I didn't use a sniper rifle on the mouse but I'm ready to upgrade: Random Tuesday Thoughts
Tuesday, September 15, 2009 at 4:57AM 
So, it's Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday. It's kind of like Marsha Marsha Marsha, but far less annoying. Especially now that there's Random Tuesday Thoughts! Want to play? Grab the button, spew your own brain bits and bobs, and link up!
My back problems have not improved - in fact, it's gotten worse. So I'm in the market for a new back and probably a hip.
(The black market. Obviously.)
I'm going to need a lot of extra cash to fund this little endeavour. The only way I can think of to make that much money at once is to a) turn a lot of tricks or b) live the dream and become an assassin. Option A is kind of out, because of the whole hip thing (also the whole "I'm supposed to be someone's wife and mother and an upstanding citizen" thing, but mostly the hip), so does anybody have someone they need whacked?
Hm. Actually, if I'm offing people anyway...and I make sure it's a head shot and not through the torso...
You know what? Never mind.
Last week Valentina and I got bored and crabby at work, so we decided to go on a Slurpee run.
(We go on a LOT of Slurpee runs.)
I drove and when we got back to the vehicle with our purchases, I had to clear the debris out of the console to make room for the Slurpees
because I'm a fucking slob and my car is a contaminated zone. I picked up a Tim Horton's Ice Capp cup, in which there was about 2" of liquid. Oh, and also a dead mouse.Despite my status as Triumphant Mouse Hunter, I am still grossed out by this. I mean, what if I had unthinkingly taken a sip? What if it was there the whole time?
Bleaaaaaahhhhuhuuhuuhuhuuuhuhuuhuh.
I don't think I've ever mentioned that Valentina and I work for the same company, but Valentina and I work for the same company. I worked there first, but she's worked there longer. Whee! Fun with math!
Animals. With lightsabers. Need I say more?
The voting seems pretty evenly divided on yesterday's post ("what project should Keely tackle and blog about?"). I would just like to reiterate at this point that I'm a complete godless heathen, so the singing in a gospel choir thing might be...awkward. Or burst-into-flamesy. Either way, it'll probably be good video.
And...that is all. Randomize and link up! Oh, and leave a comment if you want someone whacked. I'm pretty sure that would never stand up in a court of law.
Reader Comments (69)
Get a PayPal account... I'll throw some money your way. I just need you to snub out one particular Polish woodworker.
Oh, and the "Animals with Lightsabers" ... classic!
Ewwwwww! OK, let me just say I'm glad you took the high road and didn't take a picture of the dead mouse. Although payback for my spider picture last week that grossed you out would have been in order. ;)
Hope your back and hip feel better soon - or that you find something comparable on the black market. ;)
Happy RTT! :)
a dead mouse in there?!? oh boy, that's a hazard of nature telling you to clean that car for once:)))
Happy Tuesday and hope your back gets better!
ohmyfuckingod a dead mouse in your car?! they are coming for you, man.
and maybe you could sell a kidney on the black market to fund your black market back. does the black market have a barter system?
I have a list of people I'd like whacked....do you want it alphabetically or in order of hate-ness. ;-D
I got really freaked out by your mouse. Then I got to thinking, why don't you hear of more mice in cars? Do I have mice in my car? I mean, why not, right, there are all kinds of cracks and crevices that a mouse can get into in a car. Especially old cars, with damage. Thank God I have a new car, but I was actually thinking of going camping, and sleeping in that thing. And what if I rolled over and thought I was giving my dog a hug, and it turned out to be a rat, instead? I mean, they're about the same size.
I really want you to take pictures of your car and email them to me. I need to get a proper visual for this. Also, I wish you had of taken a picture of that mouse in your Timmy's cup. My daughter is a supervisor at Timmy's and she would have shit if I posted that on her facebook page. You know, 'cause I'm awesome like that.
I hear you can get discounts on hips over here, interested? :D
Eeeewwwwwww on that dead mouse!!!
LOL @ animals with lightsabers... :D
I want this girl who said I had a big nose whacked, how about it? :D LOL
If you find that new hip, let me know, I need one too. Maybe they will have a two for one deal :-)
There are plenty of people I want whacked but I'm going to man up and do it myself. Thanks for the offer but I wouldn't want to deprive X of a mother since you'd probably land in jail for whacking someone you don't even know. Besides, jail sounds peaceful so I'll take my chances.
Uh, a dead mouse IN YOUR CAR? What the fuck?
Forget Stuart Little, mice are just creepy nasty little buggars. I think I probably would have pushed the car into the nearest lake/river and claimed it was an accident.
Aren't you worried there's something else in there??
Whatever you had in the cup before said dead mouse wandered in, yeah, you should probably stop drinking it. That was an all out warning.
If you happen to find a new hip and back on the black market, could you share your source? I'm in need of those too!
Dead mouse in the car huh? I'm surprised that we haven't found one in ours, it's always such a mess. I always say that if there's a WWIII my kids and I will survive it from being exposed to so many toxins on a daily basis!!
Have a great Tuesday!
Raven
Living the dream and becoming an assasin. That is awesome. I hope you work out your back and hip problems some how assasin or not.
I have a MIL whose funeral I'm dying to attend...
If Stacy ever decides she wants the whole Blue Monkey Butt blog thing all to herself a dead mouse in my car in a cup of some leftoverr drink I had been drinking would really do it for me. You wouldn't even need a bullet. The heart attack would do me in.
I'll trade your back and hip for my faulty ovaries. They keep getting cysts and bursting and then causing me extreme pain that requires multiple prescriptions of Percocet. Hmmm...Percocet..never mind.
WELL. I just spent about 30 minutes on THAT website. Animals + lightsabers = Good Time. AWESOME.
Hubbie found a mouse in my radiator in my van once. I suspect he was trying to get to the snacks the kids dropped. My BIL once said our van smelled like we drove around with a bunch of monkeys but I have to ask how would he know what a van full of monkeys smelled like?
The lightsabers are awesome! but not many commenters.
I'm still trying to figure out how the dead mouse got into the cup. Crazy.
Can't think of someone I would want whacked at the moment but I'm sure as the day goes on I'll think of someone.
I believe that bursting into flames while singing in a gospel choir is actually a sign of the Lord's favor.
Hm, first soliciting potential customers to whack others and then admitting to having a dead mouse in your car...
Backing away VEEEEERRRRRRRRYYYYY slowly now...
OooooooOOOO, flamesies.... I vote for that one!
And that dead mouse in YOUR CAR thing is so gross! What the ???? I think I might have a heart attack if I was driving along and a mouse ran across the floor of my car. And the idea that it might of been there when you actually drank out of it... ???? I am traumatized.
Good luck with your back. Maybe God will help you out with it if you join the choir!
**shudder**
Not sure what I would have done about the mouse.
We had a mouse scare in our house last night, the kitten was going absolutely nuts trying to get under The Girl's desk, but when I got the flashlight, I couldn't find anything. The Girl was convinced it was a mouse, and I can't say I didn't think the same thing, but somehow I convinced her to go to bed anyway. I didn't sleep, but she did.
I'm calling in sick so I can clean out my car. Ew. That is just too gross.
A MOUSE IN YOUR CAR!!!!!! Arrrrgggghhhhh!!!! I would be scared to drive down the road in fear that a mouse would jump on me. Did you leave the window open or something?
And the whole bursting into flames things just really makes the gospel choir video all the more appealing. Just be sure to wear a flame retardent suit. You're a super hero so you should have one of those laying around.
Bet your mouse wished he'd had his lightsaber