Nom nom nom, Humble Pie
Friday, January 15, 2010 at 7:10PM Since we replaced our prehistoric TV for Christmas, yesterday there was some guy in our basement, his jeans obscenely low (I imagine - I wasn't actually here), muttering obscenities while he installed a high-def line. I'm not sure why we decided to do this, since we don't actually watch that much tv, except that by our tally it would leave us with less switching of cables when we wanted to play the Wii or watch a DVD.
(What it actually did was leave us with one MORE cable to plug and unplug. Which is fucking annoying in the pre-dawn hours when you want to switch it so the kid can watch PBS and not Ice! Age!, because Curious George is less interesting and finite and Ice! Age! just goes on and on and gawd help you if you want to get his coat on before the credits roll so you can get to work on time. And you probably just should have spent the extra 5 minutes fumbling around with RCA cables because now you have a full-blown meltdown AND you're late. Again.)
Anyway.
After dinner I felt chilly so I went to turn up the heat and, lo, the thermostat was completely blank. It no longer had any power, and therefore was no longer telling my furnace to keep me from freezing.
I poked a few buttons and the thermostat did not miraculously start blinking, so I plunked the toddler in front of Ice! Age! (I'm trying to fast track that Mother of the Year award) and spent 15 minute on hold with the cable company. Because surely the wiring and snipping and drilling their tech had been doing, followed by the immediate demise of my thermostat, was not coincidence?
They said they'd look into it and call me back. So I spent the next half an hour peering at the bewildering array of wires and cables that appear to be growing through my basement. This house used to be two obviously very small suites and there are phone cables and wires everywhere that lead to nothing. Which is exactly what I came up with.
Cable dispatch dude called me back and said the tech had declared himself not responsible. Which I didn't really buy, and neither did the dispatch dude, but he said he couldn't dispatch someone on his own say-so, he'd have to escalate it to a manager.
"Okay," I said.
"It probably won't be until tomorrow," he said apologetically. A tiny pointy creature made of Panic popped up in my chest because, hello? My furnace hasn't been running in hours and it's effing cold outside, guy.
"Oh," I said. "Um, okay."
"Is your furnace running?" he queried.
"No," I said in a small voice.
"Oh," he said with more concern. "Is it cold?"
"Not yet!" I chirped with false bravado. And he kind of laughed and promised he'd have someone call me as soon as possible, and I told him I would have someone come and look at it in the meantime and not to worry.
And here is where I'm really glad I remained polite and didn't give in to my Panic and demand "better service" or shriek "My baby could FREEZE, you asshole!!" or something. Because then I called hubby at work and snivelled a little and he came home to see if he could fix it.
Turns out? My thermostat runs on batteries. Which I considered, but apparently you have to be 6'3" to be able to see how the fucking thing actually opens up. Nobody considers us shortasses when they're designing thermostats. Paul changed the batteries and - cue the angels singing - they're not going to find my frozen corpse curled around a Bic lighter after all. The timing of the tech dude was sheer coincidence.
And I'm okay with telling you guys what a dumbass I am because now I'm used to it. I called the cable company back and sheepishly explained that no, their wonderful tech guy with his proper-fitting pants did not, in fact, cut the wire to my thermostat. In fact, there IS no wire and I'm just not that bright, so they don't have to 'escalate' the matter to management, let's all just forget it didn't happen, ok?
Except I guess the message didn't get passed on, because this morning someone in Management called me and I had to explain AGAIN that, in fact, it wasn't their fault. Their tech guy walks on freakin' water, even, and I'm just an idiot. Thanks for calling.
So, yeah. Lesson learned. Always be polite to service companies in the face of a potential frozen fate, lest you turn out to be not dying after all and look like an even bigger asshole.
Or something.
Reader Comments (26)
We've been having problems with our thermostat lately. Never thought that it might be a battery operated model. Off to go check.
Glad you got it fixed.
That sucks when you blame someone and then it turns out that you are just a fool! It happens to me daily! LOL!
mmm....you had me at pie...humble is pretty good a la mode
Better to be a warm fool than a character on IceAge, I always say
too funny! I'm glad I'm not the only one that happens to. I am usually pretty polite tho (so far...).
thanks for the laugh!
I had a similar episode with our internet router recently...only I never called to tell them that I was the problem, but they never called to check on the problem so guess we're even...
Oh, and I'm really glad you didn't freeze to death!
Good thing my furnance is a million years old because I would have never figured out the battery thing. NO one is 6'3 in this house.
Batteries? Why would you have a thermostat that ran on batteries? Ooh! I felt that icy glare from across the prairies.
Our thermostat runs on batteries, too, which doesn't seem to be the smartest design.
Now why the hell is the thermostat running on batteries?? I mean, really???? Seriously???? That is an awful design! So glad you figured it out though so you are not a popsicle in your living room!! And I hear you about not bitching out the service pros'! One never knows when you will need them again. Especially in an emergency.
Hugs and congrats on being warm
SueAnn
Polite until they fek me around.
I'm glad you got the heat back. I have never heard of battery operated thermo thingies before. Maybe that's what's wrong with mine....
I hate it when I do stuff like that, but you know the service guys love it. No matter how nice you were you'll end up the crazy lady that didn't know to check her batteries.
Ok... we had the same problem. Too many components and not enough places to plug them in. Try getting one of these:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_10?url=search-alias%3Delectronics&field-keywords=rca+switch+box&sprefix=rca+switch
It will eliminate all the cable switching and headaches.
I do this sort of thing all the time.
"Is your furnace running? Better go catch it." Sorry, first thing I thought when I read that line in your story.
Well, thank goodness you got the heat back on, right!
Last year our furnace stopped. Of course it was 11 at night on a freezing night. They practically wanted me to give up a child or 2 to pay for their emergency visit. And yes, I was tempted.
Whoops. Not freezing to death is still a victory.
before my oldest went to school, i turned on PBS right before i went to bed, so that in the morning, i could just flick on the tv and lo! behold, curious george! and then promptly fall back asleep with him on the couch.
why does noone think of us shorties when planning this stuff?
Good for you on keeping your cool, though the cable guy automatically declaring himself not-guilty must have been friggin' annoying. What, not even the shadow of a doubt that you did something wrong? Men.
This exact thing could have happened to me, and I love you for admitting it. Only I'd have been an asshole. It's the American way.
My thermostat also runs on batteries, but I saw the BATTERY light blinking last week and alerted my husband to change them (because battery changing is beneath me.)
I did a similar thing with our fireplace insert. Accused the contractor of installing it wrong because it kept shutting off. Turns out that is a safety feature to prevent over heating/catching the house on fire. Guess who never read the manual?
Back to the kindergarden lessons of life! Glad you have heat again.
Ha, this is hilarious (for us to read.) I LOVE the irony that you plucked him in front of ICE AGE. You could have gotten way more play out of that fact..
A very similar thing happened to me but it was b/c I let the propane tank run dry. Apparently, you have to call and refill those things, not call and yell the at the furnace company.
That's a very good cautionary tale. Especially the Curious George part.
Glad you didn't freeze your buttongas off. That's what they're called in Canada, right? Buttongas?
It's ok because for every one person who's mean to the tech guy, he's a dickwad to 100. So you were keeping things balanced.