This is what I get for trying to leave the house: Random Tuesday Thoughts


It's that Tuesday time again. You know what that means - you get to piss out a stream of consciousness and call it a post. Random up!

I’ve escaped the house with my laptop in order to randomize better. The library, which has free Wi-Fi, is closed, so I’m stuck with Starbucks, which has bend you over a barrel paid Wi-Fi. And really crappy coffee.

Stupid library.

Some guy just plopped himself down right next to me, opened his laptop and started ranting into his cel phone in a French accent about how badly Canada treats its environment, logging, shooting of wolves to cull the population, etc. etc. A couple of times he mentioned “You knew my background, and hired me to make this report, and it’s not going to be favourable because…(insert environmental atrocity here)”.

I’m sure his statistics were more or less accurate (though all things are relative), but who the fuck makes that kind of business call in the middle of Starbucks? What, was he sleeping in his VAN, he couldn’t make the call from his hotel?

Oh, and make sure you dump that non-biodegradable plastic iced latte container and bottled water on the landfill on your way out, huh, Mr. Environment Lover?

I really have to relocate. Stupid library, not being open.

I wonder how the French Environment Guy feels about the circus tent that is in the mall parking lot a few hundred yards away. Complete with loud PETA-organized protest.

The Shriners vs. PETA. The only battle where crazy people are guaranteed to win.

Did you enter the earrings giveaway yet?

Earlier today: hubby & child go into the living room to play. Moments later I hear a slightly concerned hubby: "Um, why is he calling me 'First Daddy' and hugging me?"

...not sure, hon.

Really. *shifty eyes*

Necklaces that make it look like your head is stitched back on. Perfect for when your inlaws show up 45 minutes early just to fuck with you and your head pops off.

Or when they show up on time and you just feel like fucking with them.

Memorial Day seems like a much better reason to have a long weekend in May than a dead queen.

Do you guys use Google Latitude? It's more than a little Big Brother, but an entertaining way to stalk your own husband. It tells others your location based on IP address (if you're on a computer) or triangulates it based on cel phone towers or something if you're on your phone. The last version isn't terribly accurate and keeps putting hubby in the middle of the lake or on the side of the freeway.

I guess it's always possible he went for a swim or is dead in a ditch, but I prefer to think not.

Are you sleeping with the fishes or lying in a cornfield with your feet chewed off? No? Then you have no excuse. Randomize, you guys.