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    « I didn't use a sniper rifle on the mouse but I'm ready to upgrade: Random Tuesday Thoughts | Main | Ex-Boyfriend Greatest Hits: A series in, um, let's say 5 parts »

    Yes, generally I DO need someone to tell me what to do

    A while back I saw the movie Julie & Julia with FoN. The book was very endearing, you should definitely read it. I'd recommend the movie if you really, literally, absolutely have nothing else to do. Like, your chequebook is balanced and the recycling is sorted and you've taught your dog to let himself out and take himself for a walk.

    Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, if you haven't seen it or read the book (did I mention you should read the book, not see the movie?), is that it's about a blogger. A woman who cooks her way through Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking over the course of a year, and blogs about it.

    (And then she turned it into a book. Sheer. Genius.)

    I remember thinking back to that book when I started this blog, and thinking that I should really have something like that, some kind of challenge or 'theme'. Rather than just yammering on about nothing. Because I think Seinfeld already did that. But I never came up with a good goal, so I just started with the yammering. (You're welcome.)

    The movie reminded me, obviously. And I still can't come up with a good theme. But a while back I posted my List of Things to do Before I Die, so in the interest of keeping you people entertained, I'm going to pick one and just launch into it. We're kind of broke right now, so unless you want to read a whole series of posts about fundraisers so I can go to Egypt, here's what's in the running:

    #23, Learn to 'sideways stop' on hockey skates (the potential for many a bruised butt in this one. No, I won't post pictures)

    #25, Learn sign language (I can already flip you off! I'm a frigging natural)

    #36, See a ghost (I could get Frogmama's hubby to help me with this one)

    #44, Trace my family tree (Oh holy crap wouldn't THAT be thrilling for y'all? WE MIGHT BE RELATED. Scarier than the ghost)

    #108, Take over a small island in a bloodless coup. Use the natives as foot soldiers in my bid to conquer the world

    (How did THAT get in there?)

    or #61, Sing in a gospel choir.

    And, because I'm incapable of making any kind of decision without asking the Internet first, I need your vote. I'd leave your vote in a comment, because I'll probably never get around to making a poll. Wait, will I?

    (Asks the internet)

    Nope. Please comment.

    Reader Comments (38)

    Become a Roller Derby girl and tell us all about your adventures as The Un Mom - Roller Derby Queen!

    That's what I think you should do.


    September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAn Open Heart

    Seeing as I would be first in line to sign up as one of your minions, I think you know which one I would vote for..

    September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSprite's Keeper

    I'd go with the bloodless coup. I'd definitely follow you for that. Think of the sponsors you could pick up? Dooce has American Apparel, you could have Haliburton.

    September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaptain Dumbass

    God, those are HARD. Learn sign language, for example? That's going to take awhile. I vote for the ghost one, mainly because you've got to get someone else to do it for you (point out ghost, be conduit for ghost, what have you).

    September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPerpetua

    obviously you should trace your family tree.

    it will provide with countless hours of free entertainment.

    unless you find out your mother is really your sister.

    that would be kind of awkward.


    September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPrincess Andy

    I'm voting for trace the family tree. Since I already know a little bit about your family history, I'm positive updates on that little project will be facinating. Think of all the crazy shit you could dig up! And then exploit for the world to read.

    September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFoN

    Sideways stop. And I'm okay with you not posting pictures of your bruised butt, but how about just pics of the bruising process? Or video? Video would be better.

    And by the way, I'd nix #36 from that list if I were you, because I'm thinking that whole "see a ghost" thing, it's not really up to you, is it? I mean, first there's gotta be a ghost, then it has to decide to advertise it's presence in a visible manner (as opposed to just flinging furniture around or what have you). And it has to do it in where you can see it. Totally up to the ghost, you see? So then if it didn't decide to follow these instructions you'd be a failure because this one thing didn't get crossed of your list even though you tried your damndest to woo Casper into your crosshairs.

    (Unless you're talking cut-holes-in-the-bedsheets ghosts. Then I think you'd be okay.)

    September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

    Tracing your family tree could be intriguing. I obsessed over for about a week, but when I managed to trace two different branches of my family all the way back to John of Gaunt, I realized that I was my own great, great, great (add about 14 more greats) cousin, and it kind of weirded me out.

    I guess I vote for the gospel choir. Mostly because I want to sing in a gospel choir and I can live vicariously through you.

    September 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergretchen

    My vote is for you to sing in a gospel choir, provide us with a YouTube video. Whereon you will become a major YouTube star a la Fred videos, and then you can sign ME up as your manager and we'll take the UnMom show on the road.

    We'll be rich, I tell ya. RICH.

    Well at least until the ZA. (ahem)

    September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterQuirkyloon

    Gospel choir. I don't think this choice needs any explaining. Just do it.

    September 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCara

    You know, I think the bloodless coup would be much more fun to read about over time. I've voting for that!

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSnooker

    I'm all for coups that are bloodless. Also, stopping on hockey skates sounds cool.

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

    Agree that the bloodless coup would be the most interesting to read about, and if I can be a visiting dignitary some time on island sometime, all the better.
    And take it from someone that has heard and felt a ghost (never seen one, sorry), it is CREEPY.

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary Anne

    I'm all about the ghost (especially if you could get evidence on video). Just be careful not to get possessed or anything. Then again, an exorcism would make for great blog fodder. ;)

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

    Bloodless coup sounds like a winner. I'll help you out with the logistics. Project management is what I do. Wait, that island will be tropical right?

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

    I go with bloodless coup. My guess is the descriptions would be great!

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBaby News

    I say sign language (it is SO easy really for basic stuff. If babies can do it...)
    Or trace your family history. I've always wanted to do mine...and my family is French Canadian/Scottish...You never know.

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlogging Mama Andrea

    Have you read "the next thing on my list?"

    learning that language might work, go for french. LOL

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkyooty

    Well my vote depends on whether or not we get to see a video of you singing in the gospel choir.

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

    See a ghost. See a ghost! Even if you don't see one, reading about your attempt would be very entertaining.

    I am totally stealing this idea for blogposts 'cause it is a good 'un.

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

    The bloodless coup would be most interesting! But I am totally seconding "See a ghost. See a ghost! " I REALLY think that would be funny!

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngel

    Whatever you do, remember, we demand video as evidence. Youtube or it never happened, yo.

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFiggy

    Hey, if you're abandoning #108, I'll be MORE than happy to take it for myself. MORE. THAN. HAPPY.

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJan

    I liked #108...I could send you Abby as and attack goat. She is good at butting.

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPricilla

    Could you do a combo activity, maybe use sign language to communicate with a ghost? Or sideways stop on hockey skates while singing gospel songs?

    September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrsbear

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