Cross-marketing that makes me say wtf:
A "New Moon" Wal-Mart gift card.
Yes, hubby and I had date night and went to Super WalMart again, why do you ask?
I finally have a composter in the backyard! Whee!
I'm old! I get excited about composting! Whee!
Single-serve disposable wine glasses. What's the point? I'd still need, like, twelve.
It must be "Pet Week" here at the Un Mom, because after telling you all about my cat, now I'm going to tell you about how my dog is a fucking pussy.
She's afraid of thunderstorms. Like bone-shaking, whimpering, trying-to-crawl-up-my-asshole afraid of them. Guess how many we've had in the past week or so? Approximately 523.
Under normal circumstances, my dog's preferred order of people goes: 1) Toddler with food, 2) Hubby, 3) Me, and 4) Toddler without food. In thunder conditions, for whatever reason, her order of preference changes to: 1) Me, 2) Me, 3) Where the hell is that woman anyway?, and 4) the toddler. I don't know why she thinks one of US is going to protect her better than the 6'3" guy, but she's not really known for her brains.
Anyway, that means that should thunderstorms occur at night, which, y'know, they occasionally do, she immediately clicks and jangles her way to the side of my bed and sits there panting heavy dog breath on my face. I can convince her to lie down
by punching her in the head, but she has to sit up every 30 seconds or so to make sure I'm still there.
The second night of thunderstorms, I relocated myself to the couch, thinking she'd stay in the room with hubby, but no. She was unwilling to follow me to the living room, because the windows were open there, so she plowed her way into the kid's room, jumped up on the bed, and tried to lay on him. All 70 lbs of her. Needless to say, he complained to the management.
So guess how much sleep I had last week? Approximately none. It's a good thing we haven't had any storms for a couple of nights, because the dog wouldn't have made it. She would have died of fright or I would have smothered her with my pillow.
It's enough to make a person get a fucking CAT.
Things that an average person would do during the Zombie Apocalypse. I like to think I'd be in the minority, thankyouverymuch. Especially if I can get into this class.
I'm kind of hoping for an Apocalypse now. Not one single job I applied for has called me. At least an Apocalypse would give me something to do (and someone to stab in the head).
Good thing I don't have a therapist, I have no idea what they would say about that.
Aaaaaand on THAT cheery note, random up, you guys!