I bet I know how they're planning to ship my million dollars: Random Tuesday Thoughts
Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 5:45AM 
So! It's Tuesday.
What's new with you?
I just got an email. All it said was this:
You have won £1,000,000 pounds Reply us your Name:Country:Sex
It's like they're not even trying anymore. All the passion has gone out of the relationship, I tell ya.
I have a bone to pick with a certain delivery company. I won't say who, but their initials are U, P, and S.
What the fuck, guys? You attempted to deliver my package, and we weren't home. So you left a polite little note saying you'd try again the following day, between 2 & 5, or after 5. I made sure hubby was home at 2.
You showed up at 12:30. And left another little note, saying you'd try again the following day, between 2 & 5, or after 5. Hubby was home all day and yet, when I got home from work, there it was, your pretty yellow note saying that this had been your final attempt (again, at 12:20, do you need a fucking watch?), and you were shipping my package back. Hello? You can cough politely outside our door and the dog loses her mind, so you couldn't have tried that hard to deliver my Earth boots.
Mama needs her footwear.
So I logged on to your website to see if I could pick them up at your store but no, I got nothing but error messages. I called your phone number and a lovely automaton informed me that because there were brokerage fees owing, for some reason that means they have to be shipped straight back. That very same day. She asked if I needed to hear that information again, and I said "No! I need you to not fucking ship them back!"
Stepford Customer Service replied, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that."
Clearly. I can't seem to speak to a human and my crack shoe dealer tells me that was the LAST PAIR. They will try to ship them back to me but can't guarantee anything.
What are the chances they'll use the same fucking shipping company?
Anyway. Happy Thoughts! Pretty Things! Gorgeous illustrations by my friend Akiko!
I just realized I only have a partial-feed thingy going on this blog. Yeah, I have this interwebby dealie mastered.
I should probably go do that. What's random (or ranty) in your world? Link up, interwebby people!The program of stretches and strength-training exercises that Trainer Lady gave me is like, 15 pages long. I did it yesterday. Can't I be fixed now?
Reader Comments (57)
Your UPS dude and my UPS dude are like night and day. Mine rings the doorbell and POUNDS like a motherfucker, even though I stick a note on the door when the kids are sleeping. He gets the dogs barking and wakes up the kids every fucking time. Wanna trade?
Fifteen pages of exercise? Just reading that should qualify as a workout.
I hate those lottery emails - I am being bombarded with them!
As for UPS - usually I have no trouble, but out of the blue a couple of weeks ago, I received a postcard in the mail that they had a package but my address wasn't valid.
WTF?? First, you mailed the postcard to the SAME address and, secondly, I've been getting UPS packages here for 15 YEARS!!
Good luck on getting your shoes!
Though I feel bad laughing at your pain, I love your UPS story! You just have this way of cracking me up. I had no idea it was so difficult to get a package. I live in an apartment so they just leave it in the office for me if I'm not home or if they are too lazy to walk upstairs and bring it to my door.
I hope you're able to get your footwear!
Ooooooo COOL Boots!
Love them. Send some to me!
Delivery guys always make me think of coke heads... I'm just sayin'
i love those boots!!!! And UPS pisses me off too!
I've been there with UPS. They are mysterious magicians who can supposedly ring the doorbell and leave a note on the door undetected. I've been home all day and wondered where the package was. Sure enough, I open the door and there is their little post it paper informing me they attempted to deliver the package.
Your UPS guy and my USPS biotch must be related. Hope you get those awesome boots somehow!
U,P, and S? ..... Oh!
Why do I always feel guilty like I've done something wrong when I get those notes saying I wasn't home to receive my packages? Like it's my fault I had to WORK.
How flippin' annoying is it when they cannot just leave a package?! uurrrggghhhh.
Have a good Tuesday :)
I'll bet this came from a company outside our country? They ask for like 50.00 to get the guys at the border eat their lunch over your open shipping boxes!
just saying... my post is up. :) I came here earlier but uh you werenn't here.. just saying :P
I'm with you, I prefer a little back story with my hoax lottery emails. Their apathy is discouraging.
Also, not cool when UPS holds your shoes hostage. Who have you pissed off lately. ;)
That stinks! I hope you get your boots! I can't complain about my UPS guy. He just leaves the packages by the garage. If he needs a signature, he will go to a neighbor and leave a note as to which neighbor signed for the package.
What a lame email. Where's the drama of the whole family perishing tragically in an accident and the whole no other heirs can be found so I'm sharing the whole crap load of money with you thing?
U P and S really suck sometimes. Why they just can't leave a package is beyond me. I think they secretly enjoy toying with you.
Happy RTT
Dude...WHY did you have to share the link to your boots? I WANT THEM. They are super cute.
I agree with the previous commenters...just reading 15 pages of strength-training exercises should constitute as a workout. Then again, I'm a chubster, so what do I know?
I'm still trying to figure out which delivery service has the initials U,P and S.
Apparently, you'll get the damn boots when they feel like it and not a moment before, missy!
UPS - Unreliable Postal System. Every time I send my kids something they always manage to goof it up or let the package get soaked including the contents inside.
Your UPS people really suck. We live on a country road with fencing and gates so UPS cant get in. They honk, they wave, they holler, they leave packages on our side of the fence. Your UPS needs some lessons from our UPS. Some intra office training is definitely in order.
Hope you get your boots!
Oh the joys of UPS. Hope you get your boots.
I hate UPS. I'm convinced they don't have souls.
that is so awful about your boots. so sorry for your loss.
Hoo boy. That UPS thing is annoying as hell. Someone bought me one of those bouncy hang-the-baby-from-the-door-frame thingys for my baby shower four years ago and because I wasn't home to receive it, it's out there somewhere in shipping purgatory. Hope you get your shoes.
sometimes I just want to leave them a note that says leave the effing package or I will hunt you down and destroy you.
Our UPS guy won't get out of the truck - he sits and beeps the horn until I go out to him. Apparently our killer dogs (the largest of which weighs 19lbs) frighten him too much.
I've had the same thing with Canada Post deliveries. It's like they breath on the door and expect you to answer. WTF?
I hope your boots find you!