't just my 2 year old that does that!?! Whew!!
Sorry, I got hung up on the giant dildo scheme. Can I help? It's fantastically fantastic!
LOL, that better be some good super glue... someone may take them home!
Love the water fountain idea!!!
And to think I used to think water fountains were just dirty. Now they're DIRTY.
(Works for me!)
It's ok, I have the same problem with life getting in the way of writing about life and not just random posts :-)
Those Candwiches have a long shelf life...YUM!
Life sure is getting in the way of my blogging! :)
Yes. I frequently get pissed off at Life when it tries to get in the way of me writing about how pissed I am at Life.
I'm officially one of your Randomizers now. Although I didn't see my name show up on your list after I entered it. I might have to do it again. Plus several more times. Don't be made if I end up on there twelve times today. Sorry about that.
I totally LOL'd over this one.
That epic win app certainly looks interesting. and yay for your new doctor. I hope you get "fixed"
You need to set up video camera's on those water fountains when you hatch your evil plot. And then wait for some "sicko" to try to mount the drinking fountain...
I think all water fountains need dildos. Maybe I'll do that at work.
And I saw the sandwiches in a can on FB yesterday. That just creeps me out. Yuck.
When you first mentioned the water fountain scheme I thought you were going to attach the dildos to the place where the water comes out so people well you know--yes my mind occupies the gutter from time to time.
More butter, awesome!
Awesome idea, I agree you should take video of the results of your scheme. That doctor rocks, yay butter!
Life (kids) get in the way of blogging, that's what duct tape and closets are for.....right?
So do you think that after people actually see the wiener they will still bend over to get a drink.
My 2 year` old thinks that 11pm or later is an ideal bedtime for him, I can't even get him in his pajamas earlier than 10pm. Bedtime is a struggle in our household.
My blog IS about my life, but my life does get in the way of my blogging! >.<
I haven't had butter since this morning, so I think I'll have some now.. See yah! :)
Happy Tuesday Keely! :D
Your evil scheme is the best.
And reminded me of my in laws who are leaving a GIANT weed in their garden because it looks like a penis.
Love the water fountain idea...and having to eat butter!
Damn the haters--you should be able to use that title. So much more descriptive.
Dildo fountains...scary but also hilarious. I'll keep an eye out for your mug shot.
Hooray for stuff that's covered by insurance. Far less bankrupting.
That's just wrong! Especially if I were the unsuspecting recipient of a fountain surprise.
The fountain/dildo idea is brilliant. Brilliant! You must set up a live video stream though, so I can watch all day while I'm working.
I'll need to ponder an itunes play list to go along with it though....soundtrack is important.