Define "normal", anyway: Random Tuesday Thoughts
Tuesday, May 11, 2010 at 4:00AM 
Hey kids, it's that Tues type of day again! How does that keep happening?
So, you know what to do. Or if you don't, it's pretty simple - write a random post. Add the fugly purple button, and link up. Voila! Then go visit some of the other players in this weird little game, because they all rock.
Ready? Random!
I went for a massage today. I love massage therapy, I have chronic lower back problems. Unfortunately, the back problems stem from HIP problems, and I always balk at telling the massage therapist what the real issue is.
Because you know where the pain from hip problems manifests, right? Right, in your butt cheeks.
I don't know why, when I'm already pretty much naked and letting a stranger oil me up & rub me down, I have issues asking them to knead my ass, but I do. There's just a line there I can't cross, okay?
I have intercepted the UPS guy twice in the last week. It's either a freaking miracle, or the new guy doesn't have ninja skills on par with the last UPS delivery driver.
I'm going with "miracle", because both times he's looked rather confused that he's actually had to talk to someone.
How was your Mother's Day? Mine was great - brunch*, a card with a toddler 'signature' in it, and Iron Man 2. I even got to sleep in**.
*At home because I've spent too many years working in restaurants to enjoy or contribute to that kind of shit show.
**Read: "lie in bed listening to my kid yell and try to convince my bladder to let me remain there for 5 more minutes, because I'm supposed to be enjoying this, dammit".
If you haven't seen Iron Man 2 yet, perhaps this model of what the Iron Man suit would look like if it tried to turn into a lobster will help.
Or not.
So, Greece. What the hell happened, Greece?
According to my dad, who is a financial planner and therefore pays way more attention to these things than I do (because he actually cares), apparently part of the problem is that virtually everybody in Greece works for the government. And you can take a pension at, like, the age of 50, and if someone dies their spouse then benefits from that pension. And if THAT person dies, their children can inherit the pension. Essentially, the Greek government has been paying it's citizens just to exist.
So, one thing is clear. I should have moved to fucking GREECE.
My kid woke up at 5:30 this morning. No reason, he just felt like being an asshole I guess. Later in the day I texted Fashionista, with whom I had a coffee date, to cancel because hubby had a meeting and anyway, I was hitting a wall because X had gotten up at 5:30, what an asshole.
She texted me back: "Uh, I assume you mean HUBBY is an asshole?"
...sure. If thinking that makes you continue to like me.
It's not any worse than when I texted her on Friday to ask: did she think I should take the antibiotics I'd been prescribed, or should I hoard them for the zombie apocalypse, because they were a different kind and it was good to diversify?
Sometimes I wonder how I have normal friends at all.
That don't live in my computer, I mean. YOU guys are normal, right?
Yeah, right.
Random up!
Reader Comments (53)
Ummm, define normal. I didn't know about Greece, but it sounds like a great place to move to now.
We are so totally normal we talk about the need for dessert after a full meal. :)
Fabulous, so they KEEP waking you up at all hours even when they're not supposed to?! LOL. I'm not sure I would be the best definition of normal right now having just given birth and trying to recover while nursing a newborn, but for your purposes today, I'll say yes. You DO have normal friends, even if they live in your computer.
Happy RTT!
I suppose that in an ideal world the UPS guy would double up as a massage therapist. Then you could get your parcels delivered and your ass kneaded in one foul swoop.
I'm 100% normal, in my opinion.
I applaud you because I couldn't even get oiled down by a stranger so you might as well go all the way ;)
I knew there was a reason I wanted to go to Greece...I didn't realize that was the reason for all the turmoil.
Normal friends or Human-in-person friends? Because if it's the latter, most would tell you they are by no means normal.
Thanks for another week of fun!
Kids can be total assholes.
I can fake normal. That's good enough.
Normal? Um, sure, we'll go with that for today. ;)
Kids can be total assholes - Princess Nagger can sure be a beeyotch when she wants to be. ;)
So hubby and I should rethink the conversation we had over the weekend about maybe moving to Canada and switch it up to moving to Greece. Thanks for the tip!
My son got up shortly after yours. I told him it was too early and to go back to bed. He did. for about 4 minutes. I finally sent him downstairs...alone.
Mom's day was good because my MIL was out of town. It actually got to be about me. Nice change.
Normal is over-rated and usually b-o-r-i-n-g!
I won't even let my wife knead my butt, however there are times when she NEEDS my ass to do something for her. Get it? Knead, need? Never mind.
Is there such a thing as normal anymore?
With kids it doesn't get any better - my son woke me at 5am on Saturday by texting me - repeatedly, and he's going to be 15 in a few weeks.
LOL hoarding meds for a Zombie Apocalypse. Sorry if that offends you, it could be a legitimate reason to hoard pills. My Mom's a nurse, she does it, for just in case. Zombies sound way more important.
normal friends are boring.
Can you even define normal? Really?
I'm fairly certain I'm not normal. I'm the one who flips off her dog.
My Mother's day sucked ass. Yay!
(it's cristin by the way...i ditched the old blog and went all anonyhole, come see)
I'm pretty sure I called my son a shithead to my friend the other day and she just died laughing. It's always the ones without kids laughing.
Haha! I can relate to laying in bed for just a bit longer even though I really have to pee, just because I FINALLY have a chance to stay in bed.
The Lobster thing... a bit freaky!
Happy Tuesday!
Hey, if my kid woke me up at 5:30, I would call her an asshole too. I get cranky when I don't get enough sleep.
Normal? Ummmmm. Nah.
I'm definitely NOT normal-sorry to bust your bubble.
On Sunday I was supposed to "sleep in" and ended up laying in bed for at least an hour waiting for them to "quietly" finish making breakfast. The things we do for the happiness of our kids. . .
I have been looking for someone to pay me to exist. I guess I have just been looking in the wrong country. Of course, my parents aren't from Greece so it sounds like I would have to wait until age 50 to be paid to exist. I can't wait that long.
WOW! I didn't know that about Greece. Sounds like the perfect place to live! Tell Dad thanks for the education!
Love the random-ness over here on Tuesdays!
I've always felt a bit more lamron than normal, but hey I'll claim normal if it makes you feel better.
Glad you had a nice Mother's Day. How was Iron Man 2? I've been reluctant to go because of 1)Mickey Rourke (YIKES) and 2)You know, sequels (well, except for Empire.)
Sorry for the asshole toddler. Nature makes them cute for a reason.
Is it too late to move to Greece then or have they sorted it out? What if I get adopted? I should have avoided the brunch thing but we took my mom and the toddler to brunch where he prompted to dump a cup of coffee in my lap and his with his go-go gadget arms. sigh. Also, if you read my post, please give me a little advice. I need help. Or just moral support.