desperate earnest job search, I have recently signed on with a career counselling firm. I bet you can tell me the first thing they said.
“Sure!” I said brightly.
Internally, that translated as: ggaaahheeehehheOMGOMGOMGkilllmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenow!
“I network constantly!” the career counsellor chirped. “I take coffees to receptionists, I chat people up all the time!”
“Well, sure!” I replied, with slightly less enthusiasm. Despite my overactive imagination, I absolutely can not picture myself doing that.
“Social” networking? Being clever in a bold font or dashing off emails and tweets? Sure, I can do THAT. But actually taking the initiative and talking to people I don’t know? Um…not as much.
As gregarious and loquacious as I may seem one-on-one, the truth is that I would rather have a root canal than ‘network’. (Also, I was probably drunk that one time you saw me.) I’m okay if I have a script – I was a waitress for years – or if I’m talking about, well, me. Small talk with strangers? Calling up people I haven’t seen in 3 years and asking them for favors? I’ll see your root canal and raise you a sucking chest wound.
So this is how my networking efforts have gone thus far:
However, I guess I’d rather have the full-frontal lobotomy with follow-up shock therapy than continue at the job I’m at. So I’ll sack up.
And possibly have a few drinks first.
(Thanks, as always, to Becky for the pie chart inspiration.)