Non sequiturs, or, Evolutionary U-Turns Sometimes Make the Best Conversationalists
Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 5:47AM Overheard in the grocery store line-up:
Dude 1: "Yeah, so, it's when the guy just, whoop! Flicks his hockey stick between your legs. Like, lifts your sack and smacks you underneath. Man, that hurts."
Dude 2: "Yeah."
Dude 1: "Just, y'know, a quick hit. Fuck that hurts. You have no idea how much that hurts."
Dude 2: "Yeah I do."
Dude 1: "Oh, yeah, right. I guess you would know, huh?"
Dude 2 (reading newspaper headline): "'One Million Kenyans Face Starvation'. Poor Kenyans."
Dude 1: "Enh. Kenyans. Whatever. They're all reincarnated, over and over. The entire population of Kenya."
Dude 2 (sings, loudly and tunelessly): "The llliiiiooons...in Keennnyaaaa...come to Keennnyyaaaa...we have llliiioooonss...."
Me (thinking): So...which aisle of the grocery store do they sell recreational narcotics? Because I somehow overlooked it.
Reader Comments (28)
That bit about the "lllliiiioooons". cracked me up.
I don't hear anything good like that when I'm at the store...Guess I better move to Canada next.
i don't even know what to say about all that.
Im not even mad, thats amazing!
Okay, well, I thought they were being insensitive about the Kenyans and then when they started singing the song, it made me laugh. So I'm not sure how to feel?
But thanks for this.
OMG no kidding!! Once you find them, let me know where in the grocery store those recreational narcotics are cuz, well, yeah...
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intro to frosh week?
I'm pretty sure those were inhaled before they came to the store. That is why their cart was loaded with cheetos.
congratulations. i no longer adore ALL Canadians. just you and kyooty and FoN and maybe a few more.
Um, yeah. I don't even know.
Great. You get stuck near the druggie conversationalists and I get stuck behind the old lady who is ready and willing to fight over a lousy five cent coupon.
My grocery shopping is not half as entertaining. Blame the hockey stick thing on being in Canada. You'd never hear that down here in Cleveland.
Maybe the latter part of the conversation is a result of too many smacks in the junk.
Weeeeellll, it has been said that mens' brains are in their erm, parts so maybe those hits they took impaired their thought processes.
Well, given where most guy's brains are, I am gonna say that those two suffered way too much damage with those hockey sticks.
apparently canadian supermarkets are waaay more interesting than american ones. i may move there for the sheer entertainment value.
Too many hits in the family goods apparently.
This proves the long standing rumors about male brains being directly connected to the nether regions.
Kenyans are all reincarnated?! Brilliant stuff! And where in the hell do you go shopping - can I come?
Once you stop laughing at their conversation, can I trouble you to pop over to my place; I'm in desperate need of help of advice ASAP! x
What the... druggies crack me up. xD
Dude.
Do the Kenyans hang out with the Barbiyans? I never said I was PC lol!
You Canadians have the best stores. Here? Not so much.
I think all of the blood must have gone to his balls when he got hit with the hockey stick. It's hard to think when you don't have blood in your brain.
My friends and I always referred to it as the graze, and it does hurt like hell.
I want some of those narcotics...