Running through my head*

Okay. Make sure I warm up. I stretched. I hydrated. Don't eff it up now by not warming up.

Forgot my sunglasses.

"Running up the driveway doesn't count," haha, honey. I don't see YOU exercising.

Okay, really going now.

Running. Really, running? Wtf is wrong with me?

Maybe I should pretend something large and toothy is chasing me.

I wonder if I could drop kick that guy who is standing perilously close to the edge of the water without breaking stride?

Hey, this isn't so bad.

Hydrating is good, except now I have to pee. Running while having to pee? Not so good.

I wonder if I could drop kick that Canadian goose without breaking stride?

Still have to pee.

Stretching, hydrating, and warming up properly actually works! I feel like I could run forever! This is further than I've ever run before! This is great! This is - owowowowowowowow shin splint!

Well, fuck.

*Get it? Because it's about running? Right? Okay, fine, it wasn't funny. Shut up, I just went for a run. What did YOU do?