What people are googling RIGHT THIS MINUTE

(And they're all clearly feeling more creative than me, because I have to steal their genius to phone in a blog post)

1. "jealous" "i want to be her" (who doesn't?)

2. "Can I rent Universal Studios for my birthday?" (The bigger question is, can you rent it for MINE?)

3. "do baby spiders die if you kill their mom" (I fucking hope so)

4. "how to spell connoisseur" (uh...you just did)

5. "i dropped a plastic lid down my drain" (Holy crap! SO DID I!)

6. "I'm afraid to take my pants off" (Do you think google is going to do it for you? Can you be more specific as to the nature of your conundrum? Really, we need deets if we're going to help you.)

7. "Is it normal for mom to leave toddler and go to rock concert" (Yes, it is, okay? I bet this was my fucking MIL)

8. "regret threesome" (Perhaps you should have thought of that earlier. Whore.)

9. "to my neighbour, I saw you this morning take a shit in the backyard" (I think you have the wrong blog. You probably want Kat's Dear So and So)

10. "twilight - something smells like fish" (Uh, I said it stunk. I don't think I was that specific)

11. "truth about pinecone extract" (I...don't even know what you're looking for. Is there some pinecone conspiracy I'm unaware of?)

12. "what is space time continuum explanation for kids" (...y'all are taking that 'Baby Einstein' thing WAY too literally)

13. "whoever is reading this, there is a fly that is bothering the heck out of me right now..."

I'm sorry to hear that. And next time, if you want to get on this blog, you should probably swear more.

Also, in other news, the winner of the Must Have Mom Manual book giveaway is the lovely Ane Fallarme from Life According to Me. Yay, Ane! Take a bow!

Thank you so much to Maternal Spark for hosting this little get-together, and to the authors Sara and Stephanie for just being all round awesome. Let's do it again sometime!