Drunken bacon zombies something something: Random Tuesday Thoughts
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 2:17AM 
You know it, folks...it's that time again! If you're new here, it's pretty easy - just grab the button, post it on your own nonsensical, possibly wine-influenced post, and then skip back here to leave your link with Mr. Linky.
I kind of took a mini-blogging vacation over the weekend. You'd think that with an extra day or two off I would arrive back all refreshed and full of ideas, but no - mostly I slept. Well, on Saturday night FoN and I and a couple others went to a sex tradeshow, but that kind of warrants its own post so that's all I'm going to say about that.
(A sex TRADESHOW, not a SEX TRADE show. Although all the visual indicators said that demographic was represented.)
I usually jot down one or two ideas during the week for these posts, but because I slept a lot that didn't happen. So this is probably the first RTT post since it's inception where I'm going in cold. To aid the flow of ideas, I thought I'd go for a run first. I even took a pen and notebook.
Turns out, to make running tolerable I need to think about NOTHING. Or pretend I'm pushing a cart of supplies through zombie-infested territory, two swords strapped to my back, eye on the horizon for herds of shambling corpses. But, mostly nothing.
So I'm back to my faithful inspirational nectar of the gods, shiraz. Right now I'm drinking a recent discovery from Copper Moon. Nom.
I'm totally going to email them and tell them I pimped their stuff on my blog. Maybe they'll send me a
cratebottle or two.
I had no zombie dreams while doing my copious amounts of sleeping this weekend. I did, however, have a terrible, terrible dream where I had to SLEEP AT MY PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT to get work done and the boss kept waking up my kid.
("Copious amount" is a very relative term, by the way. I had two full nights and a nap. I would have laughed at myself 5 years ago, I was a sleeping PRO. Napping was practically one of the major things Paul and I had in common).
My dog can Houdini her way out of her harness, if she's determined enough. She has no neck, so she can just back out of anything we put on her. So while I was picking up dog food this morning I thought I'd ask about more...restrictive...versions. I asked the store clerk if they had any kind of harness that went around the back end, as well. I'm positive I've seen that somewhere.
"No, sorry. We have these ones, that go around the narrowest part of their body, you know, the 'tuck'. That might work"
"Yeah, she doesn't really have a 'tuck' - she's a fatass. She's more what you'd call a 'sausage'. Do you have, like, a full body suit for dogs?"
"Um..."
"Like a Body Glove? Are there suits for surfing dogs that I could just attach a leash to?"
"I don't really think...I mean, the owner isn't in right now but he might know..."
"Or something in latex?"
Then my son distracted the clerk by pointing to the dog toys and shrieking, "Ball. Ball. BALL!!". So I bought
himthe dog a toy and left.Pretty sure I can find the surfing dog suit online, anyway.
Prior to the dog store we had to go get X's 18-month immunization shots. That's always a fun time, huh? Holding your hysterical, screaming child while some vindictive bitch stabs him three times? I usually let Paul hold him and then I do the comforting afterward, but this time I was flying solo. Also, due to
He probably would have been okay, but he was already upset that the play area had a distinct shortage of BALLS.
I always feel like calling in sick after those little episodes, I'm pretty much traumatized for the day.
I didn't, though. I still went to work. Even though my boss made me sleep there and woke my kid up, that asshole.
Oh, no, wait. That part was a dream.
Anybody else feel their borders blurring lately? No? Just me then? Okay.
And now - Bacon Flavored Vodka.
So, Swine Flu = Zombie Apocalypse? You guys think? It's gotta be close. Fashionista texted me the other day to inform me she'd had her first zombie dream. She blamed me, but I think it's just the collective unconscious telling us that it's coming. Morphic resonance.
I know, you're thinking: how can someone know so much about so little and still be a complete fucking idiot?
It's a talent.
What's YOUR talent? We want pics.
Okay, no we don't, we - er, I - just want your Random Tuesday Thoughts. Grab the button, link up, and then visit your compatriots to see what THEY'RE thinking about!
Reader Comments (69)
I'm going to roll with this whole first thing this week! Firsties! Wahoo!
I just burnt the crap out of my 'brunch' because I was busy reading about Bacon vodka. Good thing they don't have smoke alarms here. Word to the unwise: Don't cook and Blog surf at the same time. Bad things could happen.
Body glove for dogs, yeah, I could see that.
My talent? This morning it's procrastination, staying my pj's till nearly lunch time and burning sausage. Though these talents aren't new.
Wasn't it Woody Harrelson who saw a zombie a few weeks ago?
I can relate to the urge to nap, but the infatuation with Zombies is a little different! LOL!
My talent? To be honest, when I saw the bacon-flavored vodka I went "ewww" but then that talent kicked in and I thought, "Wait - this has merit. Add some maple syrup and garnish it with a slice of hard-boiled egg and you've got a Denny's Grand Slam Martini here. You KNOW there's a market for this..."
Oh, and my oldest son will be 26 in June, my youngest son is 14, and there are three girls in between (two of them are my husband's) and my borders have been blurred for years.
Shoots are the worst. My guy just got 2 year shots and he totally remmebers now. No good at all.
I love the free flowing randomness - excellent work.
My talent? I can touch my tongue to my nose. Does that count?
Love your Random Thoughts. You rock! We totally think the same. The dog harness story is great!
I just don't know about the bacon flavored vodka. I'm pretty picky about my bacon, I only like the Oscar Mayer variety and it must be cooked a certain way. What if they use some weird off-brand in their vodka?
Happy RTT!
I'm not too sure about the full body suit for dogs. How are they going to do their business without getting it all on the suit? Could be very messy.
I hate bringing my kids in for their shots. It's always tramatic.
My talent? I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue.
I had a nap so good yesterday that I actually felt compelled to get on twitter and tweet about it. It was THAT good.
My first RTT!!! Yeah, I've got a lot of work to do!
LOL@ only just having gotten the 12 month old shots. I am so the same way.
Yeah, but we don't have shit else in common...especially not bacon flavored vodka and zombie nightmares.
I have recurring nightmares about mushrooms...poisonous mushrooms growing in a field. They don't attack or anything, they're just the only thing available to eat.
Much scarier than zombies, I think!
And in terms of vodka...two words, Ketel One and it doesn't come in bacon flavor.
Great RTT!
OK, the bacon vodka thing reminded me of this little recent news item:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/science/sciencenews/5118283/Bacon-sandwich-really-does-cure-a-hangover.html" REL="nofollow">Bacon Sandwich Really Does Cure A HangoverI wonder, though, if you tried to cure a bacon-vodka hangover with a bacon sandwich whether it would be something like a clash of matter & antimatter and the universe would end right then & there?
First off, we have a Houdini dog too, she always slipped out of her leash on bike rides until we bought her this (http://www.ruffwear.com/Web-Master-Harness?sc=2&category=1131) gadget.
I've dreamt that I've had to sleep at work but that was mostly back when I was working in a restaurant or fast food. Nowadays, I'd give anything to have a quiet place to sleep so it's too bad I don't have a job anymore.
Sorry about the shots. Elliot got her one year shots last week but she got over it pretty quickly.
Happy Tuesday.
That wine website is awesome! I love Shiraz. Not a big vodka fan, though. I'll just take the bacon, thanks.
Looking forward to your post on the sex tradeshow!
Still having Zombie dreams. Thank you.
LOL I've definitely felt the borders of dreams and reality blur before. You're not alone :)
I'm a RTT virgin too. I love naps and sure wish I could figure a way to take one today. It's the only good thing about being slightly ill -- you have a great reason to nap despite what work might be waiting for you! I'll have to check out Copper Moon, thanks for the tip!
When our Sheltie puppy is not being a Houdini, he's being a cowboy hogtying himself with his leash...or anyone in the immediate vicinity. I bet you could get bodyglove for dogs online.
I've never been a runner, so to make it tolerable I'd probably need a lobotomy. ;)
Annual shots for the munchkins are the worst - especially when they remember and start to howl the minute the doctor comes into the room. I'm surprised the Princess Nagger's pediatrician doesn't have a complex by now. ;)
Bacon vodka...it's not just for breakfast anymore.
Great randomness! :)
i left you a little something over on my blog... with all the talk about zombies, i couldn't pass up the opportunity to bestow the "zombie chicken" award on you...
I don't run unless something is chasing me. like a tiger. or a zombie.
and yes, it is horrible when the babies remember the shots..I know when my kids remembered..they both looked at me like 'mom, you traitor..' i felt like dog shit...
and yeah, I hate it when dreams and reality become one..
dog in surf suit= pictures. please.
A sex tradeshow huh Keely and FoN? wtf? Why wasn't I invited? :|
I kid...I'm pretty squeamish...I probably would've cowered in the bathroom stall the whole time.
Can't wait for THAT post!
Not to torture you or anything, but whatever you do, if you visit my blog, do NOT go to my post on Monday. There is something zombie-related that I'm thinking you don't want to see. I think your zombie talk is infecting me now.
: )
My terrier is not a fatass, but can still Houdini himself out of anything. Blue the beagle is one major fatass, but still has a neck, which Sprite likes to squeeze until Blue's eyes bulge. That's abuse, right? John says it is, but if the dog sticks around for it, is it then just aggressive love? I'm confused..
I'd love to see Cassie in that full body surf dog suit. Keep me posted on that one.
My dog can't get out of his harness, thank goodness. Should you find the full body surf dog suit, though -- we want photos. you have to know that.
My boundaries blur a lot between reality and dreams. Sometimes I dream I'm at work and that a co-worker screamed at me and I screamed back and the next day I find myself giving the co-worker the evil-eye. For no reason at all, because of course it was just a dream. But I bet that witch wanted to yell at me so she deserves the evil eye, you know?
I remember those shots. That was SO stressful! At least you won't have to get more until the 2 year old check up, right? : )