Things you shouldn't do when your girlfriend or boyfriend says "I love you" for the first time

1. Wait 3 days before saying it back, "just to fuck with them".

2. Say "I know."

3. Reply with, "Elephant Shoes, too".

4. If it's over the phone, don't use the excuse "Um, yeah....I'm in a room full of other guys?" to not say it back.

5. Say "That's nice!"

6. Start looking at your watch and checking your (fictional) pager nervously.

7. Jump straight to, "Great! I want 8 kids, how about you?"

8. Whine, "If you really loved me you'd give me head."

(It's entirely possible that I've been the recipient of all or most of those responses at some point. Maybe. Not from hubby, which is one of the many reasons why HE WINS).

(Posted at the implied request of Sprite's Keeper, in conjunction with this week's Spin Cycle)