I bet I know how they're planning to ship my million dollars: Random Tuesday Thoughts


So! It's Tuesday.

What's new with you?

I just got an email. All it said was this:

You have won £1,000,000 pounds Reply us your Name:Country:Sex

It's like they're not even trying anymore. All the passion has gone out of the relationship, I tell ya.

I have a bone to pick with a certain delivery company. I won't say who, but their initials are U, P, and S.

What the fuck, guys? You attempted to deliver my package, and we weren't home. So you left a polite little note saying you'd try again the following day, between 2 & 5, or after 5. I made sure hubby was home at 2.

You showed up at 12:30. And left another little note, saying you'd try again the following day, between 2 & 5, or after 5. Hubby was home all day and yet, when I got home from work, there it was, your pretty yellow note saying that this had been your final attempt (again, at 12:20, do you need a fucking watch?), and you were shipping my package back. Hello? You can cough politely outside our door and the dog loses her mind, so you couldn't have tried that hard to deliver my Earth boots.

Mama needs her footwear.

So I logged on to your website to see if I could pick them up at your store but no, I got nothing but error messages. I called your phone number and a lovely automaton informed me that because there were brokerage fees owing, for some reason that means they have to be shipped straight back. That very same day. She asked if I needed to hear that information again, and I said "No! I need you to not fucking ship them back!"

Stepford Customer Service replied, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that."

Clearly. I can't seem to speak to a human and my crack shoe dealer tells me that was the LAST PAIR. They will try to ship them back to me but can't guarantee anything.

What are the chances they'll use the same fucking shipping company?

Anyway. Happy Thoughts! Pretty Things! Gorgeous illustrations by my friend Akiko!

I just realized I only have a partial-feed thingy going on this blog. Yeah, I have this interwebby dealie mastered.

The program of stretches and strength-training exercises that Trainer Lady gave me is like, 15 pages long. I did it yesterday. Can't I be fixed now?

I should probably go do that. What's random (or ranty) in your world? Link up, interwebby people!