Drunken bacon zombies something something: Random Tuesday Thoughts


You know it, folks...it's that time again! If you're new here, it's pretty easy - just grab the button, post it on your own nonsensical, possibly wine-influenced post, and then skip back here to leave your link with Mr. Linky.

I kind of took a mini-blogging vacation over the weekend. You'd think that with an extra day or two off I would arrive back all refreshed and full of ideas, but no - mostly I slept. Well, on Saturday night FoN and I and a couple others went to a sex tradeshow, but that kind of warrants its own post so that's all I'm going to say about that.

(A sex TRADESHOW, not a SEX TRADE show. Although all the visual indicators said that demographic was represented.)

I usually jot down one or two ideas during the week for these posts, but because I slept a lot that didn't happen. So this is probably the first RTT post since it's inception where I'm going in cold. To aid the flow of ideas, I thought I'd go for a run first. I even took a pen and notebook.

Turns out, to make running tolerable I need to think about NOTHING. Or pretend I'm pushing a cart of supplies through zombie-infested territory, two swords strapped to my back, eye on the horizon for herds of shambling corpses. But, mostly nothing.

So I'm back to my faithful inspirational nectar of the gods, shiraz. Right now I'm drinking a recent discovery from Copper Moon. Nom.

I'm totally going to email them and tell them I pimped their stuff on my blog. Maybe they'll send me a crate bottle or two.

I had no zombie dreams while doing my copious amounts of sleeping this weekend. I did, however, have a terrible, terrible dream where I had to SLEEP AT MY PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT to get work done and the boss kept waking up my kid.

("Copious amount" is a very relative term, by the way. I had two full nights and a nap. I would have laughed at myself 5 years ago, I was a sleeping PRO. Napping was practically one of the major things Paul and I had in common).

My dog can Houdini her way out of her harness, if she's determined enough. She has no neck, so she can just back out of anything we put on her. So while I was picking up dog food this morning I thought I'd ask about more...restrictive...versions. I asked the store clerk if they had any kind of harness that went around the back end, as well. I'm positive I've seen that somewhere.

"No, sorry. We have these ones, that go around the narrowest part of their body, you know, the 'tuck'. That might work"

"Yeah, she doesn't really have a 'tuck' - she's a fatass. She's more what you'd call a 'sausage'. Do you have, like, a full body suit for dogs?"


"Like a Body Glove? Are there suits for surfing dogs that I could just attach a leash to?"

"I don't really think...I mean, the owner isn't in right now but he might know..."

"Or something in latex?"

Then my son distracted the clerk by pointing to the dog toys and shrieking, "Ball. Ball. BALL!!". So I bought him the dog a toy and left.

Pretty sure I can find the surfing dog suit online, anyway.

Prior to the dog store we had to go get X's 18-month immunization shots. That's always a fun time, huh? Holding your hysterical, screaming child while some vindictive bitch stabs him three times? I usually let Paul hold him and then I do the comforting afterward, but this time I was flying solo. Also, due to systemic procrastination a scheduling mishap, he only got the "12 month" ones a couple of months ago. So he totally remembered what the deal was.

He probably would have been okay, but he was already upset that the play area had a distinct shortage of BALLS.

I always feel like calling in sick after those little episodes, I'm pretty much traumatized for the day.

I didn't, though. I still went to work. Even though my boss made me sleep there and woke my kid up, that asshole.

Oh, no, wait. That part was a dream.

Anybody else feel their borders blurring lately? No? Just me then? Okay.

And now - Bacon Flavored Vodka.

So, Swine Flu = Zombie Apocalypse? You guys think? It's gotta be close. Fashionista texted me the other day to inform me she'd had her first zombie dream. She blamed me, but I think it's just the collective unconscious telling us that it's coming. Morphic resonance.

I know, you're thinking: how can someone know so much about so little and still be a complete fucking idiot?

It's a talent.

What's YOUR talent? We want pics.

Okay, no we don't, we - er, I - just want your Random Tuesday Thoughts. Grab the button, link up, and then visit your compatriots to see what THEY'RE thinking about!