Anyway, everybody knows creeps don't have access to the INTERNET

I've spent the last couple of weeks trying to find part-time daycare for my son. It's like tracking down the last fucking unicorn or comfortable pantyhose. It does not exist. He's been on the list for a couple of daycare centres for over a year and a half, but they don't take part-timers his age. And everyone else I've called either has no room, no room for his age, or they don't take part-timers either.

Or they just don't ever fucking call back. Which presumably means they don't have a spot, but I've spent a lot of time checking my cel phone, sitting by my cel phone, compulsively checking my email, thinking well surely they're busy with children it'll take a day or two, thinking but they seem perfect, surely they're going to call and offer an interview, for the luvva god why don't they call why don't they like me I'm likeable please please like me WAAAAAAAHHHHH!


Anyway, I've been searching a lot of home daycares on a local classifieds website. Dayhomes seem to be abundant and occasionally one will call me back. The Office Ninja was bemoaning her own daycare woes, trying to find somewhere to stash her 7-year-old after school, so I suggested the website (and dayhomes) to her.

She looked at me like I'd suggested her kid turn a few tricks while he waited.

"Just...somebody's house? Off a classifieds website??"


"That seems....really weird and creepy," she informed me, with a look of utter disdain.

"Oh? My brother and I did that all through elementary school. A woman who lived close to the school, we just went there for lunch and after school," I offered.

"And did your mom find her off a classifieds website?" the Office Ninja demanded, with about as much disdain as a person could feasibly cram into one sentence.

" She found her when I fell off a jungle gym in the playground and cracked my head, and I was crying so the daycare lady came out and took me into her house to call my Mom. Which, in this day and age, WOULD be creepy. But I'm sure if the website had existed back then with the dinosaurs, my Mom would be looking on it. Where would YOU look to find home daycares?"

"The newspaper," she informed me with a sniff.

Oh. Well, naturally. Because pedophiles who can afford the 30 bucks for a newspaper ad are so much less creepy than the ones who post on website classifieds?

(Does anyone even READ the newspaper anymore?)