It's amazing they let me procreate at all, really
Wednesday, September 16, 2009 at 8:00PM So I was going to sit down this evening and write the next post in the ex-boyfriend series, except that I had this...DAY...today. You know the type. I spent the majority of my afternoon dealing with a client who I will not go into much detail about. I will simply say that her last name rhymes with Penis, and she has clearly been so scarred by that tragic coincidence that it has rendered her a lying, shrewish, demanding bitch who is full of self-loathing, and completely incapable of carrying on a civil conversation without mentioning at least three times that people are NOT supposed to call her on her work cel phone, and why can't they just manage to get along without her very important self?
Her: "Well, it's about TIME you got it right. They are supposed to be WHITE. All the other ones are WHITE. I don't know why that was so hard, I never agreed to the GREY, they're obviously WHITE."
Me: (thinks) Why don't we have video surveillance so I could play you the tape of you agreeing to the GREY?
Her: (phone rings) "Why do they keep calling me on this phone? They're not supposed to. Can't they figure it out on their own?"
Me: (mutters) "I bet you wouldn't be such a bitch if your name didn't rhyme with penis."
Her: "WHAT?"
Me: (brightly) "I said 'Have a nice day, Mrs. Lenus'!"
(Yes, I am actually 8 years old)
Then shortly before I was ready to leave for the day I got a text from my hairdresser, inquiring as to whether I might have forgotten that I was supposed to be sitting in her chair at that very instant?
Shit.
Two minutes after THAT I got a text from hubby saying "Um, the crockpot isn't actually turned ON...". Great. Now I have split ends AND a whole raw chicken that has been sitting on my kitchen counter for eight hours.
And then Trainer Lady worked me over. This isn't actually a bad thing, as she's a physio trainer and she's trying to help me overcome my gimpy back, so I can get back to working out or maybe even running again. But this was my initial assessment, and a few simple tests and some really painful stretches pointed out just HOW gimpy I actually am.
So now I'm sitting here with a glass of wine and a box of Robax Platinum.
The end.
Reader Comments (22)
Been there, done that! I have even gone to work wearing the same type of shoe only a different color on each foot...oops.
Red or white with the Robax? Or maybe a fruity white zinfandel?
I don't know which Robaxacet I use, but it's the one that uses acetaminophen for pain relief... then I just chase that with an ibuprofen.
A nurse friend of mine once told me that the combination of acetaminophen & ibuprofen was as effective as Tylenol 3 (with codein), so now that's what I do everytime. A single regular strength of each cures all.
LOL! You crack me up!
Yum, salmonella in a slow cooker is one of my family's favorite's...good idea to bag the coq and go straight for the vin.
C'mon over and see my picture..it might make you laugh after your rotten day...
Sounds like you needed the wine after that day.
I can see how having a last name that rhymes with penis would cause lifetime scarring. I'm pretty sure high school had to be hell. But no excuse for being such a bitch!
I've done the salmonella crockpot too! Came home expecting delicious smells and it was just sitting there not even plugged in. Shit!
jesus christ woman. i hope you finshed that wine.
There are so many morals to this story I don't know where to begin..
That sounds like one hellatious day.
I hate days like that. We lost power once while I had the crock pot going. And got power back all while we were away at work. I was too scared to even check the food to see if it was cooked.
Well the day really sucked but that combo for dinner must have made for a groovy evening (ooops showing my age)
God, I hate those days.
I also kinda hate cellphones. I think they've made everybody think they are a little more important than they are.
I'm sorry your day sucked, but holy SHIT that post was funny. I'm laughing my ass off in my stupid hallway and I can't even tell them why or I'll get busted reading blogs on work time.
Lovely story, my dear. Hope today was better for you. Mrs. Lenus can suck it! Ha ha ha!
That was a shitty day, sorry. Maybe you could soak your split ends in marinated day old chicken juice? Yay for trainer lady.
Wow, what a day!! I've had a few days like those myself. Glad you made it through and were able to decompress some.
Have a great day,
Raven
Mrs. Lenus, suck a penis.
na na na na na na.
At least you aren't suffering from a terrible haircut? Is her first name Enice? She sounds like she sucks so bad!
Hope the weekend improved!
wow, fun times....
sometimes life forces you to be an 8-yr-old and you are in no way held at fault for this!
Funny about the crockpot chicken incident - this is a sign that you should call in sick one day and do nothing but lounge and read and maybe drink a few before anyone finds out.
I love acting like an eight year old on days when people act much younger than that!