I swear there was a time I could travel without even having to check any luggage

I had a lovely little phoned in "Google Analytics" post all scheduled and ready to go, but suddenly I find myself unable to sleep. Wide fucking awake. And then I remember, oh, hey! I guzzled an entire Coke slurpee less than an hour ago. So not only am I wide awake, but excessively flatulent as well. You're welcome.

Anyway, when caffeine-induced insomnia strikes, brain will wander. And right now my brain is wandering forward a week to our upcoming vacation. And then brain is freaking out a little. Okay, a lot.

See, we're terrible parents and we don't really take our child anywhere. He's never been on a plane, let alone one that will be TAKING OFF, and one that will be DEPARTING RIGHT AT NAP TIME. So really, that has enormous potential to go badly, don't you think?

And the primary reason we're going to Vancouver is to visit some friends, with whom we intended to stay. When I called to confirm that the invitation was still standing, my friend said "Of course!" and then added casually, "But my inlaws will be here as well so as long as you don't mind sleeping in the living room."

Which, of course, we don't, except that I did a quick mental calculation and came to the conclusion that six adults and three children (and a dog and 3 cats) in a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house ALSO has the potential to go badly.

We'll be getting a hotel room. (Which mostly only has the potential to end expensively.)

A hotel room means we have to bring a Pack n' Play, which brings the toddler accessories up to, oh, about a metric tonne, and means we can't rent a car so we'll be bussing it with a toddler that likes to dart into traffic and OMG WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T WE JUST STAY HOME.

Sob.

So, um...yeah. That wasn't much of a post either. Don't worry, I'll still post the whacky google searches. Probably tomorrow, along with the winner of the Must Have Mom Manual giveaway. Because nothing says "parenting resource book" like baby spiders and threesomes.