Conversations with Nana Mouskouri*
Wednesday, April 22, 2009 at 9:07AM These past few days I've been inspired to blog conversations I've recently had with Paul. For the most part I've resisted, lest there be blood and fire and locusts. (In other words, he might be kind of annoyed if I start telling the internets).
But then I realized, holy shit. I've been having conversations. With my husband. That hasn't happened in, oh...about 18 months. A period roughly the shape and size of our son.
You see, our kid isn't in daycare right now - Paul works nights and I work days, and we juggle the jailkeeper duties between the two of us. So I see him for about 5 minutes in the morning when his son punches him in the face to wake him up, and then for about 5 more minutes in the evening when we're all cramming food into our collective maw and Paul is trying to shit and shower and shave at the same time. Our conversations pretty much consist of, "Hehasn'tpooped-YourMomcalled-Henappedforanhour-Pleasetakeoutthetrash-Whatdoyoumeanthedoghasn'tbeenoutallday?"
But for the past week Paul's restaurant has been closed for renovations and he's been at home. So I took a long weekend and we just had happy family time.
(It took about 3 days to adjust to that).
(Which left us one whole day to enjoy it).
And I was all, Oh YEAH. I remember you. You make me laugh and think. You're actually pretty fun to be around. I guess there's a reason I got knocked up in the first place, hey?
And then I thought, um...we're trying to add ANOTHER time suck bundle of joy into the fray? Is that a good idea? I might not even recognize him by the time we emerge. He might be all warty and shrunken. And I might be...all warty and shrunken.
But the conversations that WE have, I want us to have as a family. I want to all sit around the dinner table, all of us, and get opinions and stories and facts from all quarters, and laugh and talk and be friends for at least that one hour. And then dad will burp loudly and mom will roll her eyes and the kids will giggle when he winks at them. And everybody will go off to their busy lives, homework or housework or blogging hobbies, knowing that they're part of a fabulous thing.
I know that this ideal exists, because I had it, growing up. I'm almost positive it's still achievable.
So the chaos will roll back in this week, our conversations will return to their abbreviated state and half of them will end up as texts. But eventually Xander will go to daycare and we might take another vacation, and we'll have at least TEN minutes a day to talk to each other. Maybe X will even contribute more than "Baaall!" and "Woof!".
And my kids can grow up with the ideal, too.
*Nana Mouskouri has nothing, nothing at all, to do with this post. I'm just dying of curiousity to see if anybody remembers she exists and is googling her. So, if that's how you got here, HI! I know nothing about Nana either. Sorry to entangle you in my little experiment. Feel free to go here.
Reader Comments (22)
Oh lord, after my second child was born I was out of my mind for a while and often had detailed fantasies about divorcing my husband. It all passed once the kid stopped crying and started sleeping and eventually I was glad I had a second child. Because it is awesome to have that family unit, you know, our little team.
But my husband and I still don't converse much because our kids never shut up until they're asleep.
Ah, parenthood *wipes eyes*
If you're having this much fun now it'll be even better with another kidd-o. And no, I'm actually not being sarcastic :)
I'm afraid to even ask about Nana. I'm just going to let that slip!
I felt kind of dumb b/c I have no idea who Nana Mouskouri is. So I'm glad she wasn't in your post. I too aspire to the family eating/talking at dinner scene (never had it as a kid), but mostly Chuck and I cram food in our mouths while standing up and trying to decide what the hell to make Junior for dinner.
I think it's cute how you're all lovey dovey for your hubs. You're so getting knocked up! Woohoo!
I can't believe that after such a great post, and 79 comments yesterday, that I am only the fourth person to comment? I LOVED THIS POST!
(Sorry, was I yelling?)
Ed and I don't even have the hectic schedule you and Paul have, and we still don't get time to talk. But we do sit down to eat dinner with the girls, and that's a great habit to have.
P.S. You're awesome. Especially on Wednesdays!
Well if you love him so much why don't you marry him! Again, that is. . .
your conversations with your husband are eerily similar to ours. i think that's about how all conversations go once you have kids. in any case, thanks for the laugh!
We've been having this same conversation for MONTHS. I hear ya.
I didn't even see the Nana title until I read the disclaimer.
I'm with you except that I didn't have the "together as a family" time growing up and I'm determined to get it now.
We've been in a similar rut, only talking/loudly discussing the kids and the dogs and the housework. We both realized it a few weeks back and are trying to spend more time together. Hence: Me only showing up in the blogosphere LATE at night post kids and husband time.
And when your kids grow up you can use dinner time to make fun of their outfits! It's awesome.
It's funny how kids dominate everything. I remember when we used to discuss something potty training, snack time, homework or who stole what toy from whom.
I hope you get another weekend of time soon. The parents of the universe tell me the talking time gets better as the kids get older but I wouldn't know anything about that yet.
Thanks to my mom I know who Nana Mouskouri is. And I'm working very hard towards the ideal and not so much what I grew up with.
I didn't have anything close to the ideal growing up. So I'm kind of making it up as I go, but I hope someday my son will look back and think he had an ideal childhood.
Glad you got to spend some time with your hubby.
I'll bet our parents never thought they had the "ideal" even though we, as kids, thought we did. No sweat, Girl.
The kids do suck up an awful lot of life/time right now, but I'm hoping in a few years they will distract each other.
I haven't googled her...yet!
You crazy lady you!
BTW, I don't know if you do awards, but Keely I have a very special one for you at my blog!
I guarantee if you are an anti-award-blogger, this might be the award to take you to the dark side!
Ha!
If:
a) you are trying to add to your family, and
b) you only see your husband 10 minutes a day, then
c) you guys probably shouldn't talk at all, you've got 'other things' to do.
Maybe I've got 3 kids because we have longer conversations? hmmmm?
I had something like this recently, too - this week, in fact! Hub and I don't have kids, but there was a period of time in which we didn't interact AT ALL! For the last few days, though, we've done stuff together, talked, and had a lot of fun. I totally had the "Hey! I remember you!" moment. Yay for yours!
That sounds just crazy to live with one person on days and one on nights. That has got to be hard. I hope you guys can find some sort of happy balance.
I realize I am in the minority.. but I actually do know who Nana Mouskouri is.. and I loved listening to her when I was younger. My grandmother bought me a couple of her albums when I was young hoping that I would sing like her.
I am glad you found time to be together again, even if it was such a short period. Everyone needs that reminder of why they chose to be there every so often. I hope you find a way to do it more, and enjoy the time you have. =]
I do worry about that with baby 2 on the way... but then I think that yes, that infant stage might be busier but really, will it make a difference for how much time we have for each other after that? I'm not sure it will. I think we'll just have to try harder to make it a priority (especially on the weekend when we can have real family time).
And yes, I remember Nana M.
I couldn't imagine being like ships that pass in the night...but I bet it would make me appreciate (more) the times when hubby decides to take a whole week off work... ;)
I love your goal for 'the ideal' - and the fact that you want your kids to grow up with that ideal, too. You ROCK! :)
And I didn't even think about your Nana Mouskouri title until your disclaimer at the bottom when you reminded me of it...so I suppose now I'll be off Googling! ;)