I'm rationalizing that chocolate cupcake, can you tell?
Monday, June 29, 2009 at 6:08AM Body image is a weird thing.
I mean, on any given day, I can look in the mirror and think "Wow, I'm lookin' pretty good!", "OMG when did I get so wide?" and "Um, well, maybe if I wore the right shirt...". All within the space of hours. And it doesn't seem to bear any significant relation to how I feel, or what I ate, or how much time I put in on the treadmill.
Maybe it's the lighting?
We all put considerable mental effort towards worrying about how we appear to other people. Yet we have little to no control over their impressions. Sure, clean and well-cut clothing is always more favorable than the comfy XXL university sweatshirt that the dog has been sleeping on. And it might do you well to not look like you just rolled out of a ditch. But if someone is going to fixate on your saddlebags, and decide you're a slovenly mess based on THAT, then that's what they're going to do, no matter how much you invest in Spanx.
But they're equally likely to notice your sea-green eyes, or your radiant skin. Or, ohIdon'tknow, your fabulous personality.
And they're even more likely to not notice you at all, because they're busy worrying about what people think THEY look like.
I recently came across this set of photographs on JPG. It's a clever, though possibly heavy-handed, series of posed photos showing Disney Princesses and how they might have ended up in a more realistic scenario. I have a huge problem with the "princessification" of our female youth, so I think they're funny.
But I found it really interesting that while all the photos got some comments and reaction, the one that caused the most kerfuffle was the one showing Red Riding Hood as a fatty, walking through the woods slugging back a soda and carrying a basket of french fries. Aside from the fact that Riding Hood isn't actually a princess, the original fairy tale was a moral lesson about making poor choices - an unaccompanied girl walking through the woods alone and talking to strangers. Making the artistic interpretation that she would choose to overindulge in all the food she was carrying for Grandma isn't a huge leap.
But the comments section is awash with outrage over the portrayal, that it's perpetuating the "stereotype" that junk food makes you fat, that it's all a big conspiracy and we're genetically predisposed to be skinny or chubby and there isn't fuck all we can do about it.
And yes, genetics does have something to do with it and yes, a good art piece does indeed spark reactions both good and bad. But all the time you wasted defending WHY you're overweight or unhealthy? You could have: played with your kids. Gone for a walk. Watched a sunset. Volunteered at a soup kitchen. Learned an instrument. Helped your neighbour move a fridge. Hugged your dog.
So all of this is just a lengthy way of saying I'm still ignoring the number on the scale (though I know what it is) and trying to focus on what this body of mine can do, not what it isn't. I have days that I lose sight of that, but most days I know: I can lift my son to the ceiling 4 times without worrying I will drop him. I can do 50 crunches before I feel like puking. I can carry my own groceries. I can run for 2.8 km without stopping (18 mins on the treadmill).
And I'm okay with all of that.
Gonna go have that cupcake now.
Reader Comments (30)
Very nice perspective. I hope one day I can mature enough to have it for myself.... I already do for everyone else. Isn't it funny how we never see those beauty "imperfections" in the ones we love?
Wonderful! You can run for how long without stopping?! I am in awe.
Great post!
How true! I wish we could all step back and take a good look at our beliefs and assumptions. What a great read this morning. Thanks!
AMEN! And junk food does have a lot to do with fat. Jeeze. I wonder the reaction if she would have been chugging a beer with a basket of pig skins. LOL!
I've embraced my post-teen fatness. I hug myself every day. Sure I could stand to lose a few pounds, or fifty, but I can still go play tennis with my man, walk with the kids to the park and swim like a fish when we are out camping for the weekend.
And kudos to YOU for running on the treadmill. Fat girls with big butts don't run... my ass would hit me in the back of my head, I'd fall down, suffer a concussion and end up in the ER. Not pretty.
I have a problem with the Princessification of today's female youth as well. But it makes my kid so damn happy. I'm willing to live with my own loathing of it if it makes her smile.
I don't think I look bad with the weight I have on me, but my back tells me otherwise. Loudly.
It's not the princess look that bothers me, it's the attitude. Nobody should wait for prince charming, and ain't nobody going to wait on you hand and foot in the real world.
You should go on talk shows. You're doing something about how you look/feel instead of playing the blame game. I'm all for that. No matter how we look, we all feel there's something we would change. You either need to accept the "flaw" or do something about it! No more whining or excusing.
I love the perspective... I've often thought of that... the fact that everyone is so worried about what they look like to everyone else that we aren't paying attention to other people's looks.
You are so right - we are all so obsessed with our own image and self-dialogue that we don't really notice anybody else (unless they are really enormous LOL!). And life and living are more important than being fixated on our bums. and thighs. and pimples. and ...
I can no longer lift up my girls. The smallest comes up to my shoulders. That is when I started feeling inadequate.
Yeah, I have the same problem with the princess stuff. It's banned from my home.
I can ALWAYS rationalize a cupcake or piece of chocolate! I too have days where I feel 'fat', 'good looking' and 'stupid' all at once. Thankfully I have been bitten by the fitness bug and I'm slowly learning not to care about my weight but my fitness instead!
I can ALWAYS rationalize a cupcake or piece of chocolate! I too have days where I feel 'fat', 'good looking' and 'stupid' all at once. Thankfully I have been bitten by the fitness bug and I'm slowly learning not to care about my weight but my fitness instead!
Loved the princess photos. I don't have girls, but I do seriously worry about the whole princess thing, too. "Rescue me"is hardly the attitude that we want our girls to emulate.
Ahhh, if the big bad wolf was hungry enough, Little Red Riding hood would have gotten eaten no matter what she looked like! I always wonder who people would pair up with if everyone was blind? Save me a cupcake! LOL!
this is one of the best posts i've read in ..... well, since you had that mouse problem.
princessification is new to my vocabulary, but i'm sure my husband will be begging me to let that "tired word" die in no time at all.
Nom, nom, nom... enjoy! You deserve it! :)
I would kill right now for a chocolate cupcake!
Go girl. Trust me, I've done it all...diets, crazy exercise....doesn't matter. We all have good days and bad and no one is perfect. Well except Heidi Klum but I am convinced she is not really human.
At least Little Red Riding Hood was out walking....
Loved the princess photos, HATE princesses. I'm trying so hard not to raise one.
Cupcakes rule, exercise drools.
I ate some chocolate cake after reading this post. It was fantastic!
Yep, I need that cupcake too. I like the Snow White one the best and they all made me LAUGH.
It took me until I had my second daughter to just let the whole princess thing go. The girls love it, so wtf... I'll pay for the therapy.
enjoy your cupcake:)
i'm just trying to lose the muffin top.
i don't go by the number on the scale either...i prefer to judge whether i could stand to lose a few pounds by the amount of cat calls i get from the construction boys.
andy
p.s. no, not really. but a girl can wish.
Great post! Excellent points.
And I LOVE the princess photos. Thanks for that.