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    « Spin Cycle: Celebrity | Main | Bunnies, more spiders, and huge bazongas: Random Tuesday Thoughts »
    Wednesday
    Apr152009

    Maybe if she got a job or cleaned up once in a while, y'know?

    This afternoon someone walked their medium-sized punt dog past our house and our dog, as per usual, lost her shit. She leapt up on the ottoman that sits under the living room window like she was some kind of hound from hell and barked her fierce bark mindlessly. The window shook. There were hackles.

    I try not to yell at her when she does this but it was the end of the day and my patience was wearing thin. So I grabbed her nose in the "mother correction" and glared at her sternly, my "there must be silence" finger pointed skyward.

    And she growled at me. SHE GROWLED AT ME.

    So I growled right the fuck back.

    We're cool now, but still. That was probably one of the 3 times EVER my dog has growled at, or around, me. It worries me. I have a rather short person living in my house who is unconcerned with teeth or growling, who thinks it's freaking hilarious to poke the resident canine in the eye and tease her mercilessly with carrot sticks. (I keep telling him that he's going to lose a finger doing that, but I'm not sure he gets it).

    I get it. I get that the poor dog is ignored and underexercised, and there's probably some spring fever mixed in there. I think I'd be doing a lot more than growling if someone only let ME out of the house twice a day to piss, and yelled at me every time I tried to eat something.

    (Maybe I should get someone to do that. It might help the diet).

    I get it that mostly, this is my fault, but still. The growling is not cool. There were many things about our dog that I took issue with BEFORE we had a kid, and pretty much the instant I gave birth the dog fell to the bottom of the priority list. I feel guilty every goddamn day for that, but there it is.

    Next time, I'm getting a fucking basset hound.

    Or an iguana.

    Reader Comments (41)

    we have the same problem with my spoiled 10 year old mutt, and casey never listens when we tell him the warning signs to get out of the dog's shit.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDina

    Forget the dogs, get plants. They are less work.

    ;)

    I know what you mean but our problem is more dog vs dog than dog vs kids. My sister is old enough to egg the puppy on to play with the 13 year old dog and hes not too happy about it.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngel

    I've done that very same thing - growled back at my dog. Seemed to make a difference and there's been no growling competition - or at least not that often. And he is extremely protective of the Princess Nagger - no matter what she does to him...he's never growled at her. So if your dog has only growled at you when you've been suppressing her urge to 'protect' her territory, I think you and Xander will be just fine. Especially if your dog has never growled at Xander in spite of getting poked and teased... :)

    Depends on the dog, but you never know. We had a dog, very, very calm with the kids, but the dog got old and couldn't see very well anymore. He attacked another dog, and during storms the dog would go mental, tear the shit out of everything.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCameron

    I bit my dog once when she was a puppy! She would always bite, so I bit her back! LOL She doesn't bite anymore.

    Iguana's smack you with their tails. I had two at one time and every time I would put my hand in the tank to get something they would smack the hell out of my hand with their tails. They tried to bite too, but that didn't hurt. LOL

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter*Just Jen*

    Had a Basset Hound once. That dog ripped the sink off the wall in the bathroom. Not joking. I didn't witness the event, only the aftermath. Was amazing and disturbing and really made me angry. Yes, it was purebred and lazy as hell.. but if they don't get their way they will make their disgust known.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwendy

    Dogs are like kids and need to test the chain of command every once in awhile. It's all cool! But the answer is definitely NOT getting a GD basset hound! That shit will howl all night and you'll never sleep!

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScandalous Housewife

    Basset Hounds smell. My mother had one and it smelled. JR took it to the vet once to ask how the hell to make it stop smelling. Answer: can't that's just the way they are.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

    My 9 year old beagle loves the hell out of Sprite and will take Sprite's abuse any way she gives it. My 7 year old terrier? Another story. Sprite comes near him and he growls at her. He will never growl at us, but snaps at the beagle all the time. Of course, she's his bitch, so she takes that too. Come to think of it, she's a real push over.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSprite's Keeper

    Since our kids have been born, I basically hate our dogs. They vomit on the floor and go completely ape shit when anyone even THINKS of walking in front of our house. Even Oscar now yells QUITE! when they start barking. And they are so annoying, I know they will live forever, tormenting me.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

    Our cats fell to the bottom of the priorities list when we had children. We thought it was a natural occurrence. They thought we were horrible, and they tried to kill us. (Seriously. It happened.) But they never tried to hurt one of the kids.

    You're right; the growling is not cool. But hopefully she has learned her lesson. And pets do tend to treat our children a little more gingerly than they treat us. Somehow, they know better.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMomma Trish

    Seriously, the growling would scare me. I'm not a dog person, though. They make me nervous around little ones. Especially eye-poking little ones.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

    Lizards are the best pets EVER. They're quiet, they stay in the same place, never need walked, don't have to eat every day, are fun to watch, and-- most importantly-- don't stink.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGreenJello

    I hear you about the guilt. My 23 lb cat was down to 16 lbs after the little guy came, and we started to ignore him. We went to one of those "long term" feed and water solutions so we could just keep him fed. Argh. If I only had more time, or 3 more hands. As the little guy gets older, though, he gives the cat more attention. I'm not sure how it will turn out (I don't know if the cat thinks its a good thing, yet). Maybe the dog thinks the taunting with carrot sticks and eye poking is at least some attention? More than he might get otherwise? Good luck.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMama Badger

    My dog is being quite a bitch lately too!!! I really hope it is Spring Fever....she ate ANOTHER stick of butter last night!!!

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

    I have a 15 week old yorkie that weighs 4 pounds. Don't think he can hurt to much. Everyone plays with him -- someone always has him in there arms. Hope everthing gets better.

    But U is funny as HELL!

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnissa

    I did the same thing as *Just Jen* !!! My girl was very mouthy as a pup, and I bit her back one day. When she gets overly-mouthy now, I'll still grab a bite of fuzz, and she calms right down. She gets all kissy-face after that. *LOL*
    Be the Alpha mommy! *rarr!*

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFish

    I noticed this phenomenon in our home as well. Before I had kids my dog was my BABY! I would have seriously wanted to cause great bodily harm to anyone who messed with him. After kids....well, he's lucky if he gets a pat on the head once a month. Yes, I do feel bad. No, it's probably not going to change though.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeatherPride

    I don't think I've ever had my dog growl at me... Not to say we haven't had our conflicts but then again she's an alpha female, she's strong, she's built like a tank, and she didn't like learning that she wasn't the boss. Even so, there have only been a few times where I've needed to exert some power to re-establish my dominance (of the pack).

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFiggy

    We don't have dogs, but after our first kid was born I sent two of my cats to live with my parents. And they're lucky my parents took'em or they would've been at the pound. I just couldn't take their nonsense anymore and they were all over the baby and in the crib and just, uh uh. The final straw was when one left a dead RAT in the nursery. They were gone the next day.

    It's normal to pay less attention to your pets when you have little ones. The baby comes first.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterblissfully caffeinated

    who the hell needs pets? I have a 3yo who likes to crawl and bark (and is potty trained!!!) and a 1yo who likes to hug and kiss all the time. I gotta feed 'em three times a day and wipe some asses, but all in all, good times and the only thing they shed are clothes.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Brandos

    I'd definitely take exception to the growling. Especially with a short person around. My kids want a dog but I'm too afraid (and okay, lazy too) for a dog. I want a dog like I had growing up (daschund). You opened the back door and she went out did whatever and came back in. I don't want to have to walk it or have accidents in my house. I have kids who need to be walked and have accidents. I don't really want a third kid.

    I hope the dog chills!

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlogging Mama Andrea

    My pets are the only things in my house that I can boss around. I do not tolerate any talk back. Neither should you.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDaddy Geek Boy

    I have two very neglected cats.

    They are currently locked in my bedroom because they were meowing outside my son's door during naptime.

    Good luck with your dog.

    April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterK

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