Naked Lunch, mmmm, lunch: Random Tuesday Thoughts
Tuesday, August 11, 2009 at 4:00AM Still on vacay, y'all. Right about now I'm probably dealing with a toddler that's been awake for 36 hours, AREN'T YOU JEALOUS? I recruited the lovely Casey from Half As Good As You to make you feel at home on this random, random Tuesday. Yes, there is still a naked theme around here, but you guys aren't obliged to follow it. And remember! You can't spell RANDOM without BADGER SEQUINS BRATWURST UNICORN!
I was completely honoured to be hosting this week’s RTT until I heard that there was a required naked theme. Usually someone has to buy me at least one drink to get me naked but Keely didn’t even offer. Since I’m a sucker for all things Canadian, I’ll get naked and start typing.
My kid and I were at the store yesterday when my stomach started churning. I instantly regretted having that second cup of coffee and had to act quickly to get to home base in time. I didn’t think I was gonna make it so I used my phone-a-friend and called the husband for backup. He met me in the garage and unloaded the kid while I ran in the house and pulled off one of the most impressive (naked from the waste down) photo finishes to date.
Sometimes I wonder why I share such stories with you guys and then I remember it’s why you (naked, admit it) people keep coming back.
I find (naked) rotisserie chicken to be both delicious and disgusting. You know that little hole where they skewered it? I can’t get past it. I KNOW it’s not a (naked) chicken butthole but every time I come across it, my subconscious takes over and I can’t eat any more.
I’ve been watching Sex and the City reruns lately since there’s nothing else on. I find it fascinating that (naked or clothed) Sarah Jessica Parker can go from being butt ugly to insanely hot in a split second. It’s like a hidden super power and I want it.
Our household recently embarked on project Matching Sippy Cup. We gathered every single fucking cup and lid in the residence and threw all of the mismatched ones away. Then we bought several more of the matching kind to replace the pitched ones. I’m not sure which part makes me more of a loser, the fact that I spent an afternoon on sippy cup maintenance or the fact that not having to rifle through a drawer of mismatched lids is the highlight of my life (even more so than being naked).
I recently became immune to two different kinds of chap stick. I finally got so frustrated with licking my insanely (naked) dry lips that I broke out the leftover nipple cream from when I was nursing. Now my lips are soft-like-(naked)boob.
Blowjob. Anal. Porn. I just wanted to leave Keely with some interesting Google search terms while she’s away. Don't say I never gave you anything, Keely.
That’s all the nakedness I can conjure up for now. I can’t suck my (naked) gut in any longer. Thanks to Keely for letting me stop by, hopefully she’s enjoying her water skiing trip at the local nudy resort. I expect lots of (naked) pictures when she returns.
Reader Comments (61)
Blow Job, Naked, Porn? You been hacking into my system? LMAO Funny random thoughts!
Well, shit - there was a theme this week? Oh, she probably mentioned it last week, I just forgot. You're lucky I remember to get dressed.
If I mention nudity in the comments here, does that count? No? I said the word "penis" - twice - in my RTT post this week. Surely that counts for something.
I need more coffee...
I think the same thing about (naked) rotisserie chicken...*whew!* nice to know I'm not the only one with a warped mind... ;)
It is amazing how SJP can go from butt ugly to insanely hot in a split second...I want that super power, too.
Sippy cup maintenance isn't wasted time, it's a necessary evil. If you want a happy toddler and peace of mind, that is. Gives you more time to be naked. ;)
Soft-like-(naked)boob lips...priceless!
Great job on the guest post, Casey! Especially the Google search terms - Keely will be so proud! ;)
Now that's some great tactical thinking, calling for backup.
Great Post!
SJP made me a believer in the "having a better side" for photo ops. Because all she has to do to facilitate these ultimate make-overs is turn her face. I'm convinced it's natural and has nothing to do with make-up artists.
I want some too! (Preferably clothed.)
Yep, I would say you did justice by Keely. Great post, and nakedness. I didn't get the naked theme memo. Oh well.
Great guest post and random (naked) thoughts!
I have that thing about Sarah Jessica Parker too...I don't get how she does that either.
Nice, now you know she will invite you back. LOL! Now go get dressed!
Once again I'm not up to speed and I missed the naked theme. Really, the story of my life. My husband hates SJP, he says she's ugly all the time. Good job on the sippy cups. Hey, if it makes you happy, who are we to judge?
Great guest posting Casey!
great you posted about naked, and I posted about crap. HA.
hilarious post!!
Naked naked-y, nekkid, nude, full frontal, and birthday suit.
Now that that's out of the way. Why are you watching SATC? Family Guy is on almost every half hour on SOME channel guaranteed to make you smile!
I can't eat rotisserie chicken with or without a butthole. You have to strip pieces off of it...I'm naked nauseous now.
You think you fixed your Sippy Cup issues? You merely set yourself up for a repeat of the same 6 months from now. ;)
Yeah, you guys don't even want to see the post I submitted. You might see it some day, but you'd need a shield to protect yourself from the blast of love that would hit this blog in the face.
NAKED
I will unfortunately be joining you on the sippy cup brigade as my boy has managed to spill milk the last 3 times I mop...just hours/minutes after the floors got their sexy back.
Glad you mention the SJP hot-dog phenomenon. What's with that?! The only other one to pull that off as successfully is.....ummm, yeah, I got nothing. Because nobody else can swing that crazy act.
And just so you aren't alone in sharing a "poop scare" story, I will explain that it is a common enough event that my friends and I dubbed those "poop scares" during college and would call the troops anytime one occurred. You are lucky to have made it, as adding a toddler or two to the mix, can totally devastate your poop-timing-mojo.
Great to see you here today, Casey! It saved me a click but still gave me the laughs.
no kidding about Sarah Jessica..it's very odd. The episode where she is on the cover of the mag for being single is a HORRIBLE picture of her...yuck.
That was so nice of you; leaving Keely with some excellent search terms.
Sippy cup maintenance, LOL!
I get the sippy cup thing. And SJP? I'm assuming you mean she looks hot for her, seeing as how she's just not hot.
Excellent search terms!
I'm jealous of SJP's super power too!! It's down right creepy.
Nice RTT hosting - way to hold down the fort!
OMG, I am cracking up! When I had my last baby, I demanded that all bottles match because I refused to spend time matching up bottles and nipples...Nipples, there's another great search term...
Too funny about SJP. I couldn't agree more.
Casey did you realize you left your webcam on while typing? Girl get a tan you live in FL! ~wink~ Oh BTW Nice Boobs!! lol
Loved your nakedness and now I feel a bit dirty so I'm off to take a shower.... Naked!!!
mmm like there's any other way to take one..lol well sometimes I do take a snorkel and flippers, just sayin'...
you want fries with that? ;)
Oh a photo finish eh? maybe you could keep that photo to yourself. :)