I am, secretly, part-owner of a spa salon. Keeping it a secret makes me feel like a super hero, but it's hard to make the staff listen to you.
I am trying to book a manicure, but the receptionist doesn't feel I should get it for free if SHE doesn't. I tell her she can have one free one a month. She turns up her nose.
Two, I say, two. And a waxing. I'm conscious that she's good at her job and we should probably keep her around.
Who ARE you, anyway? she demands.
The spa is decorated in an 'aquatic' theme. I rearrange the crabs that are part of the decor, but they are still alive and won't stay put. I feel like they are ungrateful - I brought them from my old job at Red Lobster.
(I've never worked at Red Lobster).
My manicure peels. It is too hot in the aquatic-themed spa, the boiler is working too hard. I try to take it up with the maintenance man, but he is hiding in the basement playing with dolls.
Quickly! He shouts. Don't let them in!
I throw myself at the front door just in time to stop them from entering. It's the What Not to Wear crew. I actually really want them to accost me, but in the dream I'm painfully fashionable and it would be admitting defeat.
It doesn't matter, because they're here for the ugly girls next door anyway.
Yeah, I don't get me, either. Interpret. Discuss amongst yourselves.